Well.

I’m by no means a expert in depression and suicidal patterns, but your story interests me because you say nobody will care if you just disappear. However, you mention of having friends which I assume would make your life worth living for….unless these friends you are talking about are really not your “true” friends. I think you need to surrond yourself with friends who are not so negative about life. And when life sucks, just do something you enjoy. I too have been in a similar situation as yourself except for the parents divorcing part. I had my own methods of trying to kill myself (eg. poisoning myself) and praying to god to kill me in my sleep. I too have lost a lot of faith that god exists and cares for us….however, at the end of the day we just need to battle on. Nobody said life is fair. Nobody said life is easy. Life has its many uphill and downhill battles, but it definitely is worth living for. Your only 15 years old! You need to be patient for the good things that will happen later in life. You did not explain in good detail what caused your depression, but if it has to do with the inconsiderate peers at your school, trust me….junior high and highschool kids are immature. Wait till university/colleage and those so called “cool” kids will be made fun of for acting so immature. You will find a marked difference in attitudes and may be able to get along with a good set of friends. Afterall, why would you want to associate yourself with a “cool” kid who probably doesn’t even study and have a uneventful life. Heck, they may look up to you in the future. And, never ever let god go. You must acknowledge that many people in the bible suffered much more than you have and had to wait 30+ years to finally be blessed. God has not forgotten you. Your time will come.