I’m 16 next month… i cant take this anymore. I’ve been through so much. I believe God makes our plans before we are born and this is part of mine. I tried telling people but they think I’m being dramatic or I’m not serious. I wish someone understood. My friends know but they cant help me, they tried. I cant help myself anymore. I’ve been harming since 6th grade but it isn’t helping anymore. I’ve become a raging ***** to everyone and i dont know how to stop it. All i do in life is hurt the ones I’m close to and break everything i […]
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everything
i’ve decided that i’m done; i’m done with everything, and i’m ending it. goodbye
Hello all… I am going to keep my name out of this,but I’m a hoosier, i was bullied throughout school and life in general it hasn’t really changed as an adult either… My family doesn’t care about my problems… They won’t even listen to them because their worried about the drug addicts… Maybe they would help me if I started doing heroin like my brother and uncle, but I don’t want to do such things… My wife tells me I’m always a dick anymore but doesn’t want to listen to my problems she doesn’t seem to care that I’ve started sleeping on the couch since […]
I have tried so hard the past weeks, so hard to try and push on. I’ve been looking for guns online, cheap ones, just to end it all. I’m only 16, and i’m so scared. I see no other option then suicide. I’m so ready to leave, but I don’t know what’s holding me back. Is it because I’m weak? Is it because I still love people? I don’t know, I don’t want to know. I read this story recently about this mother named Elizabeth who lost her child to see how it’d feel if my parents lost me. All I do is disappoint them, […]
Life is really , weird , I’m done with with everything . It’s just over , dealing with this shit has made me sick , it feels worse , I’ve lost all my interest in every single damn thing , dealing with the shit your parents are giving u … I don’t understand what the hell is wrong with me ,, this shit is over man , suicide is the only option left maybe.Today I stood at the end of the Cliff , nd yelled loudly . I just wanned to jump off it nd wanted to feel the warm blood […]
i am 17 & will be 18 in 3 months i have no job,not graduating,extremly insecure,have no friends nd feels like i have no family i need a job more than anything but nobody is hiring me nd that along with everything else is making me ore miserable than i already am i am also bipolar nd serverly depressed i was on medication but i ran out nd my mom wont refill my perscription she acts like she cares infront of pp but really she doesnt because ive been like this my whole life nd im only getting worse nd not once has she acted […]
i really dont see meaning in nothing. i just want a courage to stop this hell that is to exist and to deal with problems that will never stop.
nothing keeps me wanting to live here.. oh god, how i hate my parents for being so egoistic and putting a life in a hell of world. i think that having children is the most egoistic act ever, you only put a life there and fuck it and if the life just not feel ok with that, ohh you’re a douche.. you have problems.. NO, you that put me here that have problem. not me. fuck you.
i […]
I just want help or maybe to stop living or run away from everything. I’m at university and I have friends but I’ve lied and cheated to everyone and haven’t lived up to my parents reputations or expectations. I want to be alone away from everything. I think about killing myself but more than anything I want my guilt and sadness to stop. I feel awful and horrible for the way I’ve acted but I can’t go back on my actions. Apologizing to people 4-6 months after the fact doesn’t solve anything. I feel horrible. I just want to be done with everything. I can’t […]
Well, been with this girl for the past 4 years. The most amazing girl, did everything she can to me, gave me all the love that she could. Everything was perfect.. A few months ago though, I got bored, and ended up cheating, and told her. The girl I cheated with had gotten pregnant.. Of course, my gf left me. Told me if she knew it wasn’t mine then maybe we could work through it. Well that was 2 weeks ago, I get a call this morning saying the baby didn’t make it. So I called her and she said “well that was last week, […]
The daisy days go buy, i sit dazed and confused ,laying one with the being beneath me. he hugs me she trust me ,she know i am loyal to her trees, magnificent beings. closing my eyes,I wonder upon the mountain side, so small infinite to the world outside. I love it all, the one thing i could possibly love is her,the song birds sing ,i sigh the wind fills my lungs to saves my cries. Brush the hair of a girl who is so confined, so small to both her and time, I try to just be, love everything she made; including me, be open […]
Today’s goal—-act normal, and maybe I’ll feel normal. Robot mode. Tell the doctor everything that’s really wrong, with the straightest face.
I had a dream last night I got sent back to the hospital. It was even more decrepit and bare then the real life one.
No wonder I can’t sleep. If it’s images of the disgusting things that’ve happened it’s images of guns and using them.
But, no, I have to act normal today. Distractions are futile, but I’ll be a robot.
I’m bound to this earth with the feeling of regret from past events. My family doesn’t make the fact that i hate every part of my being any better. Sometimes i wonder, Why didn’t my mom leave my drunk dad? I mean she could have left him and spared my childhood memories from this twirling downward spiral of pain. I just wish i could have had a better time growing up. I only had One life, One childhood, One family….i could have had a chance at being happy if my mom left him……Happiness? What the fuck is the feeling of “True happiness”, someone please explain, […]
Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, gets to me more than people who don’t understand anxiety and depression, so they treat you like you’re a whiny ***** for everything. If you don’t understand it that’s fine, not everyone does. But don’t go and treat me like a fucking ***** who whines about “stupid shit.” Until you know what it feels like to have parents hate you, “friends” who only stay around because they hope you’ll eventually sleep with them then treat you like you’re less than human because you don’t, been raped, been abused, held a knife to your throat ready to pull it… bottle of pills in […]
I’m too scared to kill myself. I’m afraid that I’ll fail, and end up screwed in some way. I don’t have much to live for, with a family that cares to much about the unimportant stuff but doesn’t care about what matters and friends that lie to me and try to make me jealous of them, and social anxiety that’s almost crippling.
My dad left my mom and I when I was 3. She found a guy when I was 8, and at first he wasn’t so bad. Now, he blames me for everything, even stuff I didn’t know about. He forces me to clean everything […]
Life is messed up that has been pretty obvious to me, yet I still find myself hurt about it. I don’t know why I hope why I even care? I’m slowly shutting down, I care less and less about any and everything.This year has been the worst of my life thus far, I’ve lost so much and there is this aching pain inside. I lost family and friends and a significant other all in a matter of months back to back. There is literally nothing left in me not a damn thing I wouldn’t care if my own family died if what little friends I […]
I started talking to this boy named Michael since I was in 7th grade & he was in 9th.. All was good we went talking off & on, he was so in love with me but we had never officially met in person so I was kind of iffy & kinda pushed him away.. Years pasted by & once I started high school he was a junior of course & me & him started to get close again.. But the times we hadn’t talked he had got a girlfriend & they had been together for 9 months.. & I was sure he was in love […]
I just feel so done lately, done with everything and everyone.I get in my car to drive somewhere and I just want to take my hands off the wheel. The thought of growing up absolutely terrifies me. I feel so depressed, and I want to go to the doctor, really I do but she told my parents last time and I would literally quit if they found out. I’m just such a private person, I don’t like big groups or other people. I absolutely detest with a fiery passion being told what to do or being mocked for being “grumpy”. I’m overweight, so overweight and […]
I quit. I can’t save people, I can’t talk to people, I can’t love people right, I can’t do it. I’m done.
Fuck everything. Fuck the images replaying in my head. Fuck my fucked up choices.
And no matter how much love and care you give to people they’re going to chew you up and shit you out. They never take you serious enough. There’s a quote I read….”A lot of you cared, just not enough.”
I’m going to start cutting everyone off now. It saves me the pain later. And this God I’m supposed to believe in knows I’m tired of it. Done being strong for everyone […]
So alone. Everything is gone, I don’t think there’s love for me besides my parents. I am a failure.
Loved someone with every ounce of your existence? And despite how you feel, have that person and people around you tell you that it isn’t really love. I admit it I am controlling, not because I had no control over my childhood or anything like that. But because I want to control the pain that I will feel. I didn’t and still don’t want to feel any type of love for anyone because I don’t want to hurt. I never trusted anyone I built the biggest of walls and yet one person got through to me. It was magic it was love it was the […]