Hello..
first of all, i tried to suicide two times by taking pills but i just did not die, so i think i will try again with more pills or i will try to buy a gun or whatever, ill find a way to suicide..
i love a girl that won’t ever ever ever love me, and she is my bestfriend in fact, it hurts like hell, i don’t want to love jer but i just do, i had a lot of sleepless nights thinking about her, im pale because of thinking so much, i really cant stop thinking about it and its killing me, […]
Tag:
dont want to
Honestly i just feel like theres no cure to being me. Despite all my good points i feel like my personality is hollow and empty. Because it was pain and trauma that developed, that shaped who i am completely, to the point its all there is inside me. I was molested as a child, abused and harassed for being anorexic or self harming, dealt with poverty and a severely mentally ill mother often by myself when my father was basically out of the picture, grew up isolated (no school, no friends), i’ve been homeless and just so much shit (some i dont want to get […]
‘to live is the rarest thing in the world, most of us just exist’ – the fabulous oscar wilde
litterally on the edge right now. cant stand anymore. i need a way out. i dont want to just exist anymore…
I hate the world we live in, the society we’re built on, and any direction i could take my life in…. I feel like such a disgrace, my life is wonderful! As i type this on my smartphone in my cozy bed in a warm house, my loving parents are probably thinking about me just like i think about them constantly… They shower me in love and gifts and praise, but I DO NOT DERSEVE A FRACTION OF IT! Killing myself would be too harsh for these beautiful, kind individuals, but I feel it would save them from dissapointment and hardships in the future… I […]
i wish everyone could see it that way…my body, my choice. if you were trapped in a hellish world wouldnt you want out?? why do i have to suffer so you dont have to? i hate myself, i hate everything about me. i am sick. i have legitimate diagnosis. why must i have to deal with them for the rest of my life?
yes there are ups and downs, but my downs are so bad and last so long the ups arent worth the pain of the downs. its my body, my choice. i should choose if i want to live or die. my life will […]
since we are not allowed to discuss methods can anyone tell me of a website or something were we can? i dont want to complain about the hell i am stuck in anymore, i need to figure out how i can end this soon since i will probably ruin things somehow for someone the longer i live. i cant do anything right thats been that way since for ever and thats how its going to stay ive come to accept it. what i cant accept is more years of pain 32 is enough. is there groups for people to meet up and help each other […]
I just dont understand, its not that i dont want to, or dont have the will, but, i just want to stay and its so hard… I’m sorry of this is how you guys feel, i really am. I can’t help myself, i can’t save you, i just, well, i cant do anything. I can’t imagine going on like this, not without Makaila, she was my best friend, she was my anchor, she was my everything, but she had to leave us, not on her own choice, she had gotten in a car accident, a little over a month ago, and was dead on […]
im really unsure on what to say anymore. its not like i can go on facebook and talk about what i really want to talk about without alarming the people im close to. i used to be okay. i used to have the ability to turn the pain off at the snap of a finger. now its gone. the switch has been flipped and im unable to turn it off. all i can think about is death and ending the pain. why havent i done it already? i have nothing left to look forward to. the love of my life decided to move across the […]
back again. and again. and again. why won’t it stop?? i wish it would stop coming back. that feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness. the utter lack of happiness. it never leaves, just goes to sleep for awhile. almost 3 years now. but now its back and im scared and alone and i cant get out of this hole. i dont want to be here anymore. please just make it stop. i want out. but i’m trapped in this fucking circle and i cant get away from it. sadness. depression. anger. death. the only things i can count on to never leave
Somehow i always end up back here… back to my blog thats held my darkest secrets. I guess i find some comfort in that sp will always be here to listen. ive turned to tumblr recently which ive been venting on… but on here its different. every time i come on i feel like ive lost a battle; except this time i can truthfully say i dont want to die; i have so much more living to do… but i am so sad. i’m lonely and i hate feeling this way. I feel anxious all the time, i feel helpless, alone and i hate living […]
so i burned myself the other day feel like doing it again cause im not satisfied with the amount of damage.school is also tommorow dont know why im trying again at something im bound to fail at.I want to do good but you cant live in the world if you dont want to live in the world.
I do have good reasons for wanting to leave.My whole family is alive and i dont want to watch them die in the next ten years.I want things to like pause forever and the only way i can do that is by dying.this world is crazy nobody is […]
How sick does one have to be in order to qualify for assisted suicide medications. I really have nothing to live for and am basically a log in my bed. I don’t want to die in pain. I want to be at peace when I go. I was planning on getting Helium tomorrow but I have read that that method fails if not done right. I want it to be successful the first time around and dont want to survive the attempt only to be sick and have an excruciating headache. This isn’t a cry for help or an attempt at getting sympathy. I just […]
Hello, i just really want to tell someone about this, i really do want to kill myself, everyday i feel anxious, depressed, worried, and most recently angry, i was always fine with the idea of suicide, but recently, i screwed things up, i have a great family, i am dating someone, but, i just cant seem to tell anyone about this, i doubt any of them will understand, i am going through a rough point in my life, and i know i can get through it, but i just simply dont want to, i am always afraid my girl will leave me, i dont tell […]
Everyday i wake up and think why am i still here? I don’t want this life. I don’t even know why i feel this way. I just don’t wanna continue on anymore. People say life is too short, but i think its too long. I’ve tried many times to kill myself self harm, drugs, overdosing on alcohol, attempted to jump out of my bedroom window, but nothing has killed me, i think im too scared to kill myself. Everytime i try i think about how much trouble im going to be causing everyone around me the devastation ill leave behind. I like my parents enough […]
So im a little afraid of dying which ive told myself is normal so im okay with that.What i cant figure out is why unlike other times i dont feel sad but i do feel suicidal.It bugs me cause i dont feel much of anything when it comes to emotions other than that fear of not knowing whats after this.Im still going through with it but it would be easier if i was feeling some depression along with it or some anger.Maybe i am empty inside i just dont know.My sisters leaving and i may hurt others if i dont stop my life.Im doing it […]
I need to sort myself out. I cant keep feeling like this… I just feel so irritable every second of the day. I have tears permanently in my eyes, just sitting here doing nothing angers me. But then I have no choice- weather is crap, friends are busy and I honestly dont want to talk to them. I always feel I have to make the effort with all of them, To be happy because if im not it means either being called miserable or having to explain myself when even I dont know whats happening.
Im so passive.
I just want to go back to college. […]
Anyone out there knows if theres a place where you could talk a little more freely about suicide than on SP? I want to be able to talk with serious people on a serious forum about suicide. I’ve been thinking about killing myself for eight years now. I tried once and failed. I dont want to make the same mistake again. If i try it again i dont want to die alone. I had depresion/anxiety/panic attacks frequently for most part of my life. I dont think its gonna get any better. I am alone. I dont have any friends. Why keep trying you know?
Heart Broken peoples please Try to live, change your life style if not you will die mentally or may be you’ll commit suicide like my friend did.
I prefer dont do it just dont PLEASE DONT LISTEN these tracks, they are really killing depressping suicidial song.
Radiohead-
CREEP
MOTION PICTURE
LAST FLOWER
NO SURPRISES
My friend use to listen this song when he got depressed.
One day the girl he loved he lose her he loved her like mad, she was really everything for him. She was the reason he was living, totally broken without her, girl was in love with another boy, but he […]
I cant seem to find words for him…i cant bring my self to ask for anything i want or need..because i have been turned down and hurt so many times before by so many others my mind will not accept that he wont..
when i ask him a question..a serious question that is bothering me.. i know the answer i get is the truth…but i cant bring my mind to trust him.. what will i do if i can never trust him .. how do i get past all this.. i dont want to be alone… i KNOW he will leave me because of my mood […]
i am a junkie, drugs are all i have. my best friend after five years had sex with my gf. i dont want to die. but idk what else to do