Tag:

Drugs

Alone In This Cruel World That So Many People Call Home While My Thoughts Brutally Attack Themselves

by Miss.Mayhem 11/22/2012

written by Miss.Mayhem

I’veÂ attemptedÂ to write my suicide note. Or notes I should say. I’m not even done with the one to my love. It’s like 4 pages long already and not even close to being finished. Do I know if I’m going to commit suicide? No. I just want everything ready for when and if it does happen. I see it being a 30 to 70%. 30% being I won’t attempted it. The other 70% is I will. Probably not now but latter.

Tomorrow and Thanksgiving and I’m not sure what to be thankful for. My family resents me. My friends will eventually turn their backs on me. What’s […]

11/22/2012 0 comment

Guys, this life needs you!

by tryingToLive 11/21/2012

written by tryingToLive

Just want to say to all who is in hard time at the moment, STAY STRONG, you were born to make a diference in this world.

You are just so much better than thoseÂ people or things thatÂ upset you, who ignoring you, who or whatÂ makes you scared… There are people who love you and whoÂ DO care for you, they may be near, or you’ll meet them later in your lifeÂ (you sureÂ will),Â and they need you. Think about them. Do not be selfish. You are wonderful, beautiful and this world needs you!

Believe in yourself! I DO!

Read some books, look for answers, talk to somebody, look in to yourself, try […]

11/21/2012 3 comments

No Clue

by Miss.Mayhem 11/20/2012

written by Miss.Mayhem

I guess I didn’t notice I loved you until you held my hand. I didn’t know you loved me until my friend told me what you said. But you don’t know me. You know me….but you really don’t. You think I’m perfect because that’s how I display myself. I make sure I smile and laugh. I make sure not to show any emotion I would regret latter. You just think you love me. You don’t, truth me. Once you find out, you’ll change your mind…they all do.

But if you want to know the truth, fine:

Yes, I do have scars I hide.

No, I’m not the girl […]

11/20/2012 0 comment

The Unknown Normal

by Miss.Mayhem 11/19/2012

written by Miss.Mayhem

Someone I’ve loved since the moment I’ve ever talked to them is slipping away. The sad part is I’m letting him. I can’t do anything about him not loving me anymore. I’veÂ foughtÂ for him for 9 months, if not more. I’m done. I can’t keep waiting on him to realize if I’m what he wants or not. I haven’t talked to him sinceÂ Thursday. He says he cares and would do anything for me but I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know if it was love or lust. MaybeÂ neitherÂ Maybe all of it was just a big joke, but I just can’t take it anymore. The […]

11/19/2012 4 comments

I don’t want to see anyone go through the hell i had to. I want to help.

by Daydreamer 11/15/2012

written by Daydreamer

I am an 18 year old boy graduated from high school not too long ago. My first suicide attempt was after the first semester of Sophomore year. Drank half a bottle of rat poison because i was too chicken to hang myself. I never felt so alone as i did then. I was a ghost, my friends would talk to me but they didn’t care about me. They tried, but they never got me. The people who i loved the most my friends my family, it felt like i was nothing to them. Wen’t walking around everywhere with a hole in my heart wanting something […]

11/15/2012 4 comments

Just don’t know the words for it

by love_is_everything 11/6/2012

written by love_is_everything

I have friends . Family ect . I had a rough child hood but it made me the strong person I am today . I can handle abuse , problems, conflict . Or at least on the surface . I smoke about an eigth a day of weed to mello out and drink when I can’t smoke . I use to use other drugs till I realized I was only letting “them” win by making myself look like the dirtbag they made me sound like . So I stick to my pot and alcohol although I have a struggle everyday. I feel like I dot […]

11/6/2012 0 comment

I tried 3 times.

by anthropophobia 11/6/2012

written by anthropophobia

I survived suicide 3 times. Â I made my first attempt when I was 18. Â It seemed like a logical choice at the time. Â I felt like there was no possibility of recovering from the all consuming pressures and stresses of life. I tried to hang myself with an electrical chord. Â The chord broke, and I woke up minutes later seizing on the ground and vomiting. Â I cleaned up and with my bruised neck I knew there was no way of hiding so I let my family know. Â I was sent to a facility for a bit where they forced me to eat and take drugs. […]

11/6/2012 1 comment

Explanation Of My Being

by Miss.Mayhem 11/5/2012

written by Miss.Mayhem

I’ve been really thinking about everything that’s happened to be and what might happen to meÂ latelyÂ I kinda just want to get everything that’s happened to me out there. I’ve never actually told anyone my whole lifeÂ storyÂ before. I don’t expect this to get me any comments or anyÂ viewsÂ for that matter, I just want to get if off my chest. It kinda explains why I am who I am. Well, I guess I’ll start from theÂ beginning:

When I was 2 months old my mom found out my dad was on some serious drugs. He actuallyÂ dealt drugs. Every kind you could think of, he had. As soon as […]

11/5/2012 8 comments

Starting Over…..Again…..

by Miss.Mayhem 11/4/2012

written by Miss.Mayhem

So me and my ex just had this HUGE fucking fight about cutting. (It was a big fight considering I had anÂ anxietyÂ attack) He’s never cut and he didn’t know I did. I felt like it was time to tell him so I did. HeÂ flippedÂ shit on me and told me he would kill himself (which he won’t). He said he loves me and wants to be with me. I am the same but I told him I wasn’t going through his shit again. I told him also that if he wanted to be with me again he had to earn a hall of a lot of […]

11/4/2012 4 comments

ClichÃ© of Wanting to Die

by juesee 11/4/2012

written by juesee

Anyone out there having trouble living your life also?

Fuck, I just want to give up everything and die.

I’m tired of explaining everything to everyone about why I have erratic moods, why I need help, why I’m not as normal as everybody fucking thinks. I’m so miserable living my life. I basically lay down in bed, thinking of all things I have to do, shouldn’t forget to do… but I just can’t get up. I wake up so late in the afternoon that myÂ day is halfway gone. I eat, use the bathroom, then go back to my room. In my room, I’m on my laptop, on […]

11/4/2012 1 comment

It Exists….To Destroy……

by Miss.Mayhem 11/4/2012

written by Miss.Mayhem

I’m bi sexual

I’m emo

I’m a cuter

I do drugs

I’m atheist

I’m OCD

I’m bi polar

I’m a lover

I’m broken

I’m suicidal

I’m victim

I’m more things than you can probably count. I know there are others who probably have it worse than me, but I feel like thisÂ is never ending, that this world onlyÂ existsÂ toÂ destroyÂ me. I wake up every morning and think “why am I still here?”. Â It’s a good question to be honest. I have no purpose. I’m not important. My friends tell me if I died they would care….a lot of people have told me thatÂ before…..and look where they’re at…..gone. It would be so much easier just to end it all […]

11/4/2012 4 comments

Empty

by Miss.Mayhem 11/3/2012

written by Miss.Mayhem

The love of my life lives in Kansas….I live in North Carolina. We have been off and on for almost a year now. We got back together about 2 months ago then he broke up with me. I fell back into cutting and pills. He swore he didn’t like anyone else, it was just the distance. He asked out my best friend 2 days after he told me that. I want to fucking hate him so much….but I can’t. He doesn’t know I know. I promised him I wouldn’t cut or get high…..yet my arm is filled with new scars and my pill bottles are […]

11/3/2012 5 comments

She holds the hand that holds her down

by PennyroyalTea 11/3/2012

written by PennyroyalTea

I know I’ve been such a bad daughter. My mother is not perfect, my father neither. My mother can’t accept other ideas, and my father is tooÂ irresponsible. But, with all the bad things they do, I have no right to do this. Drugs, promiscuity, this is just wrong! My parents have done a lot of good things for me in my whole life, they’re really good persons (most of the time) and this is the worst way to pay them back. I’m so stupid. I hate myself so much.

11/3/2012 8 comments

Dear Boddah.

by PennyroyalTea 11/3/2012

written by PennyroyalTea

I’m so glad of being here again. I was missing this, the people and theÂ entries… everything. I feel really happy right now because I missed everyone.
Haven’t written in a while. It’s because I was busy, being a bad person. I already wrote a note to my imaginary friend (he killed himself a few weeks ago) apologizing because the things I’ve done. I’m sorry, I feel guilty. I think it wasn’t such a big deal but anyway… it was just wrong.
Talking about something else, I tried marijuana Â last tuesday. It was anÂ interestingÂ experience, I wasn’tÂ completelyÂ high but I did was feeling the effects of the drug. […]

11/3/2012 4 comments

Just a rant, and maybe some relief

by sleepy99 11/3/2012

written by sleepy99

I some times come to this site and read the articles on here. Sometimes to get ideas and others because it makes me feel less alone, but no matter how much I read it, I just feel useless. Why am I sad, why can’t I be happy, why can’t I want something, why do I have no motivation, no drive, no love for anything? Why can’t I try to be the person I want to be? Why can’t I end it? I just want it all to end and disappear I wish I was never born then I won’t be a burden on anyone, I […]

11/3/2012 2 comments

I just don’t understand

by sigh 10/22/2012

written by sigh

Sometimes I just do things and don’t realize how fucked up those things are until it’s too late. It’s like something just takes over my mind or body. I have sex with boys that I don’t really like then I get mad at them for calling. I am not a good person. Or I don’t know how to be one. I don’t really know. I always say that I’m not just one of those bitchy girls who plays mind games and fucks around. But I am, that’s exactly what I do. In fact, I’m probably a lot worse than all those girls because the entire […]

10/22/2012 12 comments

I can’t stand it anymore..

by waldorfb 10/21/2012

written by waldorfb

In all my life, I’ve been strong, my father died, my mom left me, I had eating disorders. And I got over everything, but now I just can’t anymore! My grandma doen’t talks to me because Iof his brother, he almos raped me! And she doen’t even know, and if I told her, she wouldn’t believe me cause she loves him more than she loves me she trusts him, he told her I was rude, liar, and that I was on drugs, and she believed, now looks like I’ve been kicked from my own famil. So, I had to move (I left my soulmate in […]

10/21/2012 0 comment

My best friend.

by brookeeagan 10/18/2012

written by brookeeagan

Hello to whoever is reading this. My name is Brooke and I am 19 years old. This is my very first blog in my life, not quite sure what I am doing. I wanted to start just because I am going through a rough time right now in my life and I want people to hear my story.

I want to talk to everyone about suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death between 15-24 year olds. Nearly 30,000 Americans take their own lives every year. An average of one person dies by suicide every 16.2 minutes. Crazy right? What causes people do do […]

10/18/2012 1 comment

I just dont know anymore

by rayderrick 10/12/2012

written by rayderrick

Well I dont know if ive had the roughest life matter of fact I havent, but Ive been through the prison system 3 times and have been homeless on the street for what seemed like forever before I got my family back and got off of drugs. I thought that my life would get better I even felt like I found god, but now Im always questioning myself about different thins like I got a girlfriend and she is awesome and I thought I would feel better about that but I dont. I have crazy thoughts and I dont let anyone know because I dont […]

10/12/2012 2 comments

Frustrated

by jax1717 10/12/2012

written by jax1717

I have been doing research for over a week on the best way to kill one self. Amf there just doesn’t seem to be an actual way to do it without serious planning. Pills apparently don’t work. I can’t afford a gun. And te drugs that are supposed to work are impossible to obtain Â so seriously what is a girl supposed to do!!!!

10/12/2012 1 comment

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