Tag:

Failure

what i want.

by b1urr 5/2/2013

written by b1urr

i want to cut severely deep.
i want to hit myself with the hardest things, as hard as i can.
i want to drown in my tub with heavy rocks holding me down.
i want to never speak again.
i want to take all the pills i can find.
i want to purge until my throat is raw.
i want to never eat again.
i want to say good bye and mean it.
i want my body to fail me.
i want the blood to keep pouring.
i want the darkness to eat me alive.

pulling me further and further down.

i will be no more.

nothing.

gone.

if only […]

5/2/2013 2 comments

not tonight; too much to do

by wormandrazor 4/28/2013

written by wormandrazor

but soon. i’m ~30. this is a long time coming. it’s been in the back of my thoughts as long as anything else at this point. i guess it just got to be where i was impossibly tired of failing at getting better, not hurting people by being unstable, etc. i always felt too much of an obligation to my family/friends/significant others, or just got scared. the utter frustration of repeated failure eventually ground that fear down. it’s a relief! it’s the first thing that’s made sense in a long time. the only odd thing about it is the surreality of getting one’s affairs in […]

4/28/2013 3 comments

I am going insane.

by VacatedHappiness 4/28/2013

written by VacatedHappiness

I think I am indeed going insane. In a heartbeat I’ll be gone from being numb to aching for a blade in my hand. I cut but I don’t understand why – I don’t feel anything. 50 times last night and I don’t feel anything. I was going to make myself homeless, but even any benefits I could’ve gained from that would’ve gone out of the window now. There’s nothing I can do to make my life worth living. So I’ll just sit here until I go completely insane or I slit my wrists, either way, it isn’t going to end well.

Due to the […]

4/28/2013 0 comment

I’m not worth it

by EverythingIsALie 4/28/2013

written by EverythingIsALie

I don’t know how to say this but here it goes:

“Useless, Ugly, Hated, Misunderstood, Piece of crap” are words to describe myself. I’ve never been help to anyone, all I’ve ever been was a bother. A bother to my parents, my friends, my relatives, my family and all. No wonder I get screamed at alot of times. I’m useless. No matter how hard I try, things always turn out wrong and dissapointing. I’ve never known a happy ending, other than those in the fairytales. But fairytales are not real, never will be. Some people will just say “Life’s what you make it”. But that doesn’t […]

4/28/2013 4 comments

Stop the World

by kissnm10 4/27/2013

written by kissnm10

Stop the world, please

I want to get off

It keeps going and going

And Iâ€™ve had enough

Iâ€™m sorry for the inconvenience

Of my emancipation

Though, you have to admit

Iâ€™ve been so damn patient

But Iâ€™ve realized a circle

Is the shape of this track

I assumed thereâ€™d be progress

Yet, only find lack

If my only purpose,

Is to live as long as you see fit

Then donâ€™t bother firing me

Iâ€™m done. I quit.

I didnâ€™t ask for this job

And I donâ€™t intend to see it through

Youâ€™re disappointed by that

But the fault lies in you

Some things are made broken

Impossible to mend

Â Not all problems can be solved

And Iâ€™m one of them

But you knew that, right?

Youâ€™re called my creator

Made […]

4/27/2013 0 comment

Kill me

by ChrisC87 4/26/2013

written by ChrisC87

Death looks pretty attractive right now.Â The other night I went up into my attic looking for some guns my parents have been hiding.Â I fell through the attic and busted up my leg pretty good.Â Needless to say I feel even worse now.Â The last two days at work I haven’t been able to stop myself from crying.Â My supervisor gave me an extremely simple straight-forward assignment and I can’t do it.Â I can’t focus or concentrate on it.Â I’m stupid and worthless and lazy.Â I don’t deserve a good career.Â I don’t even deserve a bad career.Â I deserve no career.Â I fuck […]

4/26/2013 2 comments

Can’t do this anymore

by drummer 4/26/2013

written by drummer

A couple of years ago i was classed as clinically depressed, they thought i was schizophrenic and i have been trying to end my life for about two years now, all attempts have failed for one reason or another.
In the last 12 months i have had to deal with 3 close friends and a close familiar dying, with me not being allowed to attend 2 of the funerals. All of that is on top of me not having slept a full night in over a year as I’m plagued by nightmares every single night.
After the last one i vowed to try and get […]

4/26/2013 7 comments

Out of breaths. But I’m still breathing.

by tearstainedglass 4/26/2013

written by tearstainedglass

I’m not someone who anybody would suspect to be suicidal. I’m 17. I have the top grades in my class. I’m pretty (or so people tell me). I have a great group of friends. I’m popular. I’m funny. I’m well dressed. But at the end of the day, I hate myself. I hate myself more than anyone else could possibly hate me. But I’m still here. Read this and I’ll tell you why.

As I’m typing this tears are streaming down my face. My mom just finished another round of yelling at me to kill myself and how I’m a failure who will never amount to […]

4/26/2013 1 comment

i dont want to be here anymore

by iwanttobefree 4/21/2013

written by iwanttobefree

i’ve been sitting on the floor of my room for over an hour sobbing with my razors in front of me. i can’t take the pain anymore. i can’t take knowing how disappointing and how much of a failure i am. everything hurts and i just want it to end. i don’t want to have to stay here for anyone else but me. im so trapped and i can’t get rid of this feeling. i’m sick of pretending that i want to be alive

4/21/2013 2 comments

I need to change something before it’s too late, but I just can’t.

by sono_libero 4/19/2013

written by sono_libero

This lady came to my school today and talked about the dangers of dark magic. She talked about demon possession and how she was able to conjure spirits when she was in high school. I find it all entirely fascinating, but I am getting far too caught up in the dark world for it to be safe anymore. I feel constantly trapped in darkness and emptiness. I am never happy anymore. I have nothing to live for. I stopped using drugs and cutting nearly six weeks ago, and everything has grown worse, instead of better, since then. Everything is a constant battle. Far too often, […]

4/19/2013 3 comments

what i feel almost everyday

by I_suffer_in_silence 4/19/2013

written by I_suffer_in_silence

i feel useless to this world. im not good enough for anyone or anything. i suck at everything i do and i’ll just be a failure the rest of my life. im ugly, stupid and an annoying ***** who needs to die. i’ll never be the pretty one, i’ll never succeed. my mind is all fucked up with suicidal thoughts and im not the person who i was before.Â now i just wanna die and escape this pain. what reason do i have to still be here if no one loves me, the only thing i’ll do is cryÂ myself to sleep, self-harm, and hate […]

4/19/2013 1 comment

No hope

by No Hope 4/9/2013

written by No Hope

This is my first post. I’m Â a 31 yo female, a cutter, overweight and ugly….I deal with the pain every day. My dad is getting on in years and he has been forgetting a lot lately, which makes me even more sad becuz I know that he has real reasons to be depressed and want to die, but he doesn’t. But maybe it’s cuz he forgot he wanted to. My pain is mostly from love.
In 2011 I met someone I fell in love with, hard, and I know he didn’t feel the same way. How could he, I’m me! But over all this time […]

4/9/2013 4 comments

Why won’t it go away !!!

by basto 4/8/2013

written by basto

I have been seriously depressed for 10 years now. Â I have been planning to kill myself for about 2 years. Â Just when I think that I am getting on top of it all — taking my medication, seeing my psychiatrist, managing my life IT ALL STARTS AGAIN.

I am in a high stress job. Â Before I got depressed I was a high flyer. Â Heaps of work etc, Â Since getting depressed it has all gone away, lost to me, I am worthless, I am a failure etc You have heard it all before.

Now I am starting to have panic attacks. Â I do not want to do […]

4/8/2013 1 comment

It’s happening again.

by hurting 4/8/2013

written by hurting

I thought my depression was gone; then reality bitched slapped me in the face.
Had a real shitty day today, found out my SAT scores weren’t high enough, made a fool out of myself in my language class, and got into a fight with my mom.

I feel like a failure, like all that I worked for is falling down the drain. I feel helpless.
I wanted to throw myself from the car on the expressway today, but was too much of a coward to do it.

I feel lost. I just want it to end. If life is just gunna do this my whole life, I […]

4/8/2013 8 comments

Vicious Cycle

by darksky21 4/5/2013

written by darksky21

I come here tonight to freely express my feelings and thoughts without the fear of being judged and with the hope that someone out there may understand. Okay ….let’s be honest, there’s still a shit load of fear, but I say fuck it.

I’m still having quite a rough time. My depression is weighing heavy in my head. Can barely lift it up. My isolation is at an all time high. The majority of my Â “friends” are occupied anyway. I don’t feel like I have any true friends. But I’m sure my isolation had a big part in that. I just have no drive. I’m afraid […]

4/5/2013 1 comment

Sick of going around in circles

by loren12 3/31/2013

written by loren12

The thought of suicide is constantly on my mind, you could probably say i am obsessed with suicide (maybe thats why i’m on a suicide website). Well i guess i should explain myself first, as long as I can remember I have been depressed, initially mildly but for the past 5 years or so it has been intense. My life is just one big circle and i end up back at the start, im depressed as hell for months at a time i plan the date that i am going to end it all and then when the date comes i chicken out. The reason […]

3/31/2013 9 comments

I feel like a failure and I’m scared about the future

by beelzeboul 3/28/2013

written by beelzeboul

I’m not going to graduate. I know I’m not

My family, mainly my dad, who’s beeing emotionally abusive for years and years due to school, will abandon me, or maybe worse.

I mean nothing to most people who live near me, my only friends are words on a screen and they have kept me going whenever i tried to give up

but i cant keep putting it off.

Im a failure, and I need to get out of here.

I’ve wanted a painless, peaceful death for a long time, I’ve thought about sitting in my car in the garage, but sadly ive been told it wont work.

I’ve thought about vodka+pills, […]

3/28/2013 3 comments

“Pain changes people.” -House

by Deathembrace 3/22/2013

written by Deathembrace

I wrote here 3 years ago about my pain and about my suicidal thoughts. When I look back at those days from now, I see a human that has fallen to betrayal, mental and emotional abuse. I was a kind, caring and loving person. I used to help people as much as I can and try to make things right. None at that time did really care but I did my best regardless. Then I was betrayed by my girlfriend and members of my family. Most friends did not seem really to care. Others just made things seem easy. Honestly speaking I was […]

3/22/2013 0 comment

We are all together

by DavidD 3/15/2013

written by DavidD

In reading the many comments here I am struck by the community of pain that we all share.Â There is strength to be found in this since it allows us to see that we are not entirely alone and that there are others out there who are suffering just as intensely.Â This is a comfort in many ways.

Over the past 2 years I have tried on no fewer than 4 occasions to end my life.Â After each failure I found a way to convince myself that “God wanted me to live”.Â I am now in the process of my 5th and hopefully last attempt.Â Rather […]

3/15/2013 12 comments

First Time Jitters

by wut ever 3/8/2013

written by wut ever

I got myÂ firstÂ job today and iÂ completelyÂ blew itÂ becauseÂ of my stupid anxiety. I HATE IT! ItÂ literallyÂ ruinsÂ my life like everyday. I’m such a failure and I got in everyone’s way, and I messed up orders and miscalculated. I need to get my shit straight before I jump in head first for something.

IÂ justÂ want toÂ be normal.

3/8/2013 1 comment

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