I have a learning disability and right now I’m attending a university. I did the best I can to do well in school. Sadly, seems like I was not smart enough for anything. Thus, I need to end this life. I will miss my parents and my siblings, but I’m a complete failure. I did the best I can in school. I study every day and never play video games much. I know its wrong for me, but the student loans and my failure makes me want to escape this cursed world. I was not meant to be born in this world. There had to […]
Tag:
Faith
I made a post a couple months ago about a girl that I loved who cheated on me and left me. And how I thought that I had nothing left. Thanks to you guys I moved on and forgot about her. But she came back into my life and acted like snitching was wrong. I didn’t want to be mean, so I welcomed her presence. She led me on again and I fell so the same trick. She got me to care for her again and broke my heart again. I’m a moron for falling for it but the real problem is that I haven’t […]
Hey Ya’ll, my name is Leah and I want to share with you my suicide story. I just want to go ahead and start off with the fact that I love you, and I am praying for you every single day.
So, where to begin…
Ever since I can remember I have been suicidal. I have had these thoughts for as long as I can remember. I knew it was not the right way to think, that children were supposed to be happy, and the fact that I was not made me feel as if I was doing something wrong. I had trouble coping with […]
I’m too sane for this crazy world. You can’t be a man who’s word means something in a world filled with liars & manipulators. I know. I was one of those once. I did the work to change. I made my name synonymous with integrity and honor. I fought every day for my family, for others, for the underdog. Then one day everything I worked for was demolished by the person who I thought cared the most. Someone who placed the blame for their choices, choices they made years before I ever met them, on my shoulders. And I looked around and no one was […]
Im 24 years old, married, a mother of two, and i have been suicidal since the age of 12. I attempted many times, been hospitalized, been on any med you can think of, and i still cant pull myself out of this. Truth is, i love my husband, but our relationship was abusive in the past, i developed PTSD. Also coupled with molestation as a child, i have alot of anxiety. I have also discovered that i have been in love with a long time friend for a long time. I sleep with him on occasion, and i just want to stay there. Like i […]
In my past entries posted on this site, as well as my facebook page and my website: www.nolenthebeckoning.com, I have mentioned my belief in man’s evolution from fire. I have received quite a few derogatory replies. Most from people calling themselves christians. To those of you on this site who claim christianity, I do not wish to personally offend you, however it is of my opinion that christianity is one of the leading religions to plague mankind. Most of christian history is written in bigotry and the practice of condemning all others…and when there’s no others, condemn each other. As with many of my perceptions, […]
You’re not as alone as you feel right now…
I know you feel as if you’ve been cast out to sea, treading water for years and years, and you’ve lost faith in a rescue boat headed your way.
I know the waves are crashing over your head as I type this. Your limbs are aching, and your burning lungs are filled with the salty ocean.
I’ve been there. You aren’t sinking, because my hand is out… I’m just waiting for you to grab hold.
You don’t know me, and I don’t know you. I do know that I care. If you’ve read my previous posts, […]
I am leaving love around the corner with the heavens.
I am not an angel
Nor ever will be
I am something else from the darkness now.
I am leaving that side of myself where it was orignally from.
I will never be a princess
I will never be
Something that had love.
I am sorry I have failed
Memories are dead and gone, anyways
It doesn’t matter
I made a huge mistake, Tried to fix it, but I failed.
Will never be fixable ever again.
Isolation is who i was ever since
I don’t care anymore.
I don’t need help
I’m just tired of fighting for something i will never have… again
The stars have faded
and so has everything else.
Goodbye hopeless […]
Losing a great friendship for after so many years
is like you never have met them.
Strangers at the beginning with no history.
Friendship in the middle
Thought friendship was supposed to last forever
A great friendship at least.
Thought it was supposed to be
So many history together
So many memories
Just became forgotten.
So much doubts
So much distance
But it was worth it.
Now Strangers at the end
There’s no tomorrow
Only cuz there was yesterday
Change is difficult.
And at the end,
Strangers once again.
Once you told them you loved them
It just goes downhill
No hope
No light
No faith
No trust
No anything
Just nothing
But dead memories
Its true
People change
Even if they don’t want too
People will eventually change
And all you have too do is..
is move on.
Accept […]
Do you know what its like to look in the mirror and hate what you see? Do you know what its like to live your whole life the laughing stock of society? Do you know what its like to go through life hating yourself, but knowing that you can’t do anything to change yourself? Have you ever been about to take your own life, all because of the way you look? Do you have that red scar on your left arm because you know that you’ll end up cold and alone? Do you know what its like to plan your own death, just because you’re […]
Random Reminiscing , cos’ I let mom read the instructions..
(just like the bubble gum components being molded by our mouth, exchanging places to nowhere )
My clothes, school books, mags, and other toys for big men were designated to be inherited by my close relatives. I really thought she would be happy when she realizes my breathing identity is about to disappear from this lively planet, instead she scolded me, saying I had to help my brothers raise their family. So I wondered again, Am I really just the one selfish? or does it just runs in the family? Nah, we were programmed both from our […]
This is my first entry on this site; so, instead of giving an elongated sob story about how much my life sucks and appears to be in the sh*tter, I figured I’d give it a different spin to, hopefully inspire those who feel they’ve hit rock bottom. However, I won’t do the complete opposite by telling people to suck it up and take it like a man because I feel everyone has trials and tribulations of varying degrees that I cannot entirely comprehend or judge. Ultimately, we’re all different, and the one thing people on this site have in common that I wholeheartedly […]
I need everyone who is feeling bad, terrible, down, lonely, worthless, hopeless, unimportant, to take one minute from your life and think.
Think how beautiful the world is, because of your excistence. Think how much you’ve helped the others who were feeling bad, by posting your own stories. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! All of us here are just like one family. The same things, the same problems, the same stories.
Just think one minute; if not for God, you wouldn’t be here right now, reading this.
You’re God’s creature, He looks at you, and loves you even though you’re not perfect. I am not perfect. […]
Hi my name is faith I’m 16. I’m depressed and have conteplated suicide many times, but never went through with it. I’m depressed I cut myself.I’m probally every teenager.I get depressed all of the time. My first insident of cutting myself was when I was 12. My friends did it so I though I was ok. I would do it in the middle of class and was never seen. Or if I was nobody cared enough to say anything. That just made it worse. My friends saw me do it infront of them and never tried to help me. I’m now 16 and I do […]
So lonely but apparently having emotions is wrong is since I am a guy. It’s really just depressing how the world looks at my situation. Basically I’m a wuss for crying even though I have perfectly good reason to. Â Wanting to hug and kiss someone makes me needy although isn’t that one of the key thing man walks the Earth? To find love and acceptance? I was put in a crisis center aka mental hospital for people my age and you would think I would hate being there. If I can tell you this I love being in there. Sure the beds are hard to […]
I just don’t know where to turn anymore. I’ve had tons of problems my whole life, like anxiety, depression, alcoholism. My mother recently had a massive stroke in November of last year, and hasn’t recovered. And a little over a month after that, I lost my only brother to pills. I really don’t know what to do. I have never fit in this world, and the one person that always gave me motivation to keep going is now gone. My drinking has gotten completely out of hand, and the idea of getting sober and staying that way, well, scares the hell out of me. My […]
The Minute I wake up I cry because I am so sick and tired of my life and how it has been lived. I wonder what I have done wrong in my life. You know I know that i am not perfect I never have claimed to me and I know for sure I will never claim the perfection of someone…. I am not flawless like others. When i look in the mirror I stare and cry some more because I am not that pretty skinny girl every one would love to be with..
I am not perfection because I have been through so much bullshit […]
i dont get it. why. why is the world fucked, why do we have bullies, why do we have shallow people if omfg people could just be nice to everyone do u really think people would feel as worthless as they do? i dont think they would. why cant people have faith in everyone, why is this world fucked? maybe thats where the saying life isnt fair comes to play but what just cause life isnt fair we have thousands of people who feel worthless and the need to die? that is the most fucked up thing ever in this world! why do we have […]
i dont want anyone to kill themselves. not me nether
like i said in a previous post “i dont belong”
wondering what life would be on the other side. lay down all my burdens. i picked up a knife and i cut my wrist so deeply i ended up in the hospital for 3 days. im now not even aloud to handle a butterknife without supervision so to speak. im not suicidal for god’s sake. im tired. if people would let me. i would leave. if people knew how i feel. they would know what i mean.
its like jogging for miles and stop and you have no […]
I just wrote an angry hate letter to basically the whole ‘class of 2012’ at my school that I will never send. It was supposed to make me feel better, but came out more like a suicide note so I don’t know what that indicates… I am quite pleased with the closing line, though:
“Just know that actions have consequences and you have managed to massively dent one person’s faith in humanity and that is unimaginably dangerous and now too late.”
Writing that letter did make me wonder who at that hell of a school would care if I went through with it, if this subconscious […]