I have been through it all. I lost my little brother at a really young age and then after losing him watched my whole family fall apart. My mom started drinking, my dad left our family and i was the main caretaker of my 1 year old sister as I was 7. I started craving attention so i would go find guys to say they loved me. Then one got me into pot. Not saying pot is bad. But it completely changed my life around. I didn’t give a fuck about my family or my friends. Just sneaking out seeing my boyfriend and smoking […]
Tag:
Drugs
I was sexually molested(hurt) the first time at 4 years old. This continued until the age of 15, when at last my mother died. MY life has been screwed up since I was a little child. Could’nt make it in school. Joined the Army, got a bad discharge. Started robbing people to survive, went to jail. Got married, had two children. I was sent overseas, when I returned home, my wife and daughters were gone, she had run away with our neighbor. I had been using drugs for a long time, I increased use dramatically. Went to rehab, found out I had bipol disorder. tried […]
im scared. and i dont know what to do anymore. i feel like im falling deeper into depression, and i cant take it. i cried like 10 times in the past few days. everything is so stressing to me. and i feel like things  are affecting me more. like im more sensitive for some reason. ive never been this sensitive. so its weird to me, and i dont know how to deal with stuff. i just want to be dead. i actually havent cut for months now. last time i cut it was all down my left arm. from elbow to wrist all covered. but […]
Help! I feel trapped in this human body & physical world existence/limitation, is there a way to escape out from it?
by niki
written by niki
I often feel like I can’t relate to this material, physical earthly world anymore, and the majority of people here on this planet earth.
I often feel like there must be something MORE than this limited existence of our human body,
or I’m afraid if it’s all my human’s “creative” wishful-thinking and made-up escapism feeling/story..
does my human brain playing all these tricks on me, or it is really REAL: that there are indeed something much MORE that I can access/connect/tap into?..but I just need to find HOW to do it?..
Tell me please: is there really something MORE that I can do and ‘ascend/transcend’ in […]
1. What is your job?
or what do you study?
2. Do you like it? or hate it? or fucking hate it, but have little to no choice?
3. And is you’re feeling suicidal also related with your job/working life?
perhaps feeling meaningless, and hate life?
4. Last but not least, why don’t you pursue your dreams, or your dream-job, or what makes you happy?
What makes you hesitate?
thanks.
Humans, humanity, and this (earthly) world/life is not/never a perfect place..
sometimes it even can be ‘blamed’ because of our human’s hard-wired Nature. ie: the way we’re ‘created’.
A famous atheist literature Christopher Hitchens who just passed away ironically few days before Christmas, he said this: “Evolution has meant that our prefrontal lobes are too small, our adrenal glands are too big, and our reproductive organs apparently designed by committee; a recipe which, alone or in combination, is very certain to lead to some unhappiness and disorder.”
think about that, really…and this is even still just ONE factor (ie: I’m still not talking about other ‘imperfections’ nature […]
Forgive yourself & other humans,..because this *earthly* life is not perfect…and we’re all only humans…we made mistakes.
and besides, we all live only ONCE in this earthly life, so that’s why many people made mistakes in their life, because you can’t simply turn back time and repeat life..
So forgive yourself (& others), free yourself from all the restricting guilts,
keep learning,
and keep doing the Best & worthwhile while you’re still given a chance to exist and alive here in this physical world…
The days seem to get longer and darker everyday , I light one up and take another shot , yeah things will get better if im not sober . I get hit once again slammed into the wall . yet i take that for im a piece of shit . No one knows what happens when the door shuts . They think I laugh smile and have a good time . But deep down inside im dead , have been for a very long time .
i didnt know what to do until i decided to move in with you again . The drugs came […]
so i have not talked about myself really. and i guess i will now, since im really bored right now. my name is Gabby. im 16, gonna be 17 in april. i live by chicago. i moved here from lithuania when i was 9. i wouldnt want to live in any other counry, but i would really wanna live in either San Francisco or Las Vegas. ive never been to either of those places but they seem very unique. my favorite color is pink. i love art. i watch a ton of movies all the time. im still a sophmore. i have strong beliefs in human rights. […]
<img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-58739" title="Becca hi my name is Becca im 13 years old. My two best friends are brittany and kaitlyn and i love them to death. My favorite sports are gymnastics and basketball . I sing in my school chior and i recently moved to texas from washington state in march of last year. But i have a deadly secret. I’m sucidal and i cut . And was recently put into a mental hospital 3 weeks ago for a week for attempted sucide and cuttting. Now you may ask why. Why would a girl like me do so much harm to myself.. well […]
I just stumbled on this page accidently. But maybe this will be helpful. My older sister committed suicide over 20 yrs ago. I have mental illness in my family and several of us have it, including myself. I grew up with an alcoholic father and uncaring mother to give you a short and fast history of my family. Due to my mental history (suffering with bipolar disorder for 24 yrs, since I was 18) and dealing with the loss of my sister, I attempted suicide 6 yrs ago. I took my psychiatric medication plus some medical meds and as much tylenol as I could swallow. […]
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.†– George Carlin
Hail George.
he’s right.
fucking humans who like to over-complicate everything with all their ‘systems’ and rules and BS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW4x4gswm-o
“Tsubasa wo Kudasai” (Please Give Me Wings)
Lyrics translation:
“If I could have my wish come true right now
I’d want to have wings
Please place wings on this back
like a bird
I want to spread my wings
and fly in these heavens
To the free sky with no sadness
I want to flutter my wings and fly
Even now, I don’t need money nor fame,
what I want are wings!
The things I dreamt as a child,
I still dream about them today!
I wan’t to spread my wings
and fly into this wide sky!
I want to flap my wings and fly to this
free sky filled […]
Reason for my downfall is simple: this real world is too damn boring, I can’t stand it anymore
by niki
written by niki
Perhaps to the contrary of what many of you would think here,
I am actually live from a quite healthy & “normal” situation/environment, eg:
– I am born from a quite loving, and healthy family. My childhood was a quite happy ones, with lots of traveling here & there.
– I am from a quite middle-to-upper class family, which can be said, I’m pretty much okay/well-off, albeit not super/very-rich.
– I even went to all those what “normal” society would call “great routes” in life like: great education & school overseas (in U.S, “The Land of the Dream” for immigrant people like me, which is […]
Hi. I stumbled across this site last night while not being able to sleep. I don’t know why I’m here, but I wanted to sign up regardless.
I’m a 19 y/o female living in a house with my mum and my brother, who is 16, in Australia. I have things that so many other people in the world do not. We have our own house, have food in the cupboards and a bedroom each. We love and support each other in our own dysfunctional ways. I see my dad regularly and have a good relationship with him.
I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuVuMslQWGs
Powerful.
Just want to share.
Watch it ’till ending,
and get enlightened
for the power of your choices and Life
…before ending it all.
I need a list of ways to kill myself. Please give me details.
Here’s a short bio:
I’ve been depressed since I was about 12. I’m 19 now. I tried killing myself when I was 17. I took an overdose of Lexapro and antihistamines. I probably took about 90 pills in all but I did not die (obviously). I spent about a week at the hospital. They changed my meds and released me more messed up than I was before. Since then I’ve still thought about trying to kill myself again. I still want to go with pills but just in case I need alternatives. Please give […]
So you really want a f’in meaningful Change?
Not to be another walking zombie, just merely ‘existing’ & ‘surviving’ in this pathetic, rotten world right?
trust me, I can feel and relate totally with you..
Well,..here’s a BIG idea that might make you think & ponder a bit tonight (An idea is always better than nothing right?) :
what if I tell that it’s not our world that sucks
(eg: our Planet Earth, nature, animals, beauty of Nature, etc),..heck, it’s not even ALL humanity that sucks (eg: ALL humans & people you’ve met & encountered. ALL of ’em).
No.
It’s the System, the FEW Powers-that-be that CONTROLS the System,
i’ve been taking pain pill almost everyday for about 3 years now and it’s destroying my life. Â im going to my first counseling/rehab meeting tomorrow, and i’m scared the withdraws are going to lead me to think about suicide more than i already do. Â i sniffed my (hopefully) last two 40mg opanas a few hours ago. Â The place i’m going really pushes its patients to take suboxone to curb cravings and withdraw symptoms, but i can’t afford it. Â i’d rather kill myself than be a burnout drug addict the rest of my life. Â my loving family is the only thing keeping me from blowing my […]