Listening to the music that I did when I cut, is like revisiting a dream you haven’t dreamnt. It seems so familiar, yet you aren’t sure it even happened becuz, well for whatever reason.
Clothes is the same thing.
And remembering cutting, is just so weird.
Its like someone was filming me but through my eyes, and I watch that movie. Not remember the memorie.
Anything cutting or depression related is like that.
Im so hurt at the moment… I lost my virginity to a 24 year old guy I’ve only known a month. Im 18, I made a promise to myself I would wait til marriage to have sex. It was important to me, it meant something. I’ve been this good girl my whole life, I rarely date. I would never do something like that, but I did…. I would barely let a boyfriend kiss me. I guess for the past year I’ve been in a spiral downfall and depression. My mom all my brothers moved, and I was left in this town. I’m still in high […]
I don’t really know what to name this post. By the time I finish posting it’ll be past midnight. At night is when my mind is most active. I think about the same shit over and over and it continually replays in my head. I hate having memories. I have an excel one and I feel cursed by it. I just want to go back in time or start my life completely over. I’ve always felt this way. I can’t envision my future at all. It’s like it isn’t even there. I just wish I could get a break through. Just once i wish something […]
Maybe it’s time for you to get out of my life
Pick up the knife
Carve you away, carve you outta sight
Leave me alone during the night
Let me finally fight
Against the Power of Love.
But since you got me in the palm of your hand
At a checkmate we stand
Neither one moving because neither of us can
Neither of us knowing what we’re doing
We just keep kicking up sand
To win the fight against the Power of Love.
But to win the fight
Against the Power of Love
Both have to be strong
And I guess my love isn’t enough.
Only one can win
The other left to pain
Pain and depression
Happening again and again.
And for us it’s […]
I thought you cared
But I was dead wrong,
You sent me back to depression
Back where I belong.
You said I had a chance
But there wasn’t anything but pain,
The pain of you playing with my heart
And me losing again.
And now I guess you’re done
And I’m left with all these pieces,
Of my broken heart, broken again
And you’re saying you don’t need them.
Well, I guess I’ll rebuild
Because I’m not giving up,
Someone will come along
Who will give me true love.
You just used me
You never cared,
And now that I’m realizing it
Love wasn’t what we shared.
We shared master and slave
Slave of love for you to use,
When you were down
I was who you’d choose.
But […]
Well. I’m only fifteen, and already I want my life to end. Ever since I was eight years old, my life has been a mess. My parents divorce was the spark of everything. I’ve been depressed for seven years, but the past two years it’s been hitting me hard. Every night I cry, wanting it to end. I use to pray to God to kill me in my sleep or to let me have at least one good day. I got neither, and gave up my faith. I wake up every morning, wondering why I even bother getting out of bed. I can’t find one […]
Im done with the pain. I’m sick of feeling like a failure. 35, live in my parents basement, hate my terrible job and boss, have no money and make no money. My depression has gotten in way of my shitty job and I’ll probably be fired when I go in on Tuesday. Everyone wants to tell me my life is going to get better. life has never been happy and good. I just dont see life getting better for a depressed cook who’s 35, single, making shit, and lives in his parents basement.
I expected life to get better when I quit drinking […]
Hi, let me start by saying that I am NOT suicidal. However, I have tried to commit suicide when I was younger a few times, but, I never actually tried to where it’d actually put so much as a scratch on me. I also often want to die… But honestly, I just don’t have the balls to do anything… And I also thought about if, I fail, and wake up in a hospital, get better, have to go to therapy, people ask me questions, all that shit would piss me off.
Anyway, what I came here for is to have a place to rant and just […]
Truth, I’m here for a school project of my choice. Truth, I may have caused an attempted suicide and I fell for the friend who’s father shot himself on christmas…his life’s fucked up. Truth, I have nothing to complain about, I don’t get raped, I have two parents(stepdad but whatever) that love me and feed me and give me a roof over my head, I don’t live in a thrid world country, I’m going to get a higher education, and yet scary thoughts or thinking of lame relationships get me down…some memories or places trigger depression yet i havent been diagnosed…i guess i don’t need […]
Hi,
 I’m looking for someone to talk to about depression and suical thoughts. I’m very compassionate, caring and supportive. I believe we all need someone to listen to us and to talk to about our miserable lives. I’m a good listener. No thanks to anyone religious, I’m not. No one bipoar because they have manic stages and no longer care about a depressed person. I’ve learned that lesson the hard way. No one married with children because it will just remind me I have no family of my own. I’ve attempted suicide many times and, obviously, am a failure at that just like in all aspects of […]
((sorry that this is song long… p.s i hav the tendency to write “have” as “hav” and “back” as “bac” and “you” as “yu”))
I’m new to this site. The fact that I found it by accident or fate I hav no clue yet. I might as well start writing because it seems that it does help at least from what friends hav told me to do. I’m taking their advice to figure things out and try to help myself through things that I do go through and think negatively about.
Where to begin… well I hav tried to commit suicide before by cutting and taking […]
My family read my diary, which described all the details of my sadness and my wish to die. I am now on lock-down. They don’t want to leave me alone and I am being pushed toward hospitalization. I now have to move out of my sister’s house because she fears for her children’s safety, not really mine.
So,
I’m looking for a place to live, but I honestly want to be done with this. I have no where to go and no on wants to claim me. I’m pretty sure no one cares about me and the one person I thought I could count on made me […]
I’ve always managed my depression very well. But recently over the last 4 months I have just seemed to sink lower and lower. Now I know it probably hasn’t helped I’ve bottled up my feelings in the past.
But anyway the main problem is I’ve lost my smile, confidence and my ability to interact socially.
See about ten years ago I was a very recluse person and if I did go out I was always a loner. Then I met my best mate and he brought the best out of me.
Now ten years later he now lives in a different town and I’ve started […]
I don’t want to live anymore, but at the same time I’m just so scared of dying. I’ve never tried to commit suicide before but I have been thinking about it for awhile now. It’s like my whole life is just a one big mistake. Almost every classmate of mine hates me and I don’t even know why, I’ll never be good enough for my parents, it seems like all they want is for me to be perfect but I can’t give them that. I’m failing school and my parents are mad at me for that, they think that I’m not even trying but I […]
My suicide story isn’t base on a single dramatic occurrence or a series of bad hands dealt to me by life, like so many have posted concerning their suicide stories. Like many (if not all) here I have been dealing with deep depression, manic mood swings, and suicidal thoughts on a daily basis, that at times feels all consuming. Again, my path to suicide wasn’t due to a traumatic event but rather a fucking series of mundane, minutiae life events that have led me to deciding to off myself at the end of lackluster, Loserville 25 year bullshit life. All my life I haven’t amounted […]
one day for sure. i will. i will die at my own hands. Why shouldn’t we be able to pick when we want to die? I think we should. Its our owN life not someone elses. We wouldn’t be harming anyone. Only temporarily. I want to die so bad sometimes. I hate when people(teachers mostly for me) mention suicide and laugh about it and stuff. I Hate that. They shouldn’t be saying things that can hurt someone emotionally. I get affected by people who say certain things. Maybe its just because I have the desire to die and I’d actually consider myself suicidal. But I […]
Well I talked with my ex today, a very heavy conversation… one that (sadly) but also good i guess if the ideal situation is achieved after this point, saved me from myself today. While I didn’t really push or care what her response was, she randomly threw me a bone, the very chance I wished came a lot earlier. Minimal contact for 2 months, and at the end, we will reconvene with different perspectives on where to go from there, i am feeling this is a 50/50 chance right now that it does come with the results i wish. While I am also hating that […]
Chapter Two of my story, which began with, “On Wednesday Night, I broke.”
On Friday, December 2, I attempted suicide. I hung myself by my neck with a cable TV coax strung through a metal shelf. I failed, because I was startled by an unexpected sensation of falling. I told my wife, and she called my mother, and the two of them put me on a sort of informal “suicide watch”. This is what happened after that.
On Sunday, my mother came over and spent most of the day with me. She’s a former cop and detective sergeant in the […]
I’m not the kind of person to tell someone about my bad day. Or how shitty and downhill my life’s going. I’m not the kind of person that can tell you that suicide crosses my mind everyday. I dont want to end up in a mental hospital, but i know i am crazy. I have fallen so far in this deep hole called depression that is overloaded with dirt and is slowly suffocating me. What are you supposed to do when that happens? I hate my life, and i’m still so very young. I smoke cigarettes, and weed, and nothing will ever escape me from this […]
i am married 33yrs old and i have lovely children, i have a deep depression and i was also attacked in may, my husband blames me, i cant trust him as it was his brother who attacked me, for the first time ever i actually ended up in the mental unit 4 time in the last few months, life is unbearable, my husband is a liar protecting his brother, i took over doses and survived and i tried hangin my self but was brought round  unconsious by my husband, i cry every day i have lost all trust and hope , what can i do? […]
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