I really don’t know what to do. At least I’ve had my life insurance policy for several years. But, the payout is only $100,000 and the family could use more. Over time, I’ve crawled into a deeper, darker hole. I go through the motions, but even that isn’t what it used to be. I used to be able to fake it all much better. Now, my home life and work life are affected and it’s been in a downward spiral for months that is worse than the years prior. Is it better to have my son grow up with a parent who seems depressed and lost […]
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Downward Spiral
This is my 17th year on Earth. I honestly didn’t expect to make it this far, and yet, I have. Over the past couple of years I have tried so many times to get help, sometimes it helps for a little while but I still end up back in the same horrible place. I’m at the point now where I don’t believe that there is any hope for me and I’ve accepted that. I just want to get everything that needs to be done before I die done, that is why I am writing this. I haven’t really shared my story before, I don’t even […]
I’m reaching my breaking point. Last night, I wrote my letter. I plan to do the deed in August. I would do it sooner but I promised a good friend I would help decorate when she moves  in July. Initially, I planned to go out on my 40th bday. You know give myself one last chance to make something of myself and turn this miserable life around but I’m EXHAUSTED –physically, mentally, emotionally.
I got into a good college after high school but I ruined it by dropping out after my junior year. My life has been on a downward spiral ever since then.  I’ve spent the last fifteen […]
Time passes by very quickly so fast that I find it hard to catch up, I’ve always been shy,imaginative,and outgoing at times but in my recent years I find that I spend a lot of time on my own and I never really reveal myself or open up to people though I’ve never really been a kid who’s open with her feelings but I guess I can contribute that to moving a town away and when I do open up to people and tell them how I feel it’s a very strange feeling to me now that I end up regretting it, I truly feel […]
I’m an 17 year old junior in high school right now. I graduate next year. I’ve always been unsure about what I want to do with my life, but I’ve been starting to feel a lot more pressure now that im graduating next year. I don’t know where to go to college, I don’t know what for, and I don’t know even if I want to go. I’ve feel like my life might be headed for an downward spiral. I’m not motivated to do much nowadays, and I don’t think a lot people understand me. I know there are people here that go trough much […]
I really don’t know where to start with this,I often go online an look at other people’s s thoughts about suicidal thoughts as I like too help with advise. Never thinking it would happen too myself recently I have had more an more thought about it as my life seems too be going down a downward spiral. I am male 20 years old list my childhood friend last year he hung himself over difficulties of life and losing him has been torture. I recently lost my job(unjustified)sacking yet no one will listen too me! Was a great job and has broken me too pining of […]
spiral, a downward spiral. those two words: my life. I was going to kill my self, jump off a tower SURPRISE! i pass out and wake up to find out I have cancer (however the hell that works) then I find out that…SURPRISE! the cancer is spreading. (although I have to admit sstarving the cancer has worked a lot so thanks to those who suggessted that) I went back to school and duh, stupid me! I seriously thought they’d leave me alone since I had cancer, maybbe they’d show some sympathy instesd of hate….hell no. Surprise! i have so much anger toward the world inside […]
I just can’t do anything right. My life is just one big downward spiral right now.
I made myself sick today just because I didn’t want to go to school and face my debate squad because I don’t have the work I’m supposed to have done done. Debate has just added a level of stress in my life I don’t need and I can’t quit because I made a commitment to it. It’s ruining me though.
It doesn’t help that I can’t talk to my girlfriend about this. She lives in a different state so I can’t ask her to come over and talk, and […]
I am so done with being here my life is in a constant state of a downward spiral. I’m alone and I can’t take it anymore. Love will never be in my reach I am unlovable and my heart seeks what it shall never have
Kinda new to this, figured i need to share my story with someone, anybody.
by ad123
written by ad123
Ive Dealt with depression ever since middle school, and yes i believe it has gotten progressively worse throughout the years. I was never really the popular person or noticed even when i was at school or at home, and many family issues, i just felt like i was always just around to fill in a needless gap. Ive gotten good at acting like i was fine whether it be to what friends i do have as well as my family, but lately ive just been breaking down and i feel like all im doing is heading toward a downward spiral. My suicidal demon has always […]
I’ve been reading through a lot of posts over the last few days and I have too say get a grip Some of you. I’m 34 years old and reading some of the comments on here you really don’t have a clue. I’ve been there as a 14 year old and the girl that I love so much has split up with me so I slit my wrists. At 15 I got started on by 7 people my own age and all I could do was run away as fast as I could or literally get kicked to death. I was so ashamed to run […]
As the title states, this is my first post. I don’t even know what  to say except that life feels meaningless.
If I wasn’t such a chicken shit I’d probably have offed myself back in college, but I’ve always been too scared to do it.
My depression started like a spiderweb crack– at first, it was isolated, but now it has spread and I feel like I bring misery to everyone who loves me. I lose everyone who gets close to me because they meet me and I seem so great and bubbly and fun to be with, and then they slowly have to watch me sink […]
Would it be wrong, would it be right?
If I took my life tonight,
Chances are that I MIGHT.
Mutilation out of sight,
and I’m contemplating suicide.
I never realized I was spread too thin,
‘Til it was too late and I was empty within.
Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin
Downward spiral, where do I begin?
((It all started when I lost my mother,))
No love for myself and no love for another.
Searching to find a love upon a higher level,
Finding nothing but questions and devils.
I can’t go on living this way, nothing’s alright.
More often than not, I think about what really drives me to wake up every morning. Is it the fact that my mom, a beautiful image of a once glamorous singer, wakes me up to kiss me and bring me breakfast in bed every morning? Is it my adorable boyfriend who still spits the image of an angelic baby, yet strikes me as a mature young man? Is it the compliments I get from my teachers each time a class would end? I really don’t know. All I know is that I haven’t really been happy. For the past year, I’ve woken up to the […]
Things I Am Feeling And Going Through That Shouldn’t Even Be Happening In The First Place
written by indierockkgirl
Okay so my kind of suicidal is more like hours of disgusting contemplation over the most gruesome way to kill myself. But I’m not always suicidal, I am usually a very happy person. This feeling is only ensued when….I even get angry typing it out…..when my parents mention marrying me off. And I’m only ******* seventeen and I’m still a junior in high school (I started school late). I get extremely angry and my head starts throbbing (I can even hear it beating), and my body starts shaking like crazy. I go to an empty room and cry my heart and eyes out. I think […]
A battle, a fight, another day. Every morning I wake up and the first thing I do is check to see if I still remember how to smile, I’m not sure when it happened but piece by piece my emotions were shattered and I slowly started faking them to get by.
I guess it did have a beginning. I once had a dream, a direction in which to aim for and look forward to, but it fell to pieces and went from being a realistic future to a childish night time fantasy. I tried to fix it, I tried to create a new dream, but every […]
so the summer of my 19th year has come to the climax of failing half my first year exams and continuing to fuck up during the holiday that followed, so it’s unlikely I’ll make it back to university, precipitating the major crash and burn i’ve had coming for a while i suppose
i’ve recently overdosed on ecstasy a few times, taken some desperate nights out in cities far from home and with strangers and just generally been ‘that guy’.. i did have close friends, but along with a sane home life it’s all just disintegrated and basically i’m half working to pass my exams to get […]
I’m 24 years old and have been depressed since i was six. I was raised in a family where i could never be good enough no matter how hard i tried. I was always compared to my older sister because she did well in school, and was grounded pretty much from first grade till high school. I have tried to commit suicide several times, usually with something going wrong (or right according to some people). In high school i started cutting myself to deal with my depression as it became worse. When i went off to college i met this girl who was popular and […]
Ive been trying to get help from my so called friends for so long but its useless. Im pretty sure I just lost one by telling her about being suicidal. She told me she couldnt take the stress I was giving her and that I was burdening her with my depression. I have like three friends now and I feel horrible for messing up someone’s life with my problems. I dont get it, I thought when you needed help you were supposed to be able to ask your friends for it. So here I am in my downward spiral with its ever increasing slope, I […]
I’m in a place I have been sine I was 11, I am broken inside friends and family say get help I have but it didn’t really help its basically for people who can talk problems out and somehow be cured. I hurt I’m heartbroken I have been on a downward spiral for so long I no longer know what complete happiness is. I no longer have friends to turn to since a year ago I had overdosed. I feel so alone they say turn nto God but I do have God but that hasn’t helped me either I can’t find peace I feel myself […]
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