Let me explain, lately I’ve been having an issue with my compulsive disorder coming back, along with my depression. Thing, is I’m confused as all hell because there’s been no major event to bring about such a radical change in my mental state. I mean, I’ve studied this disorder for a few years now and I’ve gotten a basic understanding on what “kind” I have. Mine was inherited but a major event that happened a few years ago caused a downward spiral to serious depression. Same with my compulsive disorder. I’ve studied well enough to know that another cause besides inheriting a predisposition towards depressive […]
Tag:
disorder
this morning I was called bipolar, they laughed at it and then started mocking me, saying I’m in denial about having bipolar (actually currently being assessed for it and the such like) then another person suggested multiple personality disorder, than the other replied ‘oh that’s you(me) all over, you’re always changing’ and then as we left form class I told them to shut it, but was told ‘mental illness is funny, I find your denial about bipolar amusing’. it hurts, it hurts so much when people say this stuff.
I’d managed to stop relapsing several times, especially after my university counsellor informed my parents of my so called ‘suicidal thoughts’. But that horrible feeling of spiralling down into an endless black hole returned, and I just really don’t know who to go to anymore. I suppose I’ll continue dealing with these shitty feelings. I just really want to know if this is depression or bipolar disorder, or am I just having a bad day. I’ve been having these ‘episodes’ for close to 7 years now, and I’d always thought that everyone felt this way. Now that I realise that it’s not, I just want […]
I don’t know why I came here and decided to do this after all this time. Maybe I have just reached that point of desperation where I am looking for anything to make myself feel better.
It’s probably gonna be a long one, so don’t feel the need to read, this is just me venting.
I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. I just cannot remember any point in my life where I was genuinely happy. I remember at about 8 years of age I used to come home from school and spend the rest of the evening alone, crying. I never […]
Am I Insane? I used to think not, but now I am not so sure..
by PlagueDoctor
written by PlagueDoctor
I used to think that everyone else was fucked in the head and that I was the only normal one. I still think that most everyone is below me, but I am also questioning my own sanity, which has me questioning everything I think I know, and believe.
The other night I had the opportunity to do some research. My Psychiatrist told me that I was mentally ill, I told her that the only mentally ill people were those who had brain damage, everything else was simply weakness. She said that there were two kinds of mental illness, the one I was referring to was organic […]
I’ve been super depressed since 7th grade. I thought about cutting all the time and wanted to kill myself. That’s all I would talk to my friends about, and I lost many because of that. All through high school I have been doing everything I can to get better, but nothing worked. I couldn’t tell my parents because they wouldn’t support me, which means I couldn’t get on medications for it. I was about at breaking point my freshman year of college. I just pushed through until my 18th birthday. I finally got into the doctor to get some medications and was expecting a quick […]
I thought I had posted this last night but don’t see it. I don’t really understand all the SEO stuff but I checked them all. It seems like the most secure thing to do.
Anyway, all I can think of is ending my life here and planning it in terms of finding a few pets other homes, etc. I am older so it’s not like I have “my whole life ahead of me”. Depression/dysthymia with a few major episodes, nervous breakdowns, excruciating pain then surgeries then more excruciating pain, pain meds addiction. Finally managed to get out of pain and thru several Dr.s and bad doctoring […]
Hello everyone, when i first found this place, i thought it was going to give me some painless methods to end it all, and though i am scared of whats on the other side.. ( pagan but not sure). I still felt like my life was just getting to hard for me. It was not a matter of , was i too scared to face it or had lack of support. Its worse then that.
I have Borderline personality disorder, I have dissociative identity disorder, major depressive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, Obsessive compulsive disorder. Social anxiety disorder.
Thus, i am a walking mess and i […]
I’m new here..
I need to spill how i feel: alone. I recently graduated from uni and moved back to LA with my parents. Ive realized that i have no friends. And the few people i believed were my friends dont seem to want to see me. 6 months ago my bf of 6 years broke up with me. Its been so hard to deal with. I guess its better since i was always dragging him down with my sadness. My eating disorder (bulimia) is worse than ever. Ive been this way 7 years. I have been trying to get treatment but the treatment centers are […]
I like lists, here’s “my story” in a list:
1. Decent (but not decent enough) suicide attempt in 2012 (overdose and wrist-cutting). No prior attempt and no attempt since (yet).
2. Spent a while in hospital recovering.
2. Mis-diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
3. Lived in a phyciatric hospital for a few months.
4. Re-diagnosed with major depression and anxiety.
5. Tried all the drugs (citalopram to lithium and all in between).
6. Lost job (and everything else). Unemployed.
7. Fast forward to 2015.
8. Finally back to “living a normal life” (Job, boyfriend, etc.) Not on any medication for a year.
9. Seriously considering suicide again (most likely gassing or hanging). I have a plan […]
… and at the end of my rope. I don’t know where to go or what to do. I have attempted suicide twice and am clearly too inept and too much of a coward to end my life properly. I have been dealing with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts for fifteen years and have been on a variety of medications and have seen three different therapists to try and fix the problem. Today, I was told my feelings were (verbatim) “bullshit”; followed by a laugh and the shake of a head. The appointment ended with her saying “you make me laugh”. Thanks Paula.
I can barely […]
I don’t know if you’ve seen that slam poem, but you should. You know the one by the guy who has bipolar disorder where he says “I think a lot about killing myself, not like a point on a map but rather like a glowing exit sign at a show that’s never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave” and then goes on to talk about the future and make you cry? I watched that poem once and I remember that line sticking with me, always in the back of my head, always there when I was feeling like doing it.
I think my method would […]
Hello everyone. I have been depressed for some time now. I’ve been to the hospital for it and stayed for about a week. I am married and my wife knows of my depression. while in the hospital they said that I have a general mood disorder and bi polar tendencies. With the mood disorder my mood can change in an instant. It can be triggered just by someone getting snippy with me or giving me attitude and I can help it.
The marriage overall has been good. But as of late there is a lot of stress and both of us are depressed. About a week […]
i go to the doctor tuesday, do you think i can be honest without being locked up?
written by Disposable Human
male, 29, 130lbs/58kg
diagnosed: major depressive disorder, ocd, generalized anxiety disorder
prescribed: sertraline 200mg/day, xanax .5mg and zolpidem 10mg as needed
i’m trying to get help from my family physician on tuesday. i was in therapy with a psychologist for a while but stopped going because i couldn’t afford to get help, and support my manipulative ex. we have a son. i attempted during her pregnancy and spent a few days with waived human rights in a psychiatric hospital.
in my relationship i was used for money and hit a lot. there was constant berating and verbal abuse. i’m going through a divorce and don’t really get […]
I’m thinking about taking my own life. My mom is my only family member and tonight we had a bad arguement. I said a lot of really mean things. I feel I was justified in being irritated, even angry, but I shouldn’t have been so mean. One of these arguments happened only 2 weeks ago. I have caused my mom so much pain with the mean things I’ve said over the years. I’ve also put her through so much with my mental and physical health problems. I honestly feel I should have never been born. When these […]
I’m part of a ****** chat room called Crisis-Chat, and most if not all of the users from there, are from here. I was one of the few… okay maybe the only one, to have joined SP AFTER I joined ******. Anyway.
Lots of people post here, lots of people threaten suicide. I seem to do it enough that I might as well post it here for attention, right? I don’t even fucking know what I want to do anymore. I’m tired but I’m not. I’m hungry, but when I eat, I feel sick. My head hurts but its magically fine if I go to take […]
I’ve been through it. The teasing, the yelling, the isolation, the masks, the chronic depression, the eating disorder, the self harm,the diagnosis, the therapy, the suicide attempts. I’ve been through it all and I made it to a point where I was happy with myself, with my surroundings. But there are always the bad days that confuse me. Where I can’t figure out if it’s just a bad day or if its a relapse. Recently I’ve been hounded with stress from school, from family, from friends, from myself. I feel so overwhelmed and I feel myself breaking all over again. I want the stress to […]
Hello Fellas,
I have a very painful story.. My uncles & grandparents betrayed my parents when they were newly married.. They were out of house and money.. My mom has a psychological disorder.. My dad has so many confusing decisions.. My uncles killed my 3 elder Siblings.. I am the younger one and the one and only son of my parents.. By the situations and time.. I saw everything Bad.. Some goodness.. I am in love.. But i cant get her.. Bcz she’s in another country.. I was going kill myself last night by jumping off balcony.. But i saw a news in TV infront of […]
I have a problem. The first step is admitting it, right? That is what they say on TV. So I am going to put on my big boy pants and fess up… I’m addicted to pills. Sleep aids, cough medicine, herbal supplements, antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, anything! Let’s put it this way, if I am taking a walk and see a blister pack on the ground with one mystery pill inside, I have to restrain myself from picking it up. I’ve stolen medication. I’ve taken handfuls of it. I’ve lied to get it. I just can’t seem to stop. But it’s only because I a so […]
Depression has literally ruined my life. My mom doesn’t accept me because of my behavior so I got moved away for my only biological family (my sister) and moved to my dads, which his girlfriend doesn’t accept me because of my behavior and the fact that my dad goes out of his way to help benefit me so that I don’t jump off his balcony. I was a straight A B C student till around 7th grade I lost all motivation but somehow made it to 9th grade and completely failed because I stayed in the bathroom due to the fact that I hated going […]