I am in my late seventies and 13 yrs ago my children’s father committed suicide, three years later I lost  my second husband, the year after my sister in law, the year after, my mother, the year after a girlfriend of my daughter whom I treated like a daughter, the year after my other sister in law, 2 years later my childhood girl friend (all these people through one kind of cancer or another and last year another childhood girlfriend from a heart attack. It’s been a succession of mourning without stop. Then since I had divorced my children’s father (long story) my children blame me for his suicide, and […]
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Emotions
I’ve been thinking of just ending my life. Most of you that are reading this probaly wonder why..Well I’ll tell you. You’ve probaly have heard of “Love”, well have you ever felt it? It’s a painful feeling, yet its a wonderful feeling. Love can strike many emotions: depressed, anger, but love is different for different people. Now me? I felt love, i felt it with someone else, and i still do..The only thing is its only me who feels love now. I am 15 and for the last couple of weeks I’ve been feeling very depressed, and having suicidal thoughts. I don’t know how I […]
I don’t really believe my story is one of suicide. It’s more a story of depression, if it’s even that. I don’t really know what I feel most of the time, and I tend to revert to sadness. Often I find myself pondering reasons I have to be sad.
I have never been beaten by my parents, never been horribly embarrased by my peers, I have friends who I hang out with consistently, I have a good job, I am a smart young man, I have tutors in life, I have good health. So really there is no reason to be sad, right?
If that is true […]
I’m not perfect and I’m the first one to say that. I cry when people don’t look and I always end up falling in love with people only to be told in a mild sense that I don’t deserve them. It’s always the same. Yes I am 23 and I have never been kissed by a guy or told that they love me or anything because everytime I try to get close to them. I get talked badly about like I AM NOT supposed to love anyone ever. I’m a *****, I’m a whore skank slut whatever. In a way I’m at fault. I lock […]
This site… has been a wonderful outlet for me. When I first came to this site I thought I would have people dogging me on to kill myself; the kind of support I need. I certainly didn’t expect people to read what I wrote, nonetheless care. The comments that I get on some of my most pathetic rants (thank you pulling the plug and jon) seem to move me to tears… partly because it proves that some people care about what I have to say, something I’ve wanted my entire life… and partly because I’m a skeptic and I’m convinced that they really don’t mean […]
you cant just fucking sit around for one god dam day and just feeling sorry for your self for a little bit
no not with out someone bitching at you saying its your own fault your life is shity
and that one person who says it is some stupid ***** who could give a fuck less about me but is sapposidly
sapossed to love me idk…… honestly im so angry at the world that i dont give a fuck about anything or any
one any more. Its like i cant show emotions
so i hide them become angry but have no one to take it out on…..
I just really dont […]
I think it started when I was a lot younger than I am now. I now realize that in the past I fed off of guilt. Somehow, I liked the feeling of making people feel guilty, making them feel regret. And I was that way because I was sick and tired of myself being a magnet for those emotions. Maybe then, I wanted people to feel what I felt. Every little event that happened to me always started to build up through the days into something big, and I would always just look at the things I had done, and just say ‘Man, my life […]
Finally, oblivious parents have recognized my bulimic ways and decided to get me help. I’m going to a doctor tomorrow and I’m actually eating full meals. I feel…. pretty good. I thought all hell was going to break loose if they found out, but they were more understanding than I thought they would be. My brother knows, and he choose to just ignore me instead of supporting, but he can go fuck himself for all I care.
My bulimia was the cause of all my strife. I’ve felt happier in the past two days than I have in a long time. Though it will take me […]
Every day I feel less like living more like dying. I feel like a zombie going through the emotions of life only to be grasping. My husband truly hates me. How do I know? He tells me that I am a horrible person who has no redeeming qualities. All I do I do for him and our child. He just hates me and I am not sure what to do with that. We have been together since we’re 18 and I just can’t see how to go on without him. That’s all I ever wanted to be was his wife. I really have no life without him.
I […]
i’m 23 years old. my birthday is on the 13th and i keep thinking……..maybe i won’t make it til then. i’m a single mother of 2 kids. it’s definitely hard……but looking at how perfect they are makes everything worthwhile. i feel guilty for the way i feel. i never feel like i’m good enough. i hate myself so much that it’s hard for me to find the good in anyone else. i didn’t have a really horrible childhood. but when i was 8 my mom told me that my dad wasn’t really my dad….he was my step dad and my “real” dad lived in california. […]
im sorry but i really dnt have neone to talk to nemore. since 2001 ive had serious thoughts of suicide. My life really sucks… when i was three my grandfather decided to molest me and then when my elder brother hit puberty he decided to rape and molest me for almost 5 years. i accidentally told the cops and he was arrestted but no one in my family believed me except my mother. everyone else just called me a liar because they didn’t like me as much as they liked him. When i grew into my teenage years my cousins decided to try ‘sstuff’ on […]
ugh, i’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am a 21 year old male that just can’t do anything right. In college, i just continually messup in class because I am too depressed to get up of of bed and go to class. I just don’t want to do anything… i just want to lay in bed and just wait for everything to pass over. Besides having a long history of depression and going to counciling, I am on probation for a DUI. I know i fucked up and i beat myself up for knowing that i shouldn’t have done that. the […]
I am going to move it is unavoidable, and i have to keep it a secret… but i told my boyfriend and he broke up with me. He only did it because of this but the truth is i am not moving for another year… and this really hurt. I am dealing with depression and he didn’t really know the extent of it… and this really crushed me. He is really honest with me and tells me everything still, we are really close and that hasn’t ended but i am still so confused… you see he told me he still loved me and he didn’t want […]
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