i have had a very dangerous and sad life; when i was younger my father was abusing me, he abused me sexually, physically, emotionally, and mentally. he ruined my life, and made me not trust other males. He not only abused me but he abused my mother to, except he only abused her mentally and emotionally.
When he started up agan (metally and emotionally abusing me) i started feeling very lonely, sad, alone, i just hated myself and my life. i was always teased by eevryone during school and i started believeing what they were saying about me, which was *****, slut, horror, acme […]
Tag:
Cutting
When I went to my professor after class today, I was going to ask for advice. Out of the five classes I’m taking this semester, I’m only passing one. I knew I made some mistakes or I wouldn’t have been asking for help. Well, instead of getting advice, I got lectured. It wasn’t a nasty lecture, but it was one of those that comes from a really sweet teacher, but has a stern voice, so you know she’s upset with you. And it was along the lines of being told that I’m blaming my son and everyone else for my problems. And to add insult […]
I’m 19 years old and I’m a cutter.
I’ve never kept friends very long and I can’t remember my last real ‘happy’ day.
My brother died on me five years ago and today wou’dve been his 21st birthday.
I currently have one true ond only friend only she gets angry and completely shuts down when she sees my cuts. I don’t do it for attention and I don’t even mean for her to see them. It just happens. Like when I’m changing or If I’ve just gotten out of the shower.
I just need someone to understand I guess.
This all really started 9/30/09 when my boyfriend commited suicide wich makes 2people in my live dead my brother and boyfriend. I have always been depressed since my brother but after my boyfriend was gone that hit the button and i took amidate action i started cutting my self and i recently last wednesday tried to overdose on sleeping pills but i ended up in the hospitall. i have a new boyfriend and he has depression problems as i do and we both are trying to stay strong but it is hard though being at home where no one likes me and then even being outside […]
I’m not sure how to really do this but here I go:
My senior year of high school was the worst year ever. I was struggling in my classes, it wasn’t looking like I was going to graduate, my parents were constantly disappointed in me, tellling me to grow up, and I had few actual friends. My stress level day after day just kept rising and rising, until it hit the point where I had to cause pain to myself to lower it. I started cutting myself. For a while the cutting really helped. Then a friend saw the cuts and freaked out. She went around […]
my close friend nick has recently ODed on prescription drugs. he first told me that he thought it would help his headache if he took a few extra, but that was before i found out he did it on purpose. usually nick is full of energy sure, but he also has an addiction to burning his body and also cutting gashes into his palms. as i am a cutter, yes i admit.. but it just makes me upset knowing nick ruins his beautiful body and has trouble telling me why. i completely respect this, as he doesn’t see his father, and his mother has told […]
I’m new here. But I’m not new to the concept. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of cutting. I’m tired of pulling my hair out in frustration. I’m tired of being hated. I’m tired of walking into a room and wanting to run out for fear of people thinking I’m crazy or annoying.
I hate me.
I’m a 19 year old girl in college persuing an astrophysics and math double major. Yeah, I know. Same reaction I get from everyone. “Do you have some sort of death wish!?” If they only knew the truth in that question.
I’m not going to list the reasons that I feel sorry […]
So, i guess i’m here.. just to share with you my experience..
I guess the stress of sports, losing friends, family, and getting my heartbroken over and over.. got to me.. I started cutting, which was a big mistake.. I know that, and i’m done doing that now.. One night, i couldn’t handle anything anymore.. I ran to the bathroom crying my eyes out.. I locked the doorbehind me, and grabbed a blade, and slashed my arm.. I kept cutting up my arm, slashing it, over and over.. Telling myself what a fuck up i am.. And how it was all my fault.. Each cut, deeper […]
I look back at my life and I realize there a lot of things that have happened in my life and I’m not sure why. My dad left us. I had a childhood infatuation with a boy who liked my best friend. MY grandpa fell sick. Mom and I moved back in with Dad, and Dad is always trashing me, telling me ot b more useful. MY grandpa died. I got addicted to cutting. I tried swallowing too many pills. I tried drugs. I survived. I fell in love with a guy who liked another. He now tells me not to trust anyone, after I […]
  Hi, I’m Daniel and I’m new here…and well I’ve been thinking about killing myself as of today. And it’s not like I just decided to kill myself because of a sudden mood swing, I’ve really thought about this long and hard for several years. I’m not asking for you to sympathize with me, I just want people to lsiten for once.
   Well to sum it up, I was bullied on my first day of high school which ended up lasting for several years untill all of the verbal, physical and sexual harrassement stopped during the second semester of grade 11. I was laughed at, teased about my looks and […]
Don’t bother trying to save me
Just let me be
I don’t need you anymore
So please shut the door
And walk away
I’ll see you again someday
I know it’s dumb
But IÂ wanna be numb
I’m tired of hurting for you
So sick of trying, too
I’m sick of trying to hold on
When all hope is gone
I’ll let it all go tonight
I’ll give up the fight
The stains on my shirt
This addiction to hurt
I can’t take it
I’m weak and I hate it
The blade at my wrist
IÂ just can’t resist
I’m weak and I hate it
The blade at my wrist
I […]
I don’t know how to live the “right” type of life. To me, living hurts. Dying is simple. To die, all you have to do is stop. To live, you have to do everything. Somebody told me that every breath you take is a choice. If that’s the case, I’m going to stop breathing. That’s my choice. To be or not to be? I choose to not. I’m tired of living. I have chosen how I want to go; I just need a place and a time. I’m waiting but we’ll see. I know that nobody should want to die, but I do. That’s what […]
I just posted something earlier on how I stopped cutting three years ago but started again today. Well, I was talking to some friends about it but I didn’t tell them that I started cutting again. You see, my friends and family are the type that judge your every move. If you make a mistake, they won’t forget about it. I’m just tired of living up to their expectations all the damn time. Why can’t they just accept me for who I am? I’m constantly trying to change myself to please them. I was overweight and they didn’t like it so I lost 50 pounds […]
I stopped cutting three years ago; three years ago today. However, I find myself today, picking up a razor and taking a field trip on my arms. I thought I stopped for good but today when I picked up that razor and started cutting again, it felt so good. I hadn’t realized how much I missed it until today. I know my family relationship will be ruined if they find out that I’m at it again and I’m afraid of losing my boyfriend. I know I have to stop but it never felt so good before. I don’t think I can.
No one is going to read this. I don’t know why I came back here to this website. I figured I never would after I found it the first time, but here I go again… This is exactly like when I found out I was pregnant, to a T; I was going to end my life, but then, an opportunity presented itself. I saw what might be a reason to live. Judging by before, assuming that the past paints a pretty good portrait of the future, I’ll be worse off than before. If I had gone through with everything before, I wouldn’t be hurting this way […]
I’m not entirely sure what I’m thinking by posting this. I’ve kept to myself for all this time, no one is going to read this, and no one on here cares anymore than anyone around here. I mean, people say the words, but they don’t really mean them. You can hear, “I DO care about you!” but as soon as they say that, they’re off doing something else. But I guess if I’ve come this far, if I typed the words on the search engine that led me to this website, if this really is some low blow at getting suicidal people reported, whatever the reason […]
Ever since my mom died when i was 14 i’ve been depressed. I was a momma’s girl, i slept in the bed with her till i was 12. Alot of things happened to me as a child. My father left when i was 3 and I was molested by a friend of the family when i was 8. I remember being really shy as a child and scared of everyone and everything. I was constantly teased by my older sisters for being so cringy and i’d cry. Then one friday morning, after fighting a long battle of breast cancer, my mother died in her bedroom. When she died noone even acknowledged my presence. […]
 I think it all happened in seventh grade. I met this wonderful girl, her name was Patricia. I first met her in drama class, she had brought this razor to class and was cutting up her notebook. All I could think of was the razor I played with last night cutting into my wrists again and again. I slowly fell for her, she didn’t even help me up. I was so near to telling her how I had felt, but she told me about this guy, they were going out and she was inlove with him. . . She tore my heart out, squised it […]
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