The burden of life is too great to carry. I feel like the Titan Atlas, forever carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. But I am not immortal. I can choose to die. I can end it all and forsake the pain. But no…..I will not. Today my one year old sister called my phone all by herself using my mother’s smartphone (she knows it is me because she can see me in the contact picture) and left a message, crying because I wouldn’t answer. Even after I called and tried to talk to her (my mother put her one the phone) she […]
Tag:
end it all
I want to kill myself and once I’m in the act of doing so, I freeze and I cant? Why can’t I be one of the people that get hit and runned and shot by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Why can’t I own a gun and place the cold metal barrel to the side of my head and with a slight movement…end it all; for once and for all. Do I pity my mom and feel sorry that all her children bring her disappointed and frustration is that it and ending myself make it hit rock bottom? Im tired and […]
In a couple days I will turn 21 and when I do I’ll have fresh cuts on my body. I can’t help but look back on the long list of failures In my life. Yesterday at a fast food place strangers at the table next to me were laughing at me and I heard them say “he looks like the hunch back of Notre dam” and I cut myself a lot over that. On my birthday I have to see and know there are dozens of fresh cuts and old scars.
There isn’t enough time in the world to go into depth of how much I […]
Ive have had suicidal thoughts for as long as i can remember but this time I’m really scared they are stronger and worst this time i try to think of another solution but it always ends up at just end it all. Everyone has something against me. They all blame me the people that i value so much are the ones who have hurt me the most i don’t want to tell them anything about my thoughts because i know they will feel sorry or call me even more stuff. I have someone who I’m currently dating i feel like he just stayed with […]
Life is death, death is life, there’s no life without death. Life is useless, life is worthless, life is not needed, at least not for me, life is a beautiful promess that can’t no be keep, life is a fairytale, life fed us up with bullshit, life makes us work our ass off for what, maybe something but at one point what will happen it will all go away, life tels you that itself is beautiful, but deep inside life is so ugly, life won’t last, all those things you’ve work for won’t last you won’t last and what will happen nothing, you’ll just go […]
I cant get anything right. I’m on my 4th attempt, every other attempt would have worked for anyome else but it seems like the world just wants me to suffer.
I wrapped my car around a tree at 120mph, climbed out of the roof and walked away not a scratch on me.
I highsided my motorbike in excess of 130mph, and just rolled into a ditch, not a scratch on me.
I locked myself in a tiny bathroom, sealed all the vents, with 4kg of smouldering charcoal, and I woke up with nothing but a headache.
I have 2.6g of Sertraline, 24g of Paracetomol, and 8g of Ibuprofen. I […]
Hello. This is no a cry for help or pity or advise. It is just me … me on my own isolated wanting to end it all. My son lives abroad … I was due to spend xmas with him and his other family. Today the news came I am not welcome. Devestated. I have no one else around me. My mum died 2 montths ago. I think of dying every morning every night and even when I sleep. I hate pain so need a painless exit. The pain I feel in my life is real and strong. I am crippled by my emotions and […]
What is wrong with these people who bring kids into this world… reading some of these posts and seeing that many of us have to broadcast online for help or to express ourselves, when in actual fact they probably have family that can help and encourage… the worst and most painful thing ive been reading is when kids are telling their parents that they are depressed, and they respond in denial… yet when their kids do take their lives they play the guilt game and say if only I had known, wow I didnt understand they were in such deep pain. Oh if only I […]
So then internet, this is something new to me but something i feel i need to get out of my system.
I’ve had a very privileged life, i’ve travelled the world to some amazing places all in the hope of truly finding out who i am as a person. It’s 5 years later and i feel further from finding that answer than ever before.
3 years ago i tried to kill myself whilst in Asia. Overdosing and cutting myself silly. That didn’t work and i was rescued by a fantastic couple who for one of them had been in the same situation previously in their life. This […]
No idea what to do anymore. I feel so broken and hopeless. Society is doomed. No one is honest. No one is trustworthy. Most people are too drama filled to even be friends with them. I spend my nights looking at others posts on here. Looking at ways to go painlessly. Sitting alone in my room. Whenever I have something I want it gets ripped away. The universe doesn’t want me to be happy. Two years with someone, they cheat. Three years with someone, they cheat. Finally get engaged to someone, they get Prego, found out they cheated and they also lost the baby. I […]
The air was so cold on that dreadful October night,
As I shivered in my thin blankets three,
I sat waiting for a call that would never come,
From someone who said they cared about me.
As the hours ticked on I worried that they were hurt,
It is a possibility you know,
But as I sat there a horrid thought crossed my mind,
As horrible as any I know,
This person never did know how to be late,
Not even for school or for work,
So how could someone I loved so very very much,
Turn out to be such a damn jerk,
Then my thoughts took […]
I’ve contemplated suicide for most of my life. In fact, I recall my first memory of considering killing myself at the age of 9. I’m in my early 20s now attending university and in the time that has passed I still question why I didn’t end it all those years ago.
I never am “good enough.” No matter what I do or how well I do it, I am never complacent. Which leaves me constantly feelings disappointed and worthless. After years of these emotions, inflamed by periods of depression and social anxiety I feel I’m ready to end it. End everything. The sadness. […]
“Little girl messed up inside
Wished that she had wings to fly
Away from sadness
Away from pain
Away from all the things they said
But when the darkness comes at night
She tears down the walls inside
Little girl messed up inside
Told me there are reasons why
She takes the blade into her skin
Killing demons deep within
But when the sunlight sets to rise
Still she wishes she could die
Little girl messed up inside
Cries and pleads, asking why
Some just die without their will
But some can’t even settle, stay still
Without the urge to end it all
Only wanting to […]
I read through some of the stories and decided I could post my own story.
Hi. I’m 13 and I have tried. You may be thinking ‘What does a 13 year old know about suicide?’
Well.
If you’re still reading thank you. It all started when I was 7. I was an ordinary kid. Only thing was that my parents were barely in my life. I clung to my grandfather. My grandfather did everything my parents neglected to do. When I was 7 he died of a blood clot in his leg that ultimately returned to his heart. I was devastated. He was my best friend. He […]
I really don’t know why I’m doing this. When I first told someone about my ..situation, she said that maybe even though everything felt unbearable at the moment, it could get better later.
It’s not like that for me. Everything is always unbearable. The way I feel, and sometimes don’t feel, scares me. I’m tired of not being able to go through my life without thinking I really should kill myself.
I’m tired of the part of me always making excuses, always thinking “what about your parents? How will they feel?” and I’m very tired of feeling like I’m faking all the time. I’m tired of my […]
Why is it so hard to be happy with your life?
People always say you should be happy and blessed that you’re even alive. Really?
I find my life to be so stressful and horrible. I find it so hard to be happy. I always worry about my future. Then I consider suicide and it makes me feel better. Like I don’t have to deal with anything or anyone anymore. I would go into my life details, but there’s no point really.
I guess I can say the only reason I want to live is for other people, but is that how it should be?
How can I make […]
Ok so I consider myself an empath definately and it makes it damn near impossible to be happy or myself in society. Virtually every minute of every day I can feel peoples emotional energies and in the past it has driven me into the wild and homelessness. I live with three people now and it is slowly killing me inside my soul yourns painfully to be in nature but I am not yet ready to go physically speaking… My society is Extremely hectic generally speaking it truly is like a rat race of misery lol out in the public and many peoples pain and […]
sad enough to want death but not crazy enough to actually do it. Anybody else simply sitting in their boat and waiting for a tsunami to end it all? I’m feeling extra sad today, not sure why. I’m trying really, really hard to upgrade my job skills but whenever I sit down to study, I end up doing something else until I quit and trick myself into believing that I’ll get started tomorrow instead (been saying that since February).
I’m here, ready to study this IT junk, but once I get started, I lose all energy and desire to better myself. I pull the rug out […]
My story of depression starts when I was 12. I self harmed for the first time. I didn’t have any friends and I was considered a loser. Looking back, I realize I wasn’t that depressed then. I was depressed, but not terribly bad. No, things started going horribly wrong my freshman year of high school. I couldn’t pay attention in class because I would start imagining my death. Blades were my crutch. I managed to make a few friends, but people still knew me as a loser. I was sad all the time, that’s all I really remember. I was never happy. Happy was as […]
Yes I got the title from Doug Stanhope (one of dopest). I felt it very appropriate considering how I plan to end it all. Sept. 14th my birthday. Perfect. I don’t wish to go into the details of my heart ache, I just want the pain and loneliness to cease. One shotgun from Walmart $150, box of shells $10, alleviation from thirty four years of emotional upheaval fucking priceless.