Hard to fight,
The urge to cut,
No one cares,
Or so i thought,
Dont give up,
Just yet my dear,
Hold on!
cut
Every now and then I will find a cut that I don’t remember doing to myself. I can tell that it was self inflicted, but I don’t remember doing it. Does this happen to anyone else?
Every now and then I will find a cut that I don’t remember doing to myself. I can tell that it was self inflicted, but I don’t remember doing it. Does this happen to anyone else?
I want to cut, I want to cut, cut, cut, cut, blood, drip, drop, razor, sharp, blade – My therapist needs to be on call right now, and he needs to stop being a prick. Â Anyways, you probably think I am another whiney teenager… Â Nope I am a bitchy 30 year old nasty **** whore. Â I keep thinking the best way to rid the world of my filth is to jump off that bridge. Â BUT I have done that once and survived injured but alive and pissed off. Â I could just use some words of wisdom or hilarious stupidity right now. Â THANK YOU
When he found out I was cutting, he tried not to help the urge. Then he used it as a threat. He then got scared if others found out. Now he’s back to yelling, pushing me to cut or commit. I wish I could. The worst I can so is cut. I can’t commit. I am able too. I do not fear Death. But milady said to not disappear. So, I will pursue some hope in this pit of Hell.
It’s been almost 2 weeks since I stopped cutting, I was not that bad when I stopped that’s why I did, but I don’t think I’ve ever had this huge need to cut like I have right now, it’s getting really tough…I’m not sure I can continue like this, maybe I should continue doing it, nothing seems to care, I don’t even care so…
Theres an asshole in my school that’s pushing buttons that he shouldn’t push. First, he jokes about Death, asking one of my closest friends if she wants to die and trying to convince her that she wants too. Then he starts insulting cutters, when one of his friends and many of my friends cut. None he says that the stage is where I dahlias be, not answering a call that informs me that my friend has gone back into a coma. The ONLY thing saving this ass kisser is that the show is next Friday and Saturday.
Then, we will fight. My background makes most boys […]
I first cut myself at age twelve. And tried to commit suicide. I was diagnosed with depression right before I turned thirteen.
Now before all of you come at me saying “that can’t be true” or “12 is a little kid,” I have been an extremely advanced individual all my life. I was reading above most adults level at the age of ten. Most people thought I was lucky but to be able to understand everything going on around me at such a young age was torturous for me. My mother and father had very hard psychological pasts, my father being handed around from person to […]
I’m not for sure how I want to go. I really want to just die and the only way I can do it right now is cutting too deep and I’m scared that I won’t cut deep enough and I will just have big cuts on my arms. I either don’t want them there or I do but I would rather be dead, ya know? Like I don’t want anyone to find out that I tried to kill myself. Anyway I’ve looked for sleeping pills but I can’t find any. All I can find are 4 bottles of freaking ibuprofen. I really just want to […]
when yiou drink the rest of hyour champagne and drink some whiskey and take you r medicine and end up bcoming so out of it, you ccan’ t even think. yeahhh. todahy has sucked. Â fucked up once again, …the girl i love is gone and her e i am, wishing i could take that razor and cut my vewin open…but i don’t have the strength…i’m too tired. i’m tired of everything. i have my first day of work tommorow that i’m probably foing to fuck up as well since i forgot eveerything. i need to sleep but no, i gots tio go get a […]
She’s on the floor, bleeding out
I thought she was dead, without a doubt
My honesty is brutal, I’m a killer without care
she could go missing, and i wouldn’t tell anyone, where.
I can hang you high or cut you low
but I’ll always make sure, you know
I can be cruel, I can be stiff but if i could, i’d jump off a cliff.
I’ll suffocate you in your sleep.
I’ll wait till midnight to bury you deep.
I’ll stop your heart, so it can’t beat
and i’ll shoot you once  so you can cheat.
I’m a killer without a care
but I myself have been […]
Why is it at night I wanna cut?
Burn my arm with that cigarette butt,
Feel that rush running though my veins,
That sweet sensation of pain,
Some nights I want to take the blade right along my neck,
End the misery, the pressure but out of all that what do I really get?
Then I think I should just do this,
I know for a fact I won’t really be missed.
People will be happy to see me go,
Didn’t think people could be so low.
They are the real soul takers,
And dream breakers.
Funny how when its morning my thoughts are gone,
Right at the crack of dawn,
I forget about the blade, the tablets, the […]
I wanna cut my wrist so fucking back right now but I have this job thing on the third & I dont want people seeing them.I really dont want to cut on my thies or anywhere else.Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I have a pencil sharpener!!
Razors&drugs cause a n+«»a fucking depressed
over the past few months I’ve pretty much realized and accepted the failure that I am and that feeling inside me doesn’t go away. I’m sick and tired of it and each time all the expectations that are brought infront of me by my parents make me realize even more of the enormity of how badly I’m failing them. it kills me inside and each time I get these supposed wake up calls it makes me so angry inside and I cut myself and keep moving the blade over and over my first cut. I let the blood flow, see the trail and ponder over the […]
i just want to cut so bad, i can even see the exact places i’ll do it. my hands shake when i’m not holding something, my skin crawls, and itch that can’t be satisfied. a thirst that wont be quenched. i need to cut. but i’m afraid to even get up. because i know exactly where something is. and if by some chance it’s not there, i know where a lighter is. a burn would last longer, hurt more. give more of a release. but i can’t. it’s wrong, forbidden
what bothers me is that there are so many people in the world. so many people are depressed. so many people cut. so many people have lost someone they love. so many people have attempted suicide. so many people have gone through with it. so what makes me any different? Â if I killed myself tonight, why would it matter? I’m one of many so it wouldn’t cause any damage. the world wouldn’t stop so why dont I just do it? how much damage will really be done? not much. the thing is, I’m scared of what will happen if I don’t go through with it. […]
I have become a caffeine addict for the reason that it is easier to tell myself that the unrest and disquiet I feel comes from a chemical stimulus rather than that my own body is unable to chemically stabilize itself. Â It, so far, is keeping me alive. Â Maybe if I can lie to myself, tell myself that this urge to cut, to die, is due to me drinking too much coffee, then I can stay here a little longer?
Dang, I haven’t been on here in forever, it brings back so many memories! I see there’s a lot of new additions to this site. Nice to see some new faces. Erm. Uh. You know what I mean. Anyway, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d update on the depression status.
My parents found out that I had been cutting, and they took my knife, blades, safety pins, and lighters away. I haven’t cut in 2 months and 3 days. I have never wanted to cut this badly before. My scars all look like those really cool white ink tattoos and you […]
So I haven’t been here on SP for 1,5 month I guess. It’s because I’m doing really bad. In that time I quitted school, had an intake with 2 mental health institutions, going to start therapy next week, got a cat (it’s really a sweetheart and I’m so glad my parents agreed with a pet), and yeah, the only thing I do is sleeping and sitting. Not going outside anymore, see nobody. Actually I have no life anymore. And the thing is: I don’t give a f*cking shit, I don’t care.
Last week, I grabbed my knife and started to cut, made a cut on […]
It was exhilarating. It hurt alot, but it also somehow felt really good. My heart started racing, my anxiety suddenly kicked in, what a strange yet incredible feeling! How was I so blind? I always thought people who cut themselves were insane, but this is awesome! I can’t stop now! G’day to you, my friends. Imma keep at it! So wish me luck!