Just a few hours ago, 153 innocent people were murdered. At leas one of them had now desire to die, but I’m assuming that was the case for most, if not all, of them. People wanting to live had their lives forcefully ripped from them, while I want to die but just don’t have the energy to try. I’d gladly trade places with any of them. This world is a cosmic, “Fuck you,” to everyone. Innocent people that want to live die every day, while those of us that want to die can easily end up surviving a suicide attempt or two. This is bullshit, […]
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To all the people reading these, I would like to ask you to do something before you think about/try to commit suicide. Think about the people you love, friends, family, crushes who ever you love. Now think about all things you haven’t done yet that you want to do, anything to reading a certain book or skydiving or even sex. Think about it, you can’t do any of things you want to do when you’re dead, right? So why waste it? Stay alive for the people you love because they most likely love you back even more! Stay alive for all the things you want […]
It’s been a while, although it sits at bay ready at a moments notice. Just waiting for the next opportunity to form again. Sad existence. No real purpose. I feel like I suffer so everyone else can continue. When I hear of someone committing, I am not sad. I understand that this place is not for everyone. Read a quote that the noise is too much for some. Or something like that. I’ve got more to say but gonna stop now. I wanna see if anyone relates.
to look around at this world, at the people in it. To see how horrible it has all become, how truly selfish and disgusting people are. I look around in the hopes of finding proof that good exists that there is still love out there somewhere. But the more I look the less I find and the more depressed I become. This world is truly awful and everyday is a battle to not conform to not become as horrible as everything and everyone around me.
I’ve spent my life being the person who is always thinking of others, always trying to help make everyone else’s lives around me better. I’m the clown, the one who laughs and jokes with others and makes others smile when they need it most and people apparently enjoy my company. However, I am just a stepping stone for everyone, they use me to get what they need and then move on, leaving me to feel alone and isolated again.
People see me as the happy and friendly guy, however, I’ve struggled in secret, for the most part, with depression my entire life. I promised myself I […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’ve only attempted once, but no one knew. What happens when you attempted to end your suffering? Everything from how did you feel to know you weren’t successful, your hospital stay and mental health evaluation? And how your friends, family, co-workers and employer responded and acted in the days, weeks and months after. And your thoughts based on how everyone treated or continues to treat you from a suicide attempt. And did things get better or worse after? Thanks!
If you want to tell details (means of exit etc) you can, but not necessary.
I remember feeling from a very early age like I didn’t belong anywhere. I always felt like the black sheep in my family and I was always pretty shy so making friends wasn’t really a strong suit.
I started getting depressed when I was about 12 years old. I had a teacher who I usually went to when I was having a bad day because I knew no one else would listen. I was having trouble fitting in when I was in middle school. I tried to fit in with all different groups of people but I never really clicked anywhere. In […]
today, was bound to be a horrible day. i woke up feeling like a failure. thinking about my future. I know I’m young but please don’t bash me about how I’m feeling. I was thinking about me graduating, and how everything’s gonna change. everyone’s going there separate ways, and everybody will be happy, then I think of me, how everything’s gonna just get worse for me.it always seems to be so great for everyone else, but when it comes to me it’s a whole different story. I feel like the universe is out to get me sometimes. And it’s just so overwhelming. I’ll be […]
Warning: This is extremely long, wordy, and unimportant.
I was just thinking.. Where did my anxiety come from? I used to be extremely outgoing. What happened?
I’m on the edge of a psychotic break down. if I keep pushing on to the end, that I’m oh so close to…so close to finishing my show, finishing this semester, finishing school……. it’s going to finish me. I can’t wait a few more day, weeks, let a long months! Everyone tells me how close I am to finishing school, “just a little more, two more semesters, you got all this way, why quit now when you’re so close?” And no one wants to listen about my bad day, how much I can’t stand it, and listen to me cry. My friends don’t want to […]
Fuck my life….
I know it sounds very cliche. I know everyone says it all the time.
I super hate myself right now.
I can’t believe that depression is ruling over me.
I feel like my conscience is trapped somewhere in my mind.
Illogical feeling rules my body.
I used to think that I can overcome any obstacles. Little did I know, I was super naive. When my freedom has been taken away from me, I broke….
like a fragile glass being smashed to pieces.
My dad passed away in March. He left so many unfinished business and also a huge sum of debts. I was […]
This is the third time I post here, and it’s about the same thing. I’m 24, I’ve never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl or done anything with a girl, and I don’t see this changing anytime during lifetime. And no, I haven’t chosen to be this way. It’s not because I haven’t met the “right” girl or because I have high standards. It’s only simply that I’ve never had luck with women. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of love-shyness or incel, but that’s where I come from.
I’m basically doomed. I’ll either have to live this way and cope in some way […]
So I’ll give you a brief overview of my life.
I’m 14 nearly 15, I know I’m young and I haven’t experienced life properly.
When I was little I was so happy.. I hope so atleast. My life should be so happy ive got great friends and my family. Well atleast my mum my dad still cares but sometimes he gets angry. I know this girl who likes me and well she’s willing to end her life if I end mine, girls huh lol.
Anyways my depression started around 9-10 years old and no one ive talked to has felt the same way of depression. I […]
I really haven’t been on here for some months now because I thought it was just a waste of time…But it was a while back an I just got into this mood where I didn’t communicate with anyone I stayed in my room everyday I didn’t even leave to go anywhere, I just want to get back into that mode because me communicating n forgiving is making me miserable every single day and I don’t say anything I just play along with the joy everyone thinks I have…..
My life is going as best as it ever have….and yet i want to die even more now. I don’t understand. Why am i always thinking of ways to end it? Why am i always hoping simeone else could carry this pain in their heart? I feel so hurt…but numb to any more hurt. The most painful things are my memories, that play over and over in my head. I think that…?????
I just think that if God were real and loved me he would help me. Help me feel normal..help me control the thought but sadly he doesn’t. Nobody loves me ?
Nobody cares
Slivers of life
Shaven off
Slowly taken
By a knife.
She shouted silently
As my last was gone
I fell to my coffin
For everyone to mourn.
To be in pain
All day long
Was my duty
In this plain old song.
Wasting away, peacefully so
Dieing my death
Finally you’ll know
Hi. It’s just me complaining and rambling again.
And it hurts that I can’t be what everyone wants or what anybody needs. And it hurts that I can’t be what I want or what I need. Because I’m not enough and I won’t be enough. And I’ll never be close to enough. And I’m just so damn tired……