I’ve been depressed for the past three years of my life. No one knows about it but me. I’ve have scars all up my wrists but that doesn’t seem enough anymore these days and now more than ever I truly do want to die. Most people who are depressed actually have real issues. I dont . The only problem is myself I can’t seem to get out of this hole that I’ve dug for myself. I feel so stupid and I hate every aspect of myself I feel like every day I fail. I used to have close friends but they always seemed to make […]
I will be ending it once I get some affairs in order, I’ve said it before but I simply have nothing left and am exhausted to the core. Despite everything I’ve never been an evil person and was already suffering badly when you decided to start tormenting me and forming coalitions by deception and hacking tricks to do your best to ruin my life any way you could. I’m tired of living like this, I’m sure after I’m gone you will celebrate that you caused the death of another human being. I may have no accomplishments in my life but that is one I’m glad […]
So, I don’t know from where to begin. I can’t bear the pain in my chest. I don’t know how much of this I can take before I end up in an asylum. I’m losing it, my mind..
It’s been always this way. Nothing I can do to make you stop. I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried and I… tried. Yet, nothing seems to be working. No matter how hard I try, I’ll never impress you. I’ve been strong but.. but really how much of this pain I can handle? I wonder.
I.. who have been always the good girl. Done everything you’ve asked but […]
I’m in that space right now where I can’t tell if I’m depressed because of the meds (Xanax and Prozac) or depressed because of me. I felt so blank on the way home it was hard to keep myself from just driving off the highway. I feel confused, and tired of being confused, and apathetic to the act of breathing. It’s so strange…. Yet again, I’m not sad, I’m not mad, I just feel like I could wink out of existence at any moment. Like, just slip into death. I’m already 27, aren’t I too old for this sort of melodrama?
I love to see beauty, […]
I can’t sleep. My Grandmother makes it sound so simple. “How can’t you sleep? Turn everything off and lay down!” Gee, thanks Gran, haven’t tried that one before! She means well, though. So I listen to her long enough for her to feel comfortable enough to leave me alone before I resume doing whatever it was I was up to before she entered my room.
I’m a schizophrenic. People avoid me when they find out about it, they think I’m so crazy. They’re usually the people I’d avoid anyway – the people who barely know you but pretend they do based on the rumors they hear […]
I just registered here to have somewhere to share. Tonight was a close call. Extremely close. It made me realize I need help badly, but I have nowhere to turn but the internet, so here I am.
It all started a little over a year ago. My landlord handed me an eviction notice because I was 3 months behind on rent. Then he handed my wife a note telling her about how it was all my fault. We were already having marital problems, mostly because of the financial hardships we’d landed in, and that just made it worse.
We managed to find a crappy little trailer to […]
Although I didn’t know her, she is the second person in the media to commit suicide recently. She was a singer and Robin Williams also passed away recently.
Most of us try to commit suicide, think about it or know someone who does but it always sad to see someone go…
Some of this could be prevented if only someone would care enough and help one another along the way….
At least for me, I know if someone have me a hug every now and then, […]
Is xanax and ambien enough to kill you? My Dr said it was a heath ledger thing so not to take them together. Anyone know if that’s true?
We are all born, for the most part, knowing absolutely nothing about where we are or why we came into existence. When we grow old enough, we eventually learn of the inevitable mortality we will all face; we all discover there is an end to life. Sometimes, I go to sleep and wake up wondering what’s after all of this existence. I grew up living within the structure of a Christian denomination, which presents the possibility of ending up in either Heaven or Hell, depending on how unjust or just of a life I lead. On the flip side, as I’m sure many have, I […]
New dilemma. I had another panic attack today, while at work. I was lucky enough to excuse myself so no one realized, but I don’t really remember what happened in the 20 minutes I was gone. Later on I notice my sleeve is sticking to my arm so I go to the bathroom to wash it off, thinking it was juice or something from one of my customers…nope. I had somehow cut myself. For the first time, I carved “useless” into my skin. What the hell?
Im not sure were to start I’ve read a few posts here before but nothing more. For nearly three years I’ve wanted to die. I’ve attempted 4times only twice officially. I’ve had a mild drug problem for a year or so i think.
Im not really looking for pity or nothing im just tired im tired of it all. Im always looking for new methods as oding never works but i think what i need is a partner I’ve never been brave enough to die alone
planning on trying again after a special event in November. That should give me enough time to find someone who’ll come […]
Hello everybody. I really hate alot of things about myself. I am also sick with social anxiety and clinical depression. I recently discovered that I’m transsexual. I’m an 18 year old attending college to get a mechanical engineering degree. I feel like if I transition I’m going to destroy everything I worked for because I heard that workplaces just hate hiring transgender people. I also feel like if I transition I’m going to end up still looking manly due to being fat, acne ridden and hairy. I am also half black and from what I researched and understand black male to female transgender people don’t […]
On PlayStation Network I made an account called TransGirly. I intended it as sort of a beacon – other people who were either Transgender or questioning such could message me if they ever saw me on PlayStation Home and add me as a friend. There’s always strength in numbers, and that’s what I was going for. To have a circle of friends who could depend on one another if they needed it.
Today while I was on Home, two people approached me. They had club tags that read [<3 Jesus]. One of them began preaching to me about the rapture, how it was upon us, and […]
I want to be a Surgical PA. I’m currently a senior in HS and I know I may not be smart enough to carry out this task. I work very hard though and if I study and practice I do end up getting a good grade. Although in medicine you can study for hours and still not get a good result. If this is my fate I dont want to start just to quit. Those of you who have higher education, or are in medicine what is your opinion?
I feel like I am always searching for a place to fit in. Just to blend in with all the other people that fit in. But all I manage to do is watch them; Envy them; Pretend that I am like them.
I feels like I am just watching life from behind a glass. I can see what’s going on but I can’t join..I can’t touch them, I am never going to be one of them. There is always Something separating me from them. I don’t exactly know how to describe it. It is invisible and yet when I reach out I can touch it, […]
I am ugly. I am rude. I am vulgar. I am fake. I am useless. I am lazy.
My life is in a mess. I feel like I’m just going through the motions, without any purpose in my life. Why does anyone even want to live, when the end result is death? What’s the point in life?
If I left, people may be upset for a while, but they will forget soon enough.
I’ve had thoughts of suicide since primary school. Yet, I’m a coward. I’m afraid of pain. I’m afraid of cutting myself. I’m afraid that sleeping pills won’t kill me but make me suffer, physically, even […]
I’m feeling very alone and very scared of how alone I’m feeling right now. I’m switching between meds and I guess the other havent kicked in yet because I’m a wreck. A large source of my depression is a feeling of responsibility for those around me and feelign like no matter how much I do I can’t do enough, do exactly the right thing, be good enough ect. I just broke up with my boyfriend a week ago because I told him I just couldn’t handl the responsibility or pressures of a relationship right now. He was very understanding at the time but is now […]
Since the end of my childhood I thought obsessively about my death. It became self termination, soon after. I tried to kill myself three times, one OD, going to a cliff to jump (I didn’t, and suffered no injury), and drowning. I wasn’t under long enough to pass out. I’ve held a knife in my hands thinking about burying it in my body multiple times. I think about suicide constantly, but over the years only attempted really once, I suppose. I feel as though I don’t have the right to call myself suicidal. If I’m not that, what am I? If I don’t feel this […]
In the end I know two things that are completely and utterly true; that I do not matter, and that I am not enough. All my life I have felt completely and utterly alone, and this is partly my doing. I pushed away my friends and I isolated myself because I didn’t want them to get hurt when I inevitably killed myself; and I am finding that I am once again feeling this way. I cannot take the pain anymore, and my life will never get any better if it hasn’t even marginally improved over the last eight years. I wanted […]
I’ve been standing here for the last 20 minutes trying to get enough courage to step of the stupid chair, I want to leave so bad but I just can’t take this last step!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!