I shouldn’t complain about my life.It’s not like I wasn’t hugged as a child or anything. I should be strong like my dad and not complain about anything.I wish I could just stand there and take what life throws at me, but I can’t.And that is why i’m worthless.I know i’m not the first girl to be bullied at school ,to have to experiance death of a friend, Not the first teenager who feels like she is the stupid kid or the first girl in the world to get moslested or the first kid to get pushed around the hospitals phyicatric wards’ system when I […]
Tag:
Failure
i have been feeling very tierd for the past few days…..memories are haunting me…..they are killing me slowly….and making me feel like i am an ignored piece of dried shit sitting at the side of the street……..i feel so tired to even cry…..im remembering everyone who let me down  and gave up on me……i dont know what i have done to deserve this….i am 19 my birthday is next month and ill be 20….im not yet in college i feel like a failure….no body listens…..nobody cares and no body asks…..dad said im cheap….and he also said he doesnt have money for me…..but he does for […]
I can’t seem to get myself to do the simplest things. I am wading through life fighting against this current that tells me it would be better if I just left this plane and stop wasting resources. I feel ashamed constantly and I can’t shake off this feeling that the future is hopeless. I am disoriented. I want to get better, I’ve done therapy, meds, drugs, and yet this heaviness, this emptiness still lingers. Even with some of the ups I’ve had this monster of a feeling is ready and waiting to take me back into the darkness.
I’m stuck between wanting to break free and […]
i fucking hate my mind. it plays such horrible games with me. i cant stop thinking about the beatings i would get from my mom. and each one is more vivid than the last. looks like im going to wind up cutting..again. such a fucking failure.
I thought I had beaten the bad thoughts, but apparently not. They’re back. Again… They’re back, they’re stronger than ever and I’m too tired to face them. I really wish people could know how many times I’ve fought this off…. How many times all I could think of was not waking up again. How many times I’ve drafted the same letter, trying to find the right words to explain to the people I love why I had to leave them. And each time, I get closer… The letter is now 11 pages long. It is placed in the right place to be found by the […]
I’m new here, I don’t really know what I’m doing here. I probably shouldn’t bother, I should just do it. All I know is I just feel so alone. I don’t have any friends. I’ve never had many friends because I’m ugly and boring and everyone that used to be my friend hates me now because they don’t understand how I feel or what I’m going through. Even the one friend I thought I’d have forever doesn’t like me anymore, she doesn’t open up to me or trust me. She thinks I’m weird. Im a girl, I’m 6ft1 and ugly and people just look at […]
hey guys just joined up, my story is about my failure to die.
it doesn’t begin in any fancy way, just with a girl, why is it always a girl? it’s been 10 years since i fell in love with her, both of us were nine years old at the time. but there never seemed like a time for us. for years we remained friends, best friends, but as close as we were it just never happened, i could never say how i felt. then she started seeing those guys, just in it for her looks and her body. she was clever enough never to […]
Elayna Isabel Carter “Layne” will be laid to rest today after 17 years of misery on this earth
Layne is remembered by those who knew her as a pathetic excuse for a human and a waste of oxygen. She was the unwanted youngest child of Phillip and Collete  and the stupid annoying kid sister of Matthew and Kristin.
Layne hung herself in her room leaving her family and so-called friends overjoyed that the emo psycho was finally dead and gone. You see Layne was a failure and a drain on society. She got knocked up at 14 and failed miserably at being a mother to her son […]
2your useless just like your father” is something I usually hear when i fail to please my mother. Ever since the divorce, our relationship has been so strained and she has been verbally and emotionally abusing me for the last year or so.my father left us and is rarely ever on the scene and is a dead-beat dad.my mom is under so much stress from everything but she takes it out on me particularly. my two younger sisters are treated like gods gift and im told to shut up and get over myself. she constantly talks about how nobody would ever want me and […]
I’m not here to judge or talk you out of cutting, overdosing, or other means of escaping. Primarily because i myself have been through it all and still am. My life has been a constant shove here and there for me to pick up the blades i keep in my makeup bag. Scars dont bother me, the pain can be grown accustomed to. I have heard just about every cliche from people who swear they want to help. I am not a reject and have always done well in school and outside. I have friends and am not a total failure as a girl. But […]
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where have i gone wrong?Â
my deep decent into depression is worse than i thought possible. i have literally lost my mind. ive driven myself mad. i dont know whats real anymore,i cant concentrate. i daydream consistently, i cant controll it, its like ny mind is trying ti escape reality. its become so severe i struggle to tell if im actually imagining it or its really happening. im so insecure, i have no friends, my family disownes me, treats me like absolute shit. im so very alone, not a single person to talk to, but thats just reality. i dont sleep anymore, i just lay in […]
I am new to this site.  I have been having suicidal thoughts for a while now…  I don’t really want to explain my situation, but to say the least, my life has been a complete failure and I want it to stop.  I don’t want to change my mind, I can’t fucking STAND ignorant people that are like “why you drink/smoke/do drugs?” Obviously because I’m lonely/depressed/have an addiction/want to forget my problems and I most certainly don’t want to talk about that.  I am not looking for sympathy, or all that jaz.  I am just looking for information.  My top choices would be 1. KCN […]
Dedication, intensity, effort, practice, determination… all those words in Gatorade commercials: sometimes you just, fail.
You get back up again, and fail again. Every failure hurts. You see people trying until they succeed, but you never see someone trying and failing all the time. If you try a a hundred times, they tell you you’ll succeed the 101st time. If you try a thousand times, you’ll succeed 1001. At what time can you quit and you’re not a quitter? You tried, you failed….. you’re a failure. You stop trying, you’re a quitter. You tell yourself you don’t care. It might even be true after a while. Passion […]
I look at myself and all I see is failure. I’m so disgusted by myself I am sick to my stomach. I would like to think that if even one person showed me kindness and compassion than maybe there’s something to live for. Maybe I’m not destined to be alone and severely depressed for the rest of my life. God, I am such a pathetic excuse for a human being. I’m so fucking worthless. Who am I kidding huh? Did I honestly ever think that anybody could ever really truly love me? No.
Is a friend just to much to ask for? Or maybe I just […]
I don’t know why I was given this life. Seriously I rather be dead than alive. I can’t stand the concept of a “god” because according to “him” he gave me this miserable life I never asked for. Now that I am alive, I have to live it because I’m too much of a wimp to try suicide… I’m too afraid of the pain. I hate my race as well, I can’t stand living in this culture with these uneducated idoits. It gets me angry just to see my race. I won’t say what race it is so I won’t anger people. I don’t like […]
it’s been along time since i came on here. I have many reasons why i didn’t come back here for a while. one of them was because on march 7th, just in time something happened. And after that alot more things happened that made that moment- not so unique anymore. for anyone that’s read my posts before, this one is nothing new- still me typing probably not making any sense i just write as i think i guess.
Im stupid in love, not with him, with the idea of what life should be. I expected it to be a certain way by now, and i expect […]
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Reminder — don’t post hateful things here.
Do not post for suicide partners or specific suicide methods either. They will be removed.
I realize the site is only trying to emphasize that they do NOT condone suicide in any way, but does anyone find the concept of posting rules to be ludicrous? I mean, if you’re serious about suicide, I’m sure you’ve come to the conclusion that it is the only freedom we truly do possess. I’m sure that if anyone on this site DOES take their own life, their post is the most important for us to read.  If for […]
I really don’t know how to cope right now.
I’m going to have to get a medical withdrawal from my calculus class because I can’t pass it. Â Making this summer a waste, and leaving me with nothing to do until August when the fall semester starts. Â I feel like the new medication I’m on is making me anxious and easily tearful- once I start crying, it’s so hard to stop. Â I feel like I’m almost always on the verge of tears. Â Smoking weed has been the only thing that has ever helped, even in the slightest, but since I’m trying to get a job, I can’t […]
tomorrows my moms birthday and while i can say i will smile and be happy on the outside thats only part of the truth but ill be crying on the inside. I havent decided if im ready to die yet ecspecially since i never seem to get it right I know if i really was ready id go to the bridge and jump off. I guess im at the point were i still do want help even though no help has been the right help. My therapist i feel like i havent talked to her in years. The last two times i saw her once […]
There was a moment in my life, where I stopped wanting things, stopped loving things,I just feel empty, joyless and disappointed.
Nothing seems to fulfill the void in my heart. Where you just can’t move forward, you stop walking, watch everyone move on and leave you behind and you’re just standing there, waiting for nothing.
The pain grows and you can’t even look back nor go ahead in your life. its seems as if you want to understand what you want, where are you going first, and you look at everyone, they don’t care, they just want to level up, and i wonder, do they even know […]