So I meet him. I can’t say it was love at first sight, but since the first time I saw him I was atracted. He has that “something”. I was in a few relationships in the past, but with him everything was so different. It was scary. We started knowing each other, talking everyday, telling each other how much we wanted to be near. Because being with him was like living a dream, like talking to the only person that sees your soul. My lips won’t kiss anybody the way they kissed him. I’m sure I’m made for him. But then, at the time I […]
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I had a hysterectomy at 23. I want a child more than anything. I have paid THOUSANDS of dollars to find a “birthmother” who will place her child with us. We haven’t been chosen.
My husband can’t stand to see me hurt. We are moving in 6 months and will have to give up our home study. He won’t go through it again. Which means this is the end. I don’t get another chance.
Ten years ago I paid $10,000.00 to be a part of an agency. We were matched with a baby girl then we got transferred. I couldn’t stand to move on. I just […]
So 2 nights ago, I had to get some thoughts out of my head. I started an email; but intended just to erase it, but instead I sent it to myself. I was writing my comments to 2 men. One I have known for years, “TX”, but recently re-connected. He is someone I can call and talk to about anything. But he is also selfish and arrogant. The other man I just met last week on line. He sounded like the answer to my prayers. He was very attracted to me and from everything I could see, […]
Happy birthday to the most beautiful and unique person I’ve ever met, I really love you, you know I’ll give everything for you, I want you to be happy and be fine. I know your heart is broken but I swear I can fix it if you let me try. I can try to make you happy. I love you so much. I swear. I wish I had the courage to tell you all this instead of writing it down where you can’t read it. You’re such a beautiful pain that I crave everyday. Even tho I know I’m broken I know that love can […]
I am a medical student with a history of mental health issues which began when I was a child. I have always been truthful with my mental health problems with my medical school, believing that through being transparent, they would be able to support me fully. Last year I was sectioned under the Mental Health Act (I was forced to go into a psychiatric hospital against my will), and once I was discharged, I stupidly informed my medical school.
Since I informed them, I feel like I am being punished. Everything was automatically shut down; I was told that I was not allowed to return to […]
It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. I’ve been really busy with work and such.
Things are going rough and I on’y have until the 30th of this month to turn things around or I’ll lose everything.
These are my choices:
1) Default on my storage units and lose all mine and my late husbands possessions.
2) Sell my body to come up with $400 by the 30th.
3) Chain myself to a tree in the middle of nowhere tonight in soaking wet clothes and freeze to death.
Out of those options, which would you choose and why? What do you think I should do?
I’m working, but I don’t […]
Life is not fair / unfair. there is always winners & losers. I’m a loser, so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
by niki
written by niki
Life is not fair.
Life is unfair.
there is always winners & losers.
there will always be winner & loser.
so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
rather than they keep living chasing & fixing all their way too many losses, which is probably too late anyway too.
and usually losers can’t win / can never win against winners anyway .. even the “start” is already too late!!
This is the harsh truth / fact / reality .
Reality / Real life / Real world is very LIMITING / LIMITED in what we can & can’t do !
We are limited by money […]
So guys here’s my story, I’ve been living an average life. I was pretty confident, had some people who liked me. Girls thought I was quite good looking, more or less I new what I wanted in life I wanted to play hard now n later settle down with the love of my life. So basically I had things planned, i lived my life a day at a time worked during the days, went to gym in the evenings, Clubbed on Fridays n Saturday nights. Everything was good I did this for the past year. I had two best friends which I went to gym, […]
I think back to a time of the hopes and dreams I had years ago of who I was going to be and fast forward I feel like I’m nowhere near those dreams. Past betrayals have left me guarded which has left me in a state of not being able to connect to anyone. I internalize everything and in public I laugh and joke as a way to hide and cope. The irony is I work in a profession where I’m surrounded by people everyday and it is my job to help them feel and look better. With each of their smiles I hope that […]
I used to consider myself pretty smart and a good student, but nowhere else have I felt as lazy and stupid as when I’m in class. High school was a breeze cause the stuff was easy and we hardly did anything, but this so called “Higher Education” is such a waste. Many professors don’t teach and expect you to do everything they can do. Nice self-esteem killer. And even if you pass it doesn’t prove you have any practical skills.
So, feel free to share your college horror stories.
It seems tht everything is turning black to me, I feel that i’m getting into a darkness that I can handle it… I feel broken, the this that were precious to me, they’re all gone, I’ve realized that I hate myself, I can’t do anything well, my mom tells me all the time that I’m useless and I know that it’s true… Honestly I write all the time but I can say everything that is in my head. Lately I’ve felt so angry and I can’t get out all that anger from my body, I don’t know what to do, […]
I don’t know if this will work, i just know that i’m done with everything, I feel so tired and anger, I know it’s my fault, I just don’t know how to start feeling good again… I’m sick of myself… This is new, share something that is to hard to say, I don’t know if I can keep doing this anymore.
I am a 21 year old girl and people always like to hang out with me cause of my looks. When I tell people I’m depressed they don’t believe me cause they think I’m pretty and can have everything in the world I want. I am depressed since I was 13. I have always been nice towards everyone in my life and somehow people made use of it.
I don’t feel like I have anything or anyone to live for and don’t find anything to do I really like.
I go to University and am doing my Bachelor in IT but it gets harder and harder everyday […]
For the past 10 years I’ve have picked the same day to kill myself and I don’t know if I can make to that day this year. I dropped out of school when I was 16 and never been able to get a job. I can’t ask for help no matter how much I want to. Last year I showed my older brother the notes of suicidal thoughts and posted on Facebook I was having thoughts of suicide hoping someone would help me but no one did and everyonwe just forgot , know I’m at a the point were I don’t want any. I can’t […]
Why cant i go a day without thinking of killing myself? Its like a constant struggle to continue to live in this world. Everything is just so meaningless to me now. Is there even a real point to continue living and moving forward or are we just fooling oursleves when we say “it will get better”.
When i use to try and ask for help to stop these thoughts people only made it worse by telling me there is something wrong with me and i should go to a therapist but all they would do is put me on pills. I dont wanna go on […]
I don’t wanna lose it again. The last weeks and months were better, but now I know I’m heading right towards the abyss and can’t seem to change the direction, no matter how much I would like to. I do stuff even though I know it’s detrimental. Like even at this moment I’m listening to music of which I know it triggers my depression. Maybe it has to do with the days getting shorter and the weather getting colder. Or maybe it’s the stress, but that’s usually worse when I have to write exams. Best I can do now is survive another 1 1/2 weeks […]
I can never do anything right in this world. Everything i touch i destroy. Everything i do isnt good enough for anybody. Why cant they see im trying my best to succeed in this world. Mom and brothers think i wont go to college and become someone. I just cant anymore im so stressed and fustrated with myself that i cant do anything right to make anybody proud of me…. im such a screw up sometimes i wish i wasnt born……
Hello..
first of all, i tried to suicide two times by taking pills but i just did not die, so i think i will try again with more pills or i will try to buy a gun or whatever, ill find a way to suicide..
i love a girl that won’t ever ever ever love me, and she is my bestfriend in fact, it hurts like hell, i don’t want to love jer but i just do, i had a lot of sleepless nights thinking about her, im pale because of thinking so much, i really cant stop thinking about it and its killing me, […]
Imagination better than reality? Why Imagination is better than reality? Why is Imagination better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Imagination is better than reality?
Why is Imagination better than reality?
Why is fantasy better than reality? Why fantasy is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Interstellar, etc etc, they are much more interesting, full of POSSIBILITIES & varieties / variations, and better than reality / BORING reality […]
I have a long list of psychological problems and conditions. I once had passion for life and love, but no more. My level of intelligence, education, similar issues, and past compel me to make comparisons with that popular actor on The Big Bang Theory. The asexuality aspect of it isn’t a result of E.D. or some physical dis-function. I no longer desire any kind of relationship. I always knew I would die alone. Now I can’t imagine it any other way. As is par for the course, I had my share of suicidal thoughts, cutting, and even a real attempts. Bad news for the younger readers; […]