This damn site is like the std that just won’t go away.
I get away but I always comeback.
I need to get my shit together.
Or let my shit fall apart.
Or maybe I just need to shit.
Either which way, my physical life is on the upward bound!
Alas, my mental life is slowly diminishing.
I’m missing the bridge the connects the two and makes everything fucking rainbows and butterflies.
Hello, again.
i really hope he gets a wakeup call one of these days. fuck you! i fucking changed. i don’t give a fuck if thats how i was in my past. how fucking dare you insult me like that. this is how i feel now and thats part of growing up and making mistakes. i don’t want to fuck around anymore. i have fucking feelings. i am also in fucking love and i fucking am not going to be degraded by you. fuck you. i don’t care what you say. i mean this. you just fucking keep hurting me. fuck you for tearing someone down this […]
i hate everything about my life, i am in the biggest trap and i can’t get out of it. its impossible.
Somebody told me today to write three paragraphs about something that would make me want to stick around.
So here it is. Â And it might come as a surprise:
To stop being selfless. It’s the only thing that has even slight potential to want to make me live. I realized that I’ve always done things for others. I was always there for everybody else. I always worked to please others. I made sure to take anybodies problems on to my own shoulders when I could.
Then the thing I realized that’s killing me is . . . guilt. When I can’t make things go right for anybody I […]
My past is now haunting me. I was raped when i was 13. Im almost 16 now. and now everyday im reminded of what happened. it kills me inside. i cant still feel everything he did to me. where he hit me, when stuck it in, when he let it out, when he hit me, when he kicked me while i was down, when he stabbed me, everything. i cant get away from it.and i see him every day because of school. hes always staring at me or following me in engineering. Â i cant sleep anymore. i feel myself distancing myself from my boyfriend. i […]
“There’s so much I could be doing.
So much that I want to do—even if I don’t know what it is that I want to produce.
But I can’t go faster than I’m already going and I’d rather die than stop but… where else is there to go?
I’m so… so scared of lying still and yet too mortified to switch gears.
Now all I do is linger.
In bed.
At the dinner table.
In the shower.
Everything happens but me.
And if it keeps up, I’m going to die this way… having gone in every direction
—but not having reached a single finishing line.”
Suicide Note
Before reading this, I need you to promise to God that you won’t blame yourselves. It’s not your fault. If you can’t accept this, you may not read any further.
I love you all. And I know that I’m loved. I know you did your best. Thank you for that. But just go on about your daily lives. Please. Take care of your other kids. Take care of your spouses. And, most importantly, take care of yourselves.
I’m just so tired. I don’t know how I even made it this far, honestly. So count that as a blessing. I wrote this note so that I could […]
far out.
the world is an incredible place.
how funny that we can value something like life so much when its so temporary.
i value my life with everything.
i value the history and the future, and the morning and the night, the water and the sun and snow, and the food and the sounds; i value everything that will inevitably end. if your in a relationship and you find out that it will come to a tragic end, you’d get the fuck out, save yourself the heartache right? but thats everything. every person you love you’ll loose; there all just temporary components of the illusion that is your […]
Looking around at friend’s and family I see a cycle, one I don’t want it makes me depressed. Everyone grows up and lives in cookie cutter homes has kids and slaps on a smile. I don’t want that, I don’t want to get sucked into society’s vortex. I want to be a nurse and work all the time. I feel like since i’m girl my family has the same expectations, grow up, get married, kids. I just want my cat and me, and to help people. I don’t want anyone’s expectations. I feel like i’m a burden to my boyfriend, a disappointment to my family. […]
HOW FUCKING STUPID AM I?! I MUST BE PRETTY FUCKING STUPID! IM SO STUPID! WELL FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FOR GETTING EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT AGAIN. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. IVE MADE THE DECISION IF IM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE NONE OF THAT SHIT IS HAPPENING. NONE OF IT. HOW FUCKING STUPID AM I. JUST STRUNG ALONG AND DISPOSED OF. I SAID ALL THAT SHIT WAS SO VULNERABLE AND MEANT IT. AND YOU ATE ALL THAT SHIT UP. THEN WHEN THE MOMENT PASSES, ITS FORGET IT. FUCK YOU. I AM WORTH SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN THIS SHIT. MY LOVE MY […]
It’s obvious to me. I’m throwing myself into a hole, each time getting a little deeper. Farther and farther down where I know you’ll never find me. I wanna take the pills to stop it all. I want to drink the whiskey you bought me. I can’t keep going on like this, knowing that some day you might leave me. Why did this happen? Why did I give everything up?
Why can’t the words seem to flow from my fingertips.
I honestly don’t know what to do…
I act strange, well… I understand philosophy, quantum physics and things like that, but I think the other people are harder to get.
I dunno, I think the other people act strange too.
Most of them are mean, arrogant and harsh.For example, if somebody’s got a big spot on the nose, they wouldn’t think twice to mock him or her.If somebody is overweight they’d start bullying.And so on…
I’m so dumb sometimes…
Once a girl “befriended” me and we used to talk about everything, she said things about me but I couldn’t notice she was actually insulting me, she was just having fun, laughing at […]
Almost a year, time is passing and I’m stuck here waiting for I-dunno-what to accomplish my plan.
Months , crying, hurting myself, blaming myself, feelin’ sorry for myself, suffering for the choices I’ve made, suffering for the things I’ve done and hating every fuckin’ part of me.
There are things in my life I can’t change, I refuse to deal with that.I’m NOT STRONG ENOUGH, and there’s nothing wrong with that, IT’S OK GIVING UP SOMETIMES!.
It’s ok.
I just gave up, just gave up.
Planned my suicide, everything is settled down, I’ve got what I needed, I’m supposed to kill myself last month, but […]
I’m sorry I try to help others but I’m in the same boat!
I have my frustrations as well 🙁 it isn’t like it used to be ïŒ
The things I enjoyed have lost their luster!
Sex for example, yes I loved sex ok I love it a lot! But it isn’t like it used to be :(ïŒ
The naïve thoughts, the excitement! Have lost the shine, oh I’m not saying I don’t enjoy it :)ïŠ
But I’ve done it so many times this way that way, hell I belong to the mile high club! :)Try doing that today! Ha ha! Well I won’t go […]
for some reason. the music artist Eminem knows exactly what to say.
hes a roll model to me.
i dont care about his past. and things that he has done.
he just gets to ppl. (i think)
hes the only person that knows how to keep my head up
i just listin to his music and listin to see what he went through and i think to my self i dont have that and if he can keep everything going then can i.
he talks about his life. and how he gets through it telling you to keep your head up to. and gives advise!
if […]
I didn’t write this nor do I have the author to credit. It was definitely something I’ve pondered. Thoughts?
What would I do.
“What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: “This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and […]
I am new here. I have read about your feelings and I decided to share mines with you.
Sorry, about my English… I am trying to improve, so any mistake that you find out, feel free to correct me – that is how I learn, isn’t it?
I also have my own blog – if you want to visit and comment I will appreciate your kindness – http://daysofwonders.blogspot.pt/
// March 19th //
Forget all about the motivational sentences. Forget them for your own good, because when the […]
Starring at my food but I can not eat it,
Laying in my bed but I am not sleeping,
Crying in my room and I keep it top secret,
Because people tell me they care but they do not mean it.
I’m cut open, even thought I am not bleeding.
My heart’s broken, so Imma make it stop beating.
Someone runs in the room and screams,
“He’s not breathing!”
I’m rushed to the hospital to have a Doc treat it,
But he cannot beat it, there`s no time at all,
Cause I just popped some pills with some Tylenol,
And 3 bottles of antidepressants, and Zam […]
To tell you all that everything is gonna be alright.
Ive been so far down. Came to this site once. Got a little back up again after talking to likeminded people. Fell right back down. Ive cut, I loaded my ex-boyfriends gun and held it to my head. Ive cried for days. Stopped eating for days. I have scars up my arm.
But today I’m free. And you will be to if you just hold on. I know that each and everyone of you in here are here because you have something holding you in this life. It is some reason you have deep inside that is […]
One thing I would love, to make everything easier, would be if everyone forgot I existed.
Because then I could die without causing anyone pain.
-Mention one thing you would want to  make everything “easier”.