Tag:

different

What Would Happen?

by FreakOfNature 3/1/2015

written by FreakOfNature

I know I want to leave this life and all, but I’m scared of what will happen after I die..

In the family I grew up in and what I’ve been taught and so on, is that if there is indeed a god, he would send you to hell for taking your own life. In different religions it’s different outcomes, but what if I do take my life and I do get sent to hell..i’d be forced to keep reliving my life. The life i’m trying to get away from.

I always thought if there was a god, and if you did take your life, he would […]

3/1/2015 2 comments

I wish I had been someone different.

by thehusk 2/25/2015

written by thehusk

I want somebody to be with. I don’t deserve it. Right now it feels like I have no chance with anyone. But that doesn’t stop me wanting it.

I’ve completely fucked up my life, beyond repair. But that doesn’t stop me obsessing over what could have been.

I signed up to an online dating site, more from desperation than anything. The matchmaking system threw up a woman who seems ideal – warm, nice-looking, geeky, down to earth, clever, quirky. I keep looking at her profile, re-reading her answers to questions, wanting to message her. But what would I say?

‘Hi, you seem like just the kind of woman […]

2/25/2015 5 comments

A Different Approach

by Matt 2/25/2015

written by Matt

Is it possible to take a different approach to suicide?

Is it possible to come up with a radically different outlook completely on your own?

Is it possible to truly change?

Is it possible to put the past in the past, where it belongs?

its not possible

2/25/2015 6 comments

Meh

by Remnant The Unbroken 2/23/2015

written by Remnant The Unbroken

so I’ve been thinking about going on disability for a while, until I can get my shit together. I’m going to be 21 in a few months…and because I don’t have a job, all my help will come to a halt. And God knows if that happens I’m lost for good. And I can’t handle a lot right now. I get overwhelmed very easily. Just thinking about going on disability for a while makes me feel even more incapable then I already do.

On a different note…

Has anyone considered suicide by cop? I’ve been thinking about it.

2/23/2015 11 comments

Don’t You Dare Define Me

by Matt 2/23/2015

written by Matt

Who’s to say the way that I think is wrong?

It may be different to you, but why is different wrong?

Maybe I’m a step above you on the evolutionary tree.

Compassion is a trait commonly found in the losing side.

“Have you thought about harming anyone besides yourself?” Frequently.

“What do these thoughts consist of?” I want to know what their insides look like on the outside.

The disgust in your eyes. The way your lip curls without you even noticing.

I’m what you’d look like if you didn’t care so damned much.

don’t you dare label me

2/23/2015 0 comment

Do You Do This?

by Matt 2/17/2015

written by Matt

Does anyone else have conversations with people who are long gone?

I mean, I’m doing it all the time now. I’m not even thinking up the other side of the conversation in my head, it just comes out, reply after reply after reply to ghosts. To an outsider listening to me, they’d assume I was just on the phone.

I’ve had different variations of the last fight I ever had with him. Versions where I was on the defensive, versions where I attacked… Why did I have to stay silent when it really mattered?

If I’d spoken up when you asked me to leave and not come back, […]

2/17/2015 1 comment

A dead future

by Lsari 2/6/2015

written by Lsari

It is a strange thing to look back upon one’s past and find that all the hopeless despair that one had envisioned for one’s self, to be found true. Worse still, to be it greater.

My first memories were from when I was 7 years old. Ever since then I have regularly wanted to die. Without break or pause, that sentiment has held as true as the flesh on my body (as scared as it may be). I had long since, premonitioned my demise and I can’t help but feel abhorrent at its truth.

I can’t even begin to describe the shear loneliness and despair that has consumed me. It […]

2/6/2015 5 comments

I’m incapable?

by lonewolf23 2/5/2015

written by lonewolf23

I think I’m going down a dark path again…………..Just when things seemed like they were gonna get better…..F***!!!…..this always happens. One problem ends and then another arises, one problem ends and then another arises!. It’s an endless cycle. I wish I could know that things were gonna get better but I just can’t see it. All I see are the 4 walls and the ceiling of my apartment everyday; nothing else besides that and school; which is barely any different. I just want something to change. The only time that I really get to truly enjoy myself is when I’m at lunch with these five other […]

2/5/2015 2 comments

Still in a Dark Place

by the12thdreamcatcher 2/4/2015

written by the12thdreamcatcher

Hi, this is my first post, so I thought I should tell you guys about my story…….

My parents both are a little messed up, my mother has OCD and Major Depressive Disorder. My dad has PTSD, that has made him turn to drug addiction. My parents both smoke marajuana (which is sadly, legal in our state) and that ended in my siblings and I being split up and put in different various foster homes. Since about two years ago I started self-harming (burning) and I have had two suicide attempts. After my first suicide attempt my families court case got closed and everyone returned home. […]

2/4/2015 1 comment

Bravery is different for us all…

by theforgottenfew 2/4/2015

written by theforgottenfew

“There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater.

But sometimes it doesn’t.

Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life.”
Veronica Roth, Insurgent #3

This passage resonates so deeply in me.

2/4/2015 15 comments

Basement.

by dustedhoffman 1/28/2015

written by dustedhoffman

If it all worked out we would live in a different house.
We would live in a different town.
This is a brand new start; clear body, broken heart.
I’ll come visit you when I get the chance.

Breathing’s not easy when you’re underwater.
I am drowning and you’re keeping me under.

Close your eyes, sleep outside. it’s warmer than in here.
I’ll be fine, I’ll run and hide. I wish I could stay here.

You’re still in my head. my mind’s convinced that you never left.
I’m counting down till I see you next.
I still compare everything to your silhouette.
How can I forget what is […]

1/28/2015 2 comments

lost

by beautifulbydefault 1/19/2015

written by beautifulbydefault

I have never felt like I belonged. I’m different. I’m not weird or anything but I have no interests in life. I never have. I have always felt alone even when I’m with somebody. I stay here because I have responsibilities. Everyday I come closer to just ending it all. I have bad days and then I have really bad days. Nobody understands me, so I pretend to be content with my life to make it easier on my family. Inside I’m dying. I’m suffering. Life wasn’t meant to be lived by me I have known this since I was 12. I am not meant […]

1/19/2015 1 comment

Weak Link

by 12ccht 12/26/2014

written by 12ccht

I haven’t killed myself because my entire family is going through rough times, a death would only set them back that much more. This house is falling apart, literally, and everyone in it suffers daily. How selfish would they think i was if i took my life? Why would that matter? I’d be dead. No one could tell me anything because I’d be erased and that’s what I want. But thats not what im allowed to do, even in death I’m a burden. I never thought I’d be this young and want to die as much as I do. I can’t believe how […]

12/26/2014 1 comment

Does therapy work?

by hopeisafourletterword 12/18/2014

written by hopeisafourletterword

For anyone who has seen a psychiatrist, therapist, etc, what have they done for you? Does it really make you feel that much better? Or do you have to go on meds to feel any different?

12/18/2014 9 comments

When the sun sets

by boyblue 12/15/2014

written by boyblue

I fucking hate. I’m just a person full of hate and bitterness. I just can’t stand that fact. It feels like I’m the only person who actually sees things for what they are. People around me just don’t get it, everyone is just so generic it feels no one bothers to look all around them. Everyone thinks the same now and no one thinks differently. If your different than people will hate you, if your the same people will adore you. Why should I strive to be like everyone else? I’m different and alone. I have seen the true colors of everyone. People just want […]

12/15/2014 1 comment

I hate today and I’ll hate tomorrow.

by boyblue 12/14/2014

written by boyblue

I hate the feelings I have. Its the worst. Everyday is the same lonely day. I don’t trust people their all the same. Everyone is ether boring or uninterested and no one is the same anymore. I feel so different from everyone else. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one who’s alive and everyone else is dead, and sometimes it feels like I’m dead and everyone else is living. Should I exist at all? I feel like I really shouldn’t at times. I don’t feel like I should even be here anymore I’m so sick of the same people and the same conversation, I just […]

12/14/2014 2 comments

Had Enough

by emm12 12/13/2014

written by emm12

I’m at breaking point again. I fell off the rails big time 2 years ago after I was sexually assaulted twice by two different people in 3 months. It took me a while to get back on my feet. I have been to see psychologists and councillors all of which who have different diagnosis and long waiting lists. I thought I could do this by myself but I can’t, whenever I am reminded of either assault in any way I freak out. I’m scared all the time, I’m scared of boys, I shake all the time, I can’t do public transport, I’m just lost.

I’m 23 […]

12/13/2014 3 comments

Why?

by fififiona 12/9/2014

written by fififiona

My question is always why. Why do I feel this? Why does it have to be me? Why do I feel guilty? Why am I hated? Why am I judged? Why do I act like this? Why did my best friend ditch me? Why am I ugly? Why am I fat? Why do people care if they’ll judge me anyways? Why? Why is the question we ask ourselves everyday. We want an answer. We perceive things different from other, but why? Why can’t I listen to bands such as the Arctic Monkeys? Why am I judged if I am different? Why do I exist? Why […]

12/9/2014 0 comment

I die tonight- Of a Life Wasted

by FailureGirl 12/3/2014

written by FailureGirl

I am one of those hero-to-zero types, and I cannot bear the disappointment and shame I’ve put on my family. I wake up every morning wondering why I am not dead. If I wake up at kike 3 in the morning, I get hit by a tsunami of sadness, because I only have 2 hours before I face the world. Face the ones I have disappointed.

God, 1 year ago, I would have laughed at myself for being so emo. I can’t laugh now.

My father is so disappointed in me; it breaks my heart.

I don’t even know what I’m doing writing this here…I haven’t told anyone, […]

12/3/2014 2 comments

Can you take me higher?

by Namelessqueer 11/29/2014

written by Namelessqueer

Yes Creed.

Still alive folks. worried because I’m struggling not to slide into sadness again. I mean things do feel a bit different now that I’m on meds but I’m starting to think abut death a few times a day instead of one or two. And not always as a joke or an escape.

Started going to church again but it’s weird cuz it’s not the denomination i’m used to but there is a lot of singing and hugs so I’m figuring it out. I’m trying to see if being connected with God or the Universe will make this all feel different.

I constantly have to do lists in […]

11/29/2014 1 comment

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