I thought I had beaten the bad thoughts, but apparently not. They’re back. Again… They’re back, they’re stronger than ever and I’m too tired to face them. I really wish people could know how many times I’ve fought this off…. How many times all I could think of was not waking up again. How many times I’ve drafted the same letter, trying to find the right words to explain to the people I love why I had to leave them. And each time, I get closer… The letter is now 11 pages long. It is placed in the right place to be found by the […]
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Family Member
This was taken the last day of being at a GroupHome the First time I was in it, as u can see I am very happy And all Smiles. I wanted to Escape and get away from it, as u can see I am the only white girl, I’m very self conscious that’s why I’m slanted cause I don’t like being Tall, Everyone Where I live is normally 5’1 and 5’0 but im 5’4 1/2 so I get self conscious , I Also Ran-away from this GroupHome, the staff were horrible I couldn’t Visit my family and I was Basically ridiculed for breaking out and […]
I wanted to thank one person for asking if I can use help locating resources in my town, I appreciate it, actually I already have been using resources in my area, and unfortunately being bi-polar, I am to the point in my life where I trust almost no-one. Seems when I tell people that know me I am bi-polar, all of a suddenly I am treated differently. I had an experience about a month ago one of my AA sponsors already knew me a little and long story short made me feel like a psycho, so to him I say F**** off. One last thing […]
i am tired of being a coward i fantasize about suicide for past 3 months i planning to go tonight in a few hours and drive a designated place i know that is going to be painful but it will end i just want to see if i have the guts to do it i hope that ill be able to reincarnate and try to have a better life i hope that those ideas of hell are non true as i was writting this a family member opened the door of my room not aware of my intentions i might not end up doing it […]
the Symptom Bearer
he sat angrily in his room, alone. He could hear them all talking downstairs. He knew they were all talking about him, it was always him!
Always your fault they chided him, you ruin everything.
In his family of 2 sisters and 2 brothers he was always the one in trouble, poor marks in school, always at the doctor, always in trouble somehow.
He was the Symptom Bearer.
Families are complex groups called systems. Even the simplest one parent one child family has a family system. A family system is made up of the unspoken rules and secrets of each family. Your family […]
i hate my family sometimes. family are supposed to be the ones who support you no matter what. not my family. member of my family will turn on you as soon as they have something solid enough to use against you, and tear you down. my family is all about power and control. they need to have control over each other. even if it makes the ones being controlled miserable and suicidal. they don’t care. at this point i would love to kill myself in front of my mom just to spite her ass. she so horrible to me sometimes. she knows how fragile, and […]
For anyone who read my earlier post about not getting into college, I got accepted because it was a mistake at their end. I thought my life had new meaning and purpose…… Oh how wrong I was. I haven’t felt this depressed and suicidal for months. I am so paranoid around all the other students. I don’t fit in. I probably could if I really tried but I’m a wimp. I’ve simply had enough. I’ve tried so many things to turn my life around and they all end up the same. I was extremely close to stepping in front of a car today but I […]
When you first get on to this site, they send you to the read this first page, then to [http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/]
That site recommends that you talk to someone, anyone. A hotline, a friend, family member, or religious member…
But what happens when you’re too afraid to call, or don’t have access to a phone when you are ready to turn the switch?
what happens when you’re too young to feel so old and no family member wants to even acknowledge you’re their vicinity when you’re depressed?
what happens when the man you’re in love with is too controlling and you’re not allowed to even have a friend […]
I would start with a bit of information about me (age, interests, blah blah blah) but that is just ego and unimportant, lets get to the reason i’m feeling this way.
I feel so caged and alone, i have no friends, my only family member is my dad, i have no love interest in my life as i seem to always push most females away with my “clingyness” but people just won’t grasp that all I want is to be loved and cared for, if I meet a girl I like I treat them like a princess, like they are the only thing on this planet… […]
Hello
I’ve chickened out so many times but I know one day I will do it. I do feel guilty thinking of people that have died that would have given anything to live I feel so selfish. I was abused when I was younger and cant speak to anyone cause it was a family member. I think of the family and how that news would destroy their lifes so I keep it bottled up so they can live their lifes normally whats one life compared to so many. For a while I was happy but that all ended it seems my life is just meant to […]
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