This is going to sound cliche, but it’s my boyfriend. I have liked him for as long as I can remember. When we were not dating we were basically best-friends. I told him everything. Â About me cutting, my mom on drugs, and when she said she didn’t care about me. So we talked a lot. One of my friends kept telling him to ask me out and he finally did. June 1st, 2013. I still have scars, although I haven’t been cutting ever since. It feels good to know that you have someone that cares about you. He is everything to me. I couldn’t live […]
Tag:
Drugs
So I was at my father house planning on making breakfast when 3 police officers came in and said basically you can either come voluntary or were going to force you. I didn’t run cause I would it would be a criminal charge and I would go to jail and then maybe prison for some bs cause I’m on probation. So I said I’d go voluntarily so here I am I the ER chillin. I’m glad I have insurance cause no doubt they are going to bill me. The psych -some Jewish guy named Ira- came in after a few hours and talked to me. […]
What does it take to find somebody in this world who actually cares about your situation and who actually works for your benefit? All I keep meeting is people who turn towards their darkside for any little petty stupid thing and people who have nothing but LIES. Here I am, Amphetimine addict who has just had a dealer I’ve known for over a decade stop serving me and blanking me completely just because HIS stuff  made me paranoid and I guess it tripped him out a bit, after all we havent all got brain conditions due to drugs.
I cant find anybody else who sells it and EVERYBODYÂ I know […]
I was just reading through an online addition of the peaceful pill handbook (probably an outdated version, but oh well). If anyone has read some of my other posts, I have talked about how much I would like to use an exit bag. I don’t have any supplies gathered yet, but that’s because I’m trying to learn as much as I can about this method before I go out and do it. From what I can understand, gas is the most common “knocker outer” that is used with exit bags. I have considered buying a tank of helium or ********, maybe even both for good […]
I dunno. Life man. I’m so burnt out on this shit. In the past I made a lot of mistakes and now they are finally catching up with me. I have never been happy, but I try. When I was younger I was the fat kid and everybody picked on me. So I had no friends. Then I went to college, did a bunch of drugs, and ended up in a psyche ward. I got my shit together after that and went back to the university. Then I met a girl. Well, I loved her, […]
Jladd here as all of you know and i figured you guys would like to hear my story.
My mom never use to be a drunk or violent. She was once a normal beautiful women who would give you the shirt off her back. But that’s not the case now. I have two brothers and a sister. And then one adopted brother and sister. My mother never use to hit me or anything like that but it all started after we moved into our new house and she lost her job. My stepdad was always at work to support us so i never really saw him and […]
Everybody lies, right? Like we all make mistakes and tell lies once in a while. But I seriously messed up. When I was really suicidal, my sister helped me threw it. She didn’t know how I wanted to die, but she became my bestfriend. The other day, we got into a huge fight, and I told my parents that she had sex and did drugs. and they confronted her and I lied and said that I didn’t tell them. But I did. And I think she knew I did too. She hasn’t talked to me for a while and without her I’m afraid that I […]
When I was 8 year old, I thought I was living a perfect life. I had both parents living with me. I had a older brother and older sister who took good care of me. I thought everything was going alright… I now know what a lie I was living.
My Dad was a alcoholic. My siblings tried their hardest to hide this fact from me. It worked and I didn’t know much about my Dad. I only knew that he comes home from work at night to sleep which was a lie. He was unemployed. He came home every night to take my brothers money. […]
Hi,
My username is an anagram so if any of you care to do a little word play, you can figure out my real name, but thats not why I am here. I am here to tell you, the reader, a story. A story about me and why I want to die, yet cannot achieve presently.
I was born January 25, 1987. My mother was a drunk at the time and my father was smoking crank. I am the result of a one night stand. An accident turned paternal, if you will. My very first thought, I remember, was when I was still an infant, unable to […]
I cant breath I cry and I am facing a pillow I ralize I cant breath and I am holding my breath half of my mind is telling me its okay and my body is screaming WHAT ARE U DOING START BREATHINGSTOP BEING STUPID AND IS CUSSING I looked info on suicide and how people act I noticed I am like that ii cry and say how did I get here and I realize my mom is a drunk and druggie she dint even care enough when I was in her stomach to not do drugs not me or my lil sist. but my […]
**Disclaimer: don’t do drugs mmkay. It is not my responsibility if you do, be safe, be careful, be responsible. Don’t do stupid shit.**
Guys I have been there. I want to show you what it is like but I can’t, I can only describe it. It was so intense, some might have been afraid in my situation, I thought even the bad parts made it better.
I took presumingly 140 microgrammes of LSD (well that is what the guy who sold it to me said). I took it at home by myself to explore my mind (not recommended, especially if it is your first experience with psychedelics. […]
Insinuation is fun.
Wordpress is annoying.
Anyway…
This is my first “post,” though my story is entirely too convoluted and nebulous to really nail… so i’ll just say this:
I’m an early-middle-aged white male, who has had a profoundly depressing, worthless, lonely and unfulfilling life.
I don’t burn or cut or self-harm (unless cigarettes count), i don’t drink (at all) or do any drugs (haven’t even smoked any cannabis in over a year, now… though i will admit i’ll never truly stop loving it)…
Though i have had a few isolated incidents in the past, where i lost self-control and did self-harm, it has never been anything that persists or establishes […]
born may 27 1962
its been a long road in life and it never gets easy .. all the drugs in the world are never enough to fill the dead hole where my soul goes.. never owned a car or had a family or a house.. my dad died in the war and my mom never came home one day
.. no brothers or sisters to help out .. i would have died then if it wasnt for an old school mate of mine sneakin food out for me everyday.. i knew i couldnt take his food forever so i decided to up and leave to San […]
I am 29 years old and two and half years ago I got a surgical implant called VNS. Â The depression I had struggled with for 12 years, just left. Â Two weeks ago I found out that the man (my uncle) who molested me as a child from age 13 and under is going to the same community college I have been going to and is graduating on June 1st, the same day I was going to graduate. Â I will not be attending that graduation ceremony. Â He has been asked to sing at the commencement ceremony as well. Â These past two weeks I have struggled so […]
he wakes up after an hour of sleep to the screams of something else he didnt do he cant sleep at night because memories are so fresh in his mind of a life destroyed by abandonment and drugs but the drugs are a crutch now without them you feel worse more hopeless then before and it seems like suicide is a viable option..maybe it is..everyone you talk to thinks you want attention because they are to blind or to stupid to see the pain really felt..he feels lost in the world and he has given up hope
I am the most toxic person I know.. All I do is get high… All I am to anyone is a ticket to get high.. whether i might give it to you, sell it to you, or just hang out and get high, it is why you called.. No one calls me just to say hi… I want out of the life, I want out of life period… I think about killing myself almost constantly… I couldnt even guess a number of how many times every day I think about it.. practically non-stop… All of my relationships are based […]
Drugs. That’s what caused all this. There is lump in my throat telling me i dont think anyone will truly understand the absolute s**t it does to you, but who knows. So here is my story..
*Note* I am deeply ashamed of this, and i try to forget about it as much as i can. (i have not re-read this because it was hard enough writing it, im sorry about any spelling mistakes)
Grade nine was my first year of school ever (i was home schooled) so walking in the doors of that high school healed a lot more then desks and teachers, it healed experiences. I didnt know where […]
I have always wanted a best friend, and the only thing close to that was this girl named Breanna*, but she got mad a lot at me for not thinking the was she does and she had another group she would hang around with and i dont think they liked me because in a way i was a higher class then them but i never saw people as classes i just saw them for who they were. Anyway back to my point, it is not like i dont have any friends, but these friends are more like, how would you put it.. acquaintance. Everyone seems to […]
So I’m know I’m not the only one who is actively wishing and hoping that my life turns around soon and I magically become happy, or simply find a few real world (offline) friends to ease the feelings of loneliness….and yet while waiting for this to happen, wouldn’t mind if my life would just end.
I do not want to “commit suicide” though, because I know the pain this causes from family experience and I don’t want my family to know I was selfish enough to do that to them. Â But drugs – well an accidental overdose isn’t QUITE the same. If I overdose on pills, […]
I need to change something before it’s too late, but I just can’t.
by sono_libero
written by sono_libero
This lady came to my school today and talked about the dangers of dark magic. She talked about demon possession and how she was able to conjure spirits when she was in high school. I find it all entirely fascinating, but I am getting far too caught up in the dark world for it to be safe anymore. I feel constantly trapped in darkness and emptiness. I am never happy anymore. I have nothing to live for. I stopped using drugs and cutting nearly six weeks ago, and everything has grown worse, instead of better, since then. Everything is a constant battle. Far too often, […]