Why is it that every damn time I try to escape all the fuckin memories and flashbacks they come on harder?… Why is it that the more I try to feel the more numb I become?.. These are answers I will NEVER have.. So why does My mind want to constantly fuckin trap me in this twisted fuckin bull shit with no escape?.. None but the one that EVERYONE considers “wrong” .. I have so much anger!!!!!!!!!
Tag:
escape
If you sit in a room … a dark room . No technology … nothing but black painted walls and you by yourself . You have time to think , to reflect on every little thing . As you listen to music ( for those music lovers ) it takes you to a totally different world . As if all that matters is you and what you are thinking about . It lets you escape into your own world . Everyone says you should try to nove forward … to move forward from those who hurt you , from the things that has happened in […]
Even the dog wants me gone. I heard growling last night & found her staring right at me through the window & growling! Plus every time she sees me she cowers, like I’m gonna hit her. I haven’t done anything except block her escape holes.
The friend has now moved in & I am reduced to staying downstairs, eating muesli bars for dinner, simply cos there’s not enough for me. Not enough food, not enough room.
Oh & those who are wondering, I managed to plead to stay for another few weeks. Not that I think it’ll do me any good.
“Selina Kyle”
There is no escape
I need to roll out
Here in Gotham City
The suffer of hell
I already died
Walk to go die
Will I ever live
The nightmare that I am
Who can it be
That can save
Here at the end
My hero, the middle
Almost forever
Take me to life
Today
I think I’m done with people. I wish they’d at least give me a chance to die without having to suffer with this melancholic mind of mine, but people never fail to disappoint. A peaceful escape is just too much to ask for. I have no friends outside of the family, only feeling okay with my mother and brother. Each day, I feel like I am drifting further apart from them as well. I’m losing interest in talking to people as there is nothing to say. My connections are based on nothing more than materialism. People just can’t connect with me emotionally, philosophically, etc., or […]
Okay, I’ve read some stories on here and they made me feel like I could share mine. When I was in seventh grade I was a really happy person. I was like everyone else. I laughed, I played around a lot. I was always happy. Then towards the end of the year this girl (I’ll call her P) started to harass me. She constantly talked bad about me and said terrible things. She would write posts about me on Facebook and say I didn’t deserve to be alive. I don’t know why she hated me so much. Her and her group of friends would constantly […]
I don’t get high cause I like to,I don’t even like the tatse of swisher sweets.I get high to get threw the day.I rarely cut anymore but now that’s all I wanna do.Cutting when high Is like a high to a high.Without either one & someone not there Its like whats the point??I am by no means a strong person.I need an escape.Maybe I needa go home??
Into the pits
It hurt so much
Why am I so alone
Down and chained
Nowhere to escape
I want to be a dark
A dark dragon of the sun
Take me to the time chamber in nature
Such unfathomed spectrum a true warrior of Z
I’m dead and dark Son-Goku and you’re Piccolo
Friends like Mario and Yoshi
How can we conquer back the world, together
I can go now, I have a Nimbus
Can you be the other Bulma
I wonder why all the doctors and professors I’ve met told me its going to be okay. I mean, they should know better that there is no escape. This is not a passing cold.
That pisses me off. Later, after 6 months of therapy, they tell me the truth. Fucking morons. I knew that from the beginning. It doesn’t matter how much you stuff me with Prozac, it will be there.
I don’t know how this works, I’ve never done this before but I need some kind words right now. I’ve lost a part of myself. It’s so hard to be happy. So hard to be motivated. Surrounded by people but if you open up they always leave. 2 psychologists are helping me work through what happened, but I just need a friend.
My life story – I was always the happy one. But I was raised in a post apocalyptic cult and was psychologically abused until 21. I come from a broken family with domestic violence. My mum is not mentally there, still severely damaged from sexual abuse at a […]
I thought I had finally found the perfect method. Tbh, I had in my time frame and with what I could get in possession of.
Yet destiny must have thought against my wishes and I was revived in time.
Last Friday night I injected just over 5mg of ithium methadone (not being a junkie, I missed my vien) swallowed approx 230mg of water dissolved fluoxetine cognitive mixture and a bottle of JD to try and OD.
I was in an induced coma for three days then in ICU at Redcliffe for two with breathing, feeding, etc tubes down my throat and needles sticking out of me everywhere. […]
Just another slice at a slow soothing pace
Just another pill to drown that horrid face
Just another life, just another feast
I can not escape the ugly beast
It’s all reality, some say a thrilling ride
But there’s nothing thrilling about wanting to die…
Call me bleak
Call me blind
Call me weak
But you see I’ve been caught up in a daunting bind..
In this hole far to deep
80feet under I try to escape
Can’t escape a hole that never changes shape…
It was the supreme power, matrix or whatever it is called wanted me to suffer. That’s why all those escape routes I could have were brutally eliminated. I am made to loose and suffer. Family is one big cause of this mess but there were other reasons too. No matter how much I try, the supreme power will always derail it. May my life end quickly. Hopefully today. On this auspicious occasion of Ganesh Puja, a religious Hindu festival I want to finish this mess called life.
I’m afraid of life and all the terrible things that can happen to me. My two worst fears right now are (1)being raped and getting pregnant and (2)being paralyzed from the neck down. I don’t really get that much satisfaction from living anyway. I love the guarantee of peace that death brings. Honestly, i jaunt want to escape the world. I don’t see the point in going through the motions of life when I can just end my miserable existence as soon as possible.
I plan on ending my own life as soon as I get my hands on some sleeping pills and have the house […]
I watched this movie today called gimmie shelter.the girl basically had a hard life crazy mother rich dad who didnt want her.but in the end she got her happy ending.i would say only in the movies but this was based off a true story.what i wonder is why cant i ever get things right.this girl probably still has worries and hardships but her life will still be better than mine. Cause she got the help she needed.im twenty one all i think about is suicide and its starting to seem like thats all i know.and that would be great except ive never made […]
Why do I remember still? Why can’t I forget? And why do they keep reminding me how useless I am???… I just want to escape everything… be happy and free for once… I don’t care if I fall asleep and never wake up again… in fact, I welcome that..
I was really hoping to just slip away in my sleep last night but, like most things in my life, im just not that lucky. It used to be nights were the toughest for me. For some reason now, its mornings. I hate waking up with no one around. I hate the fact that I cant see my girls faces before leaving for work. They are always the first thing on my mind. I wake up in tears missing them. Why cant I just escape.
“Amnesia”
( by 5 Seconds of Summer )
I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me you’re doing fineAre you somewhere feeling lonely even though he’s right beside you?
When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?
Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
‘Cause I’m not fine at all
I remember the day you told me you […]
Sleep and escape reality by dreaming instead shit even nightmares are better than my Real life -_-