My life has been hard, I mean a life of abuse and neglect really messes with a person. But it’s not my life that I hate and want to end its me it’s my brain, I’ve been diagnosed with depression, eating disorders & anxiety. I self harm a lot. Anyway my head will never shutup it’s like I have a voice in my head telling me to give up telling me I’m fat and ugly and pointless and worthless. You see it’s not my life or even the people in it that I want to get away from, it’s myself I can’t live with myself.. […]
Tag:
Depression
Back to the beginning…
What the hell is wrong with me…
I can’t do anything right anymore…
I don’t want to live anymore.
I don’t care if I’m 16,
I don’t want to know what’s gonna happen down the road.
Nothing good is gonna come out of me in my future.
I was suppose to die as an infant anyways…
All I do is screw up…
My depression gets worse and worse everyday…
Everytime I screw up…
I’m done…
I don’t know what else to do…
I hate feeling the way that ”we” do. I hate feeling so sad and lonely all the time. I hate having to pretend all the time, transforming myself into someone else in order to “fit in” and be liked. I just want to let it all out, let the darkness take over and let the world see how depressed and messed up i really am.
I was raped many times by my older brother when i was younger. But i was so young that i didn’t know what rape was, and so i i thought it was okay what my brother made me do and […]
It’s been a while since I’ve wrote anything, let alone posted anything… I think December was the last time I posted? I’m too lazy to check (even though it is a few clicks). I’ve been a diagnosed depression patient for almost 5 years now, dunno how long I’ve actually been depressed for though, seems like it’s been for a good chunk of my life though
There was a certain moment in my life when I reallyy really wanted to kill myself. And then there was those other moments when I was really close to that… though even in my most jaded of times, I still had some sliver […]
Life seems to be getting harder and harder to live. Emotionally I feel destroyed. Sometimes I don’t think that I can go on. I feel like my life is a mess because of the decisions that I have made. It hurts so bad. I have a young son that depends on me. He needs me but I feel worthless. I don’t think I can take anymore heartbreak, nor do I want to. I havn’t felt joy in so long. My depression stays with me day and night. I feel like the walking dead and that I’m being punished or something. I want to live […]
for about 5 years now i have had a struggle with depression, and only in the past 2 years or so have people found out about it. i’ve attempted to kill myself several times but never found the strangth to do it.
when people first found out about my depression they where absolutely shocked. It didn’t make sense to them, i was always the one helping other people with their problems. Hell i wanted to be a social worker or child psychologist for the sole reason of helping people with those problems. But now…. now everything just looks bleak.
today after a fairly minor argument […]
So back to the me showinq my social worker my scars.Well now I showed my scars to my caseworker and he’s basically tellinq me that If I’m not qoinq to the hospital that I should qo to depression meetinq’s/qroups If there Is any.Do any of yall attend qroups for depresion?I really wanna qo so I can qo back to school and learn Instead of start smokinq In the morninq.Next week I’m qoinq to see my theropist to see any other alternatives.So to my oriqinal question does anyone qo any depression qroups???
I am feeling so depressed that it seems the only way to relieve the depression will be to commit suicide. I don’t want to die but there is nothing I find joy in despite having so many things to be happy about. My body constantly heats up and I get cold sweats. I cannot take it anymore.
It seems on this web site I am in good company as the comments I have read here I can relate to and it’s been so long since I could relate to anything. Â I have been on anti depressants for 10 years. The last few weeks I have hit the end of my rope. Â I cannot cope. Â I am now planning my suicide which will most likely be an overdose and it is the only thought I can gleam comfort from, the knowledge that my destiny is in my control and that all the fighting will soon be over. Â I have 3 children and they […]
Its been a while since ive written here, I’m writing this on a notepad on the bus but I assume a lot has changed, I’d like to meet some of the new guys here.
But, anyway.. Reason for posting, it’s not really so much about me, there’s just a shitload of stress happening to people around me. My best friend is having the shittiest year at school right now and I feel really bad for her, which is nothing I’d be doing a year ago, but ive gotten different too. I guess life has been gotten more boring and I’ve woken up and started caring about […]
So i just got out of the hospital for overdose about two days ago. Actually it wasnt the hospital it was the er. I spent most of my time there in four point restraints since i kept trying to leave. The only reason i wanted to leave was because i hate being in the crazy section of the er cause thats were the gaurds are and there not so nice. Then they put moved me next to a baby getting a spinal tap in case you dont know what that is its a needle in your spine i still hear the screaming in my […]
I’ve probably had depression my whole life. It runs in my family, and I was diagnosed at age 13. I am now 18. When I was 13 years old and in the eighth grade, my mom passed away unexpectedly on the morning of Christmas Eve. I began seeing therapists, but it was too soon and I got frustrated and was not getting the help I needed. The very same day I lost my mom, I was forced out of my house by the police. My father, brother, and I had to find somewhere else to live. We moved 5 times between Christmas 2006 and May […]
What society and God expects of me is hard. i don’t know if i can bear this burden, but no matter how sad i get i cannot give up.
I talk to people everyday who say things like i must be strong, i musnt cry and i must not be scared or worried. They try so hard to fight there feelings it leaves them exausted and in an even worse position.
If you feel like crying, then cry. When there are no more tears you can move forward.
If you feel like Screaming, then scream. When your throat is sore or your lungs give out, you can reflect.
Those feelings that we get, thats our body and mind trying to heal its self, dont resist it, just let yourself feel.
Feeling is healing…
I hope everyone is doing ok. […]
My family can’t seem to grasp the fact that I have a problem. They all think that I am making myself sad and basically faking everything. For what? I have no idea. Maybe they think I’m trying to get attention or to be rebellious. I am, however, 100% clinically depressed and in no way “faking” this or making myself sad. If I liked being sad, why would I be constantly thinking about suicide? I would try to stay here as long as possible to wallow in my own self pity, but I want to leave as soon as possible. I went to see a therapist, and […]
i want to disappear, forever. it’s been a year, the most agonizing and painfully slow year of my life. i should be better, but i’m not.
recently, i was admitted into a psychiatric unit as an inpatient. i was on suicide watch. they locked me in a room and had a police guard sitting outside my door. then i was diagnosed with depression and borderline personality disorder. i had to call my mom. she cried. it hurt.
i cut. i hate myself. i hate my elephant body. i count calories meticulously, but i also go on terrible binges. i purge. my sad bouts get progressively worse. i […]
I don’t know what to do guys, everytime i get upset i get suicidal thoughts. I know I have depression but accepting it and trying to treat it isn’t helping me. The thought of anti depressants make me more upset. I hate that I can go around and see so many people normal and then there’s me. Half the people around me are clueless of what I have and sometimes I wish they know so maybe they could talk me out of the thoughts I have. But as if i’d go up to someone and ask for help? I just can’t. I’ve tried telling people […]
No idea what to put as the title, so oh well.
I’m not 100% sure why I’m posting stuff up here, but sometimes, when you know you can’t go into it with anyone else, it just becomes a “What the heck, why not?” moment.
Now, just for a summary of things, I’m 23. I’m not prone to depression as a relative mental issue, nor am I prone to actual suicidal considerations or tendencies. The last time I even had a properly suicidal thought was in my mid teens, during a period in my life when everything was going completely in the dumper, after a half decade of […]
So I’m only 14 and I wana die already.
Yeah ihave a boyfriend and friends but you know depression and everything has just been crazy latley. I hate my family and that’s the main reason why I’ve been raped by one of my brothers beeatenn starved anything I’ve been thru it you think your life is hard walk a mile in mine and see how you feek see how it feels to be made fun of and laightex at how it feels to be called fake and a whore a ***** walk a mile in my shoes than judge me for who I am but […]
Crying, I sat on the edge of my bed. 4 guys texting me, but all they wanted was sex. Â Surely I’d be used to it by now. I’m not a human to them, I’m a toy, easily replaced.
Hi, I’m a 16 year old girl. In a way, I feel average. I think every teenager goes through this depression of feeling unloved, unwanted, and ultimately rejected. I feel like I can’t handle it. Walking through school, i can hear kids whispering, “gross” “i hear she smokes pot” “You remember the time she farted in 4th period? so gross” “slut” “smells like poor”….. i could go on. […]