I don’t even recognize the people on this forum anymore, where did everyone go? Did they get better and move along? Did they finally just bite the bullet. I need to talk to someone..
So I got the job, I graduated, I did it. Throughout all the torture of having those really bad lows. And it just doesn’t get better, even if you get a good salary, even if you work in your field, able to pay back on loans and debts and are financially solvent, it just doesn’t get better. I lost my phone, I am still with the person that irritates my very being. My apartment looks like a hoarder’s, I have packed boxes from 6 months ago sprawled around. I’m starting a new job. I’m not even sure if it’s the right decision or if I […]
As the days go by, I only feel myself desiring to kill myself more and more. I loathe more, I argue more, I withdraw more. When things go wrong, its the only thought I have. When things go right, I remind myself that it wont last. I hate feeling like no matter what improvements I make, I’m still put down, I’m still living off others, I’m still worthless. When I try, I just find myself exhausted. All that ever brings me relief is to sleep and I think that’s only because its the closest thing I can do to death without actually killing myself. I […]
Hey guys.I want to say that I am going to kill myself. The main reason is that I once was a Christian and after I’ve grown up I understood there is no god and after we die we cease to exist. I suffered from depression, despair and stuff. I want to kill myself because everything I believed and experienced was a lie. The thing is, you never asked to be born..you were just born. It is like giving someone a food he hates and opening his mouth with force for puting it in. Some have a incredible desire for continuing their lives, I don’t . […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I don’t know if there’s a reason I’m here
I feel the only thing that’s driving me is reason and fear
And seeing death to me conceivably near
So I don’t give a fuck what you think about me reaching for beer
I don’t worry anymore about what my friends do
I have a more urgent matter to attend to
Is there something there bigger when I die and vanish?
That weaves everyone and everything into a canvas
I’m not smart enough to think I have a resolution
I’ll never be a man with mediocre constitution
My father told me that blood and power intoxicate
Keep fighting the good fight and never give up hope everyone. You are all loved and such amazing human beings. 🙂
I always knew I never mattered. So what’s happening now shouldn’t be a surprise.
I had to get away from home. I couldn’t run away and it wasn’t the time to commit suicide just yet.
I hid in the cupboard. Its nearing my 6th hour in here and no one realised I was gone. They sat at the table for dinner without me and chatted and laughed, never noticing my absence. I guess it doesn’t matter.
My father (biological) told me today that he got married. Since last Friday. I didn’t even know he was engaged. I guess I didn’t matter enough for him to tell me.
Maybe he […]
To everyone who ever doubted me. Moreover, everyone who betrayed me, like I wasn’t worth having as a friend, everyone who ever put me down, brushed me off, insulted me, ignored me, abandoned me, spread rumors about me, I have to ask, now that I finally am where I am, how did you know so easily?
so my family is suppose to be going to a christmas concert today. yesterday when i was driving home some asshole swerved into my lane which made me swerve and lost control of the car and i ended up spinning out the car. i landed in the bushes and the most i have is like whiplash. then my aunt called my dad today and told him that my cousin committed suicide. i was never close to this cousin. the last time i saw him was like 2 years or so ago. he was in the military and was in iraq so everyone is just saying […]
October rain this is especially for you.
I would like to share with every person on SP, the people to come, the people who have been.
Every single one of you, no matter who you are. What you’ve done. What you’ve been through. What you look like. What you think of yourself. Anything. You are all unique. You are all stunning, breath taking works of art.
And if you are reading this. Individually as a person. Yes you, and only you, no one else but you is my focous right now. (10 people could read this but the focous is individully on a single person at a single moment for each of you.) You made […]
Hi there. I just want to share my story. I’m kind new around, i’m from Portugal.
Well all my life i have been very negative, in my concept, i call it, realistic. Why do people think positive? do they want to get hitted hard in face when things fall? Anways its just my thing i guess, and im very hard person to motivate, i watch everyone, and they all got a dream, they want to be someone, and have some carrer. The thing is that i never dreamed or wanted to be something, all i asked at my teenager age was someone to connect, guess what, i […]
I’ll miss this place. My family is here. I miss working here. I’ll miss everyone.
Do watching YouTube videos make you happier or more depressed? Â When I watch these videos (not celebrities, mind you) but of “ordinary” people, I see so much talent- people who can sing, people who can dance, draw, play musical instruments, rap, beat-box, heck even people who speak well or people who know how to put on make-up to make themselves look like superstars (all those tutorials)! Â Maybe I should stop watching shows like American Idol and X-Factor…
When I look at myself, I don’t feel like I’m good at anything. Â I don’t have any talent. Â Ok, so I am relatively intelligent and I do have a […]
I haven’t been on SP for a long time, but I decided to come back and see how everyone is doing. I know that life is rough sometimes, but please stay strong and don’t give up. You’re all loved. 🙂
So right now in my hometown, there’s this kid who disappeared on Monday. He’s 16 and he left two suicide notes and the whole community is looking for him and it’s all over Facebook. And for some reason everytime I see one of those posts that they’re still pushing everyone to look for him and people think they saw him on the side of the freeway, everytime I see one of those posts, I can’t help but think “just let him be.” If he doesn’t want to be here, don’t make him stay. Just let him be. And I know it’s just people caring for […]
I leveled out some.. I do live with regret and memories. And I was really hard on myself.. I don’t know why it took so long. Maybe I just didn’t want to let go of the best thing that ever happened to me. I dont want to still… But, I thank you all!! On here for your help and support. I think of her less, I still feel sorry for myself. But everyone on here and out in the world was right. I’m thankful and sad.
You could have never known, and things would be no different. I tried to stay in touch; I made it clear I valued your friendship. I know life can be busy, and when so many people are on the edge of depression it’s hard to get excited about anything at all.
Even a person.
You’re forgiven for that, just like you always have been. I’ve never been known for a shortage of apologies after all; but you don’t get to pretend you just lost me.
You lost a little of me when I told you that secret, the one I could barely face myself, and you made me […]