Tag:

faint

Into Darkness

by breaking_the_cycle 8/3/2017

written by breaking_the_cycle

Fate balances in my hands

A swaying lover

Caught up in the embrace

A flick of the wrist

Is all that it takes

To the darkness I awake

Nowhere fills the rear view mirror

As the answer

Makes itself clear

My future has become

Stained with your blood

The scars of tomorrow

Forged in the fires of tonight

As bells ring in the distance

Marking the end of a life

In your memories

I’ll try to hide

Shut out the world

To find something greater

Than this pain

But hollow hope will leave me afloat

To drown

In this mess I’ve made

Now home

Isn’t a place I stay

It’s a feeling

That’s washed away

The past has long since passed

Me by

Just a faint flash of pain

Hidden inside

These eyes

Keep on searching them

But […]

8/3/2017 1 comment

Desire to Die

by DarkOvercast 4/21/2016

written by DarkOvercast

It’s like a taste in my mouth..
Yes a taste, very faint, but still there
I can just see myself. Released into space
Suffocating from the lack of oxygen
Just so peacefully dying
I don’t want to blink and be dead
No…I want to feel it…to feel it slowly slipping away

I have these day dreams, where I’m in Chernobyl..
Walking down the street wearing the uniform of one of the original fire men..helmet to boots…
Just walking the empty city like a zombie
Letting the radiation turn my skin pail, my veins showing like I’m some kind of junkie,
A Fox walks up and asks? […]

4/21/2016 2 comments

Ballet Dreams

by Hazy Day Sunflower 4/21/2016

written by Hazy Day Sunflower

Rocketman posted an article some time ago about a Ballet dancer who was murdered. He was deeply touched by her story. This Rocketman is for you.

On quiet days like today I dream of ballet dancing. My feet don’t touch the ground and there is nothing but music and the faint smell of strawberries.

Be kind to yourself. Love yourself.

4/21/2016 0 comment

Recovery Update 2/26/16

by BrokenAngel8 2/26/2016

written by BrokenAngel8

Well I have officially been 5 months self harm free and the last of my scars have finally healed. thought you can still see some of them faint lite pink lines. But I am amazed at my progress though it is slow and the temptation is so real is not even funny. I am doing ok I started my new major this semester and starting to go out more. Though my depression symptoms are still there and haunt me from time to time there no where as bad as they used to be. I have not been to a counselor at any point during this […]

2/26/2016 1 comment

Another Public Episode

by JiminyCrispies 1/4/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

Graphics went okay, I guess. It turns out they’ve extended the deadline to next Monday, and my tutor didn’t see my lack of work as she was busy.

However, the morning was unbearable. I was in college no less than 15 minutes when I started to have another ‘episode’, for lack of a better word. Thankfully, it only lasted roughly 3 hours. I see my doctor tomorrow morning, first thing. And I’m debating on whether to tell him about what happened today.

I can’t remember most of it, but I vaguely remember believing everyone in college were robots and were part of a plan to attack me […]

1/4/2016 4 comments

Enter a title here

by freedomseeker 9/30/2015

written by freedomseeker

Hey there. I saw your eyes yesterday. You’re disappointed. Sorry. I might be… out. I’m actually out. I’m always off. I’m always out. I push back my chair. I hide my hands in my pockets. I lay my head up against the wall. I deaf myself out and off with music. I don’t wanna listen anymore. I just don’t wanna be here. I keep complaining all the time. Always blaming someone, something. Always wondering, about me, about the others, about everything. I live in a world that isn’t. I have to make up my own to smile. See the smile on my lips when I […]

9/30/2015 5 comments

A Poem I Wrote That Explains How I Feel Almost Every Day….

by DepressedBitch 8/2/2015

written by DepressedBitch

All my darkest fears rise into the light
Out from the cold place I left them deep down in my soul
I laugh I cry then soon i want to die
Forgetting what it’s like to live
Not knowing how to love life
Repeating this sad cycle
Breathing the same shitty air
Death would be living
This hell we call earth is rotting
I cry tears no longer
I cry blood like 1000 needles pierced my eyes
Caterpillars no longer turn into butterflies
While flowers no longer bloom
My screams become faint
Nobody hears me
Nobody cares
Because nobody’s there
I’m already dead

8/2/2015 1 comment

How’s it feel to be alive?

by LostEnigma 6/17/2015

written by LostEnigma

You can hear the sound of my voice, grip my hand, flesh on flesh, and if you cut me I bleed, but I am simply not alive. I’ve had suicidal thoughts since the 5th grade when I watched my grandmother die. I dont know why I didnt cry. Arent you supposed to? Planned and pictured every possible way to end it. I’ve done horrible things to people and I know they were wrong, but I don’t feel guilt for any of it. I hate what I see in the mirror. It makes me want to scream and break things. Why am I so different from […]

6/17/2015 1 comment

Melodrama

by RyanT 6/7/2015

written by RyanT

I just want it to be over. It’s been going on for so long that I don’t ever see myself being happy or my version of “normal” again. My validity has been lost and no one takes me serious anymore. It’s like I am the handicapped son, brother, partner and friend. I have always been very self sufficient and after the attempt I was basically forced to move back in with family. Not having a life I created for myself has made my will to survive and live to completely disappear. The only thing stopping me from ending my own life are the people in […]

6/7/2015 2 comments

by sleeplessinSTL 5/16/2015

written by sleeplessinSTL

I’m forgetting him. I don’t remember what he sounded like without listening to a video. I have a faint memory of it, but it’s fleeting. I honestly think I’m going to forget him completely. I can’t do that. I mss him and I can’t stand the fact that I’m never going to see him again. I’ll never see that cute little crinkle in his nose or his weirdly thick eyelashes. His fucking blonde hair and his stupid fucking face. I wish I could feel something. I can’t tell if I’m mad at him or if I’m sad or if im just fuckedd up. He left […]

5/16/2015 15 comments

suicidal

by queer 4/5/2015

written by queer

I see people most days that are suicidal. Thoughts, attempts, hospitalized.

I usually get them. Not all of their struggles but I do understand the struggle with death. I call it my dance with death. When the invitation. Becomes so strong and i just want to give over into the strong arms of death. I am exhausted. I am mostly able to see hope for others. But I struggle to find a space where I

can experience my own existence as bearable. I don’t see my life as worthless but unbearable. This constant undercurrent of not wanting to be. I go through times when suicide’s voice becomes a faint […]

4/5/2015 24 comments

might regret this…

by onlyoption 3/18/2015

written by onlyoption

so my self harm has started becoming a big problem. the last month ive started to scare myself on how dependent I am on it, how deep Im pushing… how vivid the thoughts of suicide are.

I asked my tutor if counselling could be kept a secret from my mum, ive hid everything from her for the last few years and I don’t want her to know im not her happy little girl anymore. but I need help- even I can see that.

so my tutor ( a psychology teacher who has already suggested counselling) sat me down and we talked, id been on the verge of […]

3/18/2015 2 comments

Optimistic

by Skeleton100 2/10/2015

written by Skeleton100

I haven’t posted on here in a while…my last note was sort of melodramatic. A lot has happened since then. I won’t delve into it.

I think I might have an answer. An answer to my depression, my self-harm, my self-consciousness. For years I haven’t felt comfortable in public, around other people. I’ve felt like a giraffe in a group of flamingos. Weird analogy, I know.

I’m a teen female, by the way. But for a while I’ve identified as more androgynous. I haven’t expressed this feeling openly (my family isn’t really open-minded). I feel more confident wearing gender-neutral/transmasculine clothing. But put me in bright tops, and…I’d fucking faint […]

2/10/2015 2 comments

Kalahari

by Skeleton100 1/15/2015

written by Skeleton100

I have to tell someone before I go – see, the world has been draining of color for a while now, all the blood seeping out like snow melting on the ground…and today I saw something. It whispered in my ear to go. There was a person smiling in the orange rock by the window, and then he was gone. He had jumped to the top of the pine tree overlooking the hotel, he was waving, waving madly, his face so faint that the wind could erase it.

This reality is a lie, it’s a sham, – I have to go to the Kalahari desert before the […]

1/15/2015 1 comment

How many of you…

by justme- 10/9/2014

written by justme-

Cross a road as you see a bus approaching far off in the distance, and wish it weren’t hundreds but a mere few feet away.
Peer over the hand rails of a bridge and imagine yourself plunging towards the watery depths below.
Drag a finger along the edge of a blade – wishing your finger were your neck instead.
Feel a faint sense of relief at the thought of others gazing downward at the lifeless body – it had imprisoned you for much too long.
Battle the urge to just jump .. to make the leap of faith into the abyss.
Become fixated upon the person you’ve wanted so deeply to know and understand, disgusted by […]

10/9/2014 2 comments

Pills

by curlylion720 10/8/2014

written by curlylion720

I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.

I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone […]

10/8/2014 9 comments

I just want to say that I love you all. As a community of fucked up people, social outcasts, great minds, the cold and lonely and unlucky people

by RogueShadow1281 4/12/2014

written by RogueShadow1281

I love you all. Been on here since i was 15. And on that fateful day I chose to look up suicide methods. I ignored the website that talked about help and such and came here. I found people who were interesting and like me. Although my problems were faint in comparison, it still meant people who were relating and also helpful in my time of need.

I thank you all for your support and to the admins even when i was a shitbag troll. I’m sorry for that. I love you all, as my great friends in a suicidal community. Talk to me on kik […]

4/12/2014 1 comment

The pain I endur.

by anders87 4/1/2014

written by anders87

I do not know where to start.
my soul is like a single dark room. How can I escape this pain?
it empties all of the energy and desire to live. I do not know why everything in my life to be so negative? it’s like a tunnel with no light just me and myself, with no way to change, only a single path. in between I see a faint light shining faintly, only to discover that it is just a small crack in the wall before the track goes straight into the deep dark.

Is suicide the only resolution?? I have endured this pain for […]

4/1/2014 0 comment

Faint me..

by givin' up? 5/21/2013

written by givin' up?

First sorry if you don’t understand I’m chilean..
Since last year I want to faint me.. Maybe my parents notice that I have problems… That I’m not giving supply ( I can’t handle this anymore) cutting, wishing to take a pill and don’t wake up never again.. Is normal?
I was normal before… But something change me as a person (psychology talking) and I’ve noticed that we don’t notice when the things start until there’s no turning back.. And you will never feel that great again.. Your past will always be there to remember you your mistakes..
Maybe fainting me things will changeâ€¦
Please if […]

5/21/2013 15 comments