i have been feeling very tierd for the past few days…..memories are haunting me…..they are killing me slowly….and making me feel like i am an ignored piece of dried shit sitting at the side of the street……..i feel so tired to even cry…..im remembering everyone who let me down  and gave up on me……i dont know what i have done to deserve this….i am 19 my birthday is next month and ill be 20….im not yet in college i feel like a failure….no body listens…..nobody cares and no body asks…..dad said im cheap….and he also said he doesnt have money for me…..but he does for other people and things……ill just die….i think i have finally got the courage to do it….ill just end it by friday,,,,i hope he can spend his filthy money on my funeral atleast….or leave me to the stray dogs to feed on me…….it hurts though to die without being happy and without making mom smile….
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
It really sucks that you’re feeling that way. And what you said about how it hurts to die without being happy is actually so striking and true. Suicide is either like you’re giving up on the world or giving up on yourself. You seem like you’re giving up on the world, so yea, don’t you think deserve better than to die when you never got the happiness you’re entitled to. if anything take a break–much less permanent than suicide–take a long vacation and try to meet new people or even dedicate your life to helping others, whatever gives you hope and faith that things can change. Suicide’s tempting. it seems like you make that final splash and scream at the world, but really you’ll make a bigger difference, and a difference you can benefit from if you stick around. you owe that to yourself. also don’t look at it as having the courage to kill yourself, there must be a reason you waited this long. giving into that kind of temptation isn’t strong.
Don’t despair. You might feel rejected now but thats all you have known. Because you haven’t had the opportunity to experience anything else, you might feel disillusioned. There are probably things that you are unhappy about yourself. But remember, ugly people can be indifferent about their appearance; poor people can be content with having little money, lonely people do not necessarily feel the need for companionship. You get my drift. Why are these people able to persevere. It’s because they have little regard for what anyone thinks of them, they are not self conscious and accept reality. But that does not mean these problems can’t be solved. They can. If you imagine life as card game, you can’t help the hand you were dealt but if you play it to the end, there is always a chance you can beat the odds and if you don’t life would be no fun if there weren’t any challenges.