Me and my boyfriend went to a party a while back where I drank for the first time and I liked it. While I was drunk something snapped in place and I felt better… I’ve been drinking a lot since then and my boyfriend made me promise to stop… but I can’t. And I have been trying to since I promised… should I tell him I still am drinking?
Tag:
drinking
Can I stop hurting? Feeling like a shitty human being? Because I don’t live life in the most absolutely best way possible. I don’t want to believe in GOD because I don’t want to feel like shit about myself every single day. Because I sin and I don’t want to change that, and I don’t want to hate myself for not wanting to change it. But either way it goes the truth is I don’t accept myself and I put myself down because the things I do and enjoy are sins. Cursing, drinking, smoking, disliking people, pre marital sex, all these trivial things. Why can’t […]
I think I am sick. Certain health issues that arose 2 years ago have recently gotten worse and more frequent. I don’t want to see a doctor even though I am uncomfortable and in a bit of pain. I don’t like medicine. Strangely enough, I have had the urge to try LSD. I have never done drugs or really been interested in them. Well, I tried pot when I was younger, foolish, and pressured – it was not for me. I enjoy drinking wine on occasion. I keep thinking about partial suspension hanging…
A few people have called and tried to reach out to me lately. I […]
So for starters, I’ve tried to commit suicide maybe half a dozen times. Through pills, a few vain attempts at cutting my wrists, which have left my arms embarrassing and cumbersome for finding work. I have been a cutter since I was 15, but those scars are hidden.
I used drugs for many years, meth, x, and shot coke for awhile. Well, I did it, I quit drugs. At 22, but than I started drinking. Real fun drinking, but managed to keep a job. When I didnt have a job, I drank all day and all night.
So I meet a man. Also an alcoholic. We moved […]
To be honest I thought my depression was done with. I hadn’t had any suicidal thoughts in a good 4 months and that seemed to be how I defined depression…. Suicide. But I didn’t realise how much I’ve been staying in and drinking alone at night, how little I’ve been eating and how much I sleep during the day during those 4 months. I’ve never really associated these things with depression at all. My first suicidal thoughts since then happened a couple nights ago. Reoccurring images of familiar deaths, my family finding me, the aftermath of everything, it was like 4 months worth of suicidal […]
(Warning, this is sorta long and it may trigger things for some people. Bex, isn’t a real person. Bex is just something I used to make this easier to write. Whether or not you read this is up to you, I just felt it time to put it out there.)
Dear Bex,
Why do we blame ourselves for the shit that happens, when it’s we who are the victims?
Why do we try to act like nothing has happened, when the events are life changing?
Why do we hide beneath our own humiliation, when it’s they who should be humiliated?
Just why..?
This is something I’ve […]
Maybe it will help if I type it all out–my anger, fear, rage, emotionally disability, desire to die. I have been disabled on so many levels, planes, altitudes, planets, and realms of disaster that I can no longer keep up with it all. Really, I haven’t been “dealing” with any of it for so long, if ever. I just want to type this out and not worry about typos, grammar, spelling–because maybe it really will help me. My ride on the crazy train has been going on for most of my life. Now that I’m super obese (been this way before), unemployed for almost a […]
Why am I still alive?! I’ve been drinking antifreeze for the past two weeks! Believe me, enough of it to kill 6 adults. Why am I just falling asleep like it’s nyquil?!!! What the fuck?! I don’t believe in religion, I don’t want to talk about it, and don’t offer me help. I know life is suffering and I’m trying to fucking leave! Why can’t I get out?! I’m just here killing time.
I know in the back of my mind it won’t help but it’ll at least help me forget.
or give me the confidence to finally kill myself. I need to feel less guilty. Then I’ll finally do it.
I bought what I now know was a cheap tongue piercing a month ago.Earlier I was at a friends house & the plastic on my piercing came off but I didn’t know.I was drinking water & felt It going down my throat. I drank a lot water to swallow It but I couldnt.I tried to throw it up but I couldn’t.I felt my breathing & heart beat start to slow down.I started to get terrifed,I was seconds away from telling my friend to take me to the hospital but I didn’t wanna seem like a *****.Plus he didn’t have a ride.I was sitting there scared […]
Age 11 found out life really isn’t that great,
Age 12 ran away from a rape,
Age 13 became less bright and cute,
Age 14 tried my very fist zoot,
Age 15 started drinking and became wild,
Age 16 got pregnant and lost my first child,
Age 17 tried to turn my life around,
Age 18 here I am soon to be buried deep into the ground.
No child should have to go through this, this is what leads to self-harm and suicide and worst of all depression.
A couple days ago. I haven’t cut in a couple months. I’ve going to most likely do it again. I want. Things I can’t have, things I can’t live without. I chose a long sleeve shirt for my job for a reason, I have to just hide it. I think about locking the store, drinking the night away, and just cutting myself till I bleed out in the store. I hope people try and rob me with a gun, so I can ‘do something stupid’ and get myself shot. I’m a coward, I can’t do it myself. I wish I dead. Or just. No I […]
So I posted before on another account that I would attempt the dehydration suicide method. I said I would check in a hotel on my forth day of drinking and eating nothing. I did but it was on the 6th day. I took some things with me in a backpack like clothes my toothbrush mouthwash moisturizer and my note in a sealed envelope. I was feeling very weak already I had to raise my voice a little because I couldn’t hear myself and no one could, I was just confused the whole time. The people who saw me I guess they thought I’ve always been […]
I’ve been suicidal before I’ve wanted to hurt myself before, but I’ve never had images, visions, of hurting myself like i have recently. Its getting brutal, what’s going on with me. I could be doing anything playing with my sister having a fag drinking tea and ill just want to grab knife and just want to stab myself repeatedly legs chest everywhere, surely this isn’t normal? I mean I’ve been suicidal for years I’ve never experienced anything like this?
I guess my last post wasn’t very explanatory. I’m still in highschool. Just a kid to most people…
I was in elementary school the first time my mom went to jail. I woke up one morning and she just wasn’t there. The story is that my dad and her had gotten in to a huge fight-physically too-and when someone called the cops she was arrested because she was so intoxicated.
Over the next few years she kept drinking heavily. It got to a point that I wouldn’t see her for days or weeks at a time because she was locked in her room drinking or even popping […]
i got depressed and binged drank for almost 5 years and ruined my relationships with everyone i know….iam 27 and my health feels messed up from all the drinking..i can only breath out of one nostril at a time now and i dont really want to be here anymore….my family just watched me crash and didnt do anything to try and stop me….or help me…and now i repeat the same thing over and over about how i ruined my life…and they say its annoying….
i had a mental breakdown and was put on meds……. and while i was on my 5 year bindge i made a […]
Well I haven’t posted on here because I thought life was getting better but I saw I was living for others intead of myself and that I’m alone i feel all broken and weak so now I’m trying to find myself and what I want do because I have to decide which college I am going apply to by December and hopefully I survive my last year of pre med ( if I go back)
Recovery has been hard but I have been clean for almost two years , no drinking no cutting and actually eating so I’m somewhat proud of myself
In conclusion this […]
iam not sure if it was the 5 years of heavy drinking or what..but i no longer feel joy..or happiness..i either feel normal or depressed….this is torture…i dont really want to die..i just want my emotions back..ive been put on anti depressants but my mood is the same….
iam a 27 year old male…at the age of 21 my mother (who had divorced my father when i was 9) eloped with a man i had never met and left me with no where to go…i ended up roomating with a guy that was a drug addict and had a mental problem..i became greatly depressed as i was already suffering from social anxiety..and fell into heavy drinking..i would drink almost everyday…and i couldnt stop..this went on for years until i had a nervous break down at the age of 26 and i was put on to anti psychotic medications which i take every night…(alot […]
Hello!
I think you guys deserve an update on how I am. 🙂
Also, how are you guys? I haven’t talked to you in a bit. So yeah please do tell me how you are.
If you know about my little technology problem, (I got locked out of my iPad with no back up, no previously synced computer, and practically no way getting access to my iPad without wiping everything) it is okay now. I wiped my things. I just did it. And I only deleted like 80 pictures, 2 notes, 3 videos, and that’s it. 😀 I got my music back and my apps, […]