Last day to get obamacare. I’m uninsured right now and not sure if I should get it. I want to get diagnosed and maybe treated but it costs me 395 a month. I think my family’s financial welfare is more important than my mental welfare. What do you guys think? Thats a lot of money a month. Might cost me less just to pay the doctor cash.
it hurts me that my family didn’t work out the way I wanted- I wanted to have a happy family and I wanted my kids to have everything. I always thought I’d be a great mom and ever since my first pregnancy life has been absolute hell. I have three kids now and their father passed away a little more than a year ago. I was ok at first but honestly the longer I go without him the more I want to die. I have no home or car. I stay with my kids all day to take care of them because that’s what I […]
My weekend so far has been okay besides last night when I pretty much cried myself to sleep. I honestly couldn’t tell you why I did that. Is that weird or like odd? But the good thing was that no one was home because it wasn’t a very good break down. It lasted for a few hours. I had no internet/TV, or family around so I guess the quietness and loneliness got to me? I’m used to loneliness in my house but quietness I can’t deal with lately. I’ve noticed I’ve been listening to music a lot more just to make my house seem more…alive.
Besides […]
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It fucking hurts. And I couldn’t possibly tell anyone because they don’t give a shit. I was lied to for three years and it hit me hard. My anorexia is a joke to my family, my self harm scars are getting easier to hide again, and I just want to sleep forever.
I always knew someone in my family would kill themselves. My family is huge so someone had to. But I always thought that person would be me. Not my cousin. And now I realized that even though I want to kill myself I don’t want me to be the cause of my death. I want it to be because of something else. Because if I kill myself they’ll blame themselves and I don’t want people to blame themselves for something that I want. Because they won’t understand that it is me they should blame. I’m spiraling down again. I got in a car accident on […]
Yep, still alive… As a pathetic loser who doesn’t have the guts to off himself already and quit cancelling his plans so he can get high ”one last time”…
Can’t even get high now, as my family is aware of my monthly income and I can’t buy shit without them knowing I spent the cash on something.
this year has been horrid, I lost my girlfriend after a drug induced psychosis and wasted all of my money, I’ve managed to save some up again but I’m over feeling hopelessly depressed everyday. I’m buying enough pure nicotine to make sure it works, I tried oleander but nothing happened. My family will be upset but I just can’t do it anymore
I don’t think I can be saved. I’m seriously considering murdering my great-grandmother since I feel her death would be merciful for the entire family… I know killing an old lady of 103 with severe dementia is morally questionable but I know I’m immoral. I mean I think Earth will be better off without humans and would even nuke Earth if I could. Sorry animals but it’s for the greater good.
Finished my will. It was really easy. I actually feel ok. Have a few letters to write, and a long train ride to the city to procure some things. Then to leave a clean house, check into a cheap motel, watch some family guy maybe, and write something time delay text messages. I’m actually so relieved. The nightmare is almost over. Thanx SP. People in this situation need a judgment free zone like this. Such a simple thing. Makes such a big difference.
Has anyone got an idea where one might find 3 witnesses to sign a will? Assume freinds and family are out of the question due to obvious suspicion.
its been a while since I’ve posted on SP mainly because I’ve been pretty happy lately. About 2 months ago I had a big fight with my mom and I told her to shove it and that I would rather live in my car than live with her so that’s what I did. Yeah I had the balls to do it so I did I slept in my car for 2 weeks and I was extremely bored but happier than I was at home and then I told my ex girlfriend and her parents took me in because they always liked me only one was […]
Halloween sucked. Considering none of my friends wanted to hang out with me and I was left at home with no one to talk to. Now this Christmas I will be suffering under the same situation but with more sleepless nights and unforgiving depression than ever before. My family is going to Disney, the most happiest place on earth or so when it’s with those you love and care about you (my definition of it). Another vacation ruined by our “family friends” and my family’s lack of consideration for how I feel. Another anxiety driven plane ride after the other. “You’ll understand it when we […]
While meeting my husband, I need a mask that tells him that he is a real nice, caring spouse and he does knows everything about me. While meeting my parents, I need a mask that tells them that they were right in their every parenting decision, including arranging my marriage. While talking to the siblings, yet another mask that makes them feel secure and protected by their big sis. Yet another mask for co-workers and acquaintances (well I don’t have friends, Let me rephrase it, I never HAD any friends) to make them like me. Sometimes, I feel I need a mask just to look in the […]
Its going to 8am n im awake cant sleep so much on my mind i really hate feeling so sad and always thinking and worrying im so pissed off with my own family member her actions really get to me like then i get told dont worry about wat she does dont stress it but it does hurt even when my mom is upset being an only child would of been great but that is not how it is
I’ll miss this place. My family is here. I miss working here. I’ll miss everyone.
I have been depressed for a long time and still never believed I was lonely, I have family and family etc.
Just this week it all came clear to me. Nobody understands me, nobody know who I really am, they don’t care about anything I like or are interested in, so I have nobody close to talk to.
Now it only feels like I have no friends, and my family are another world away from me. I don’t talk to them, and I have nothing to say to them, if I started talking about a passion or something I’m interested in, they would be hearing my voice, […]
I haven’t been here in almost a year. I had lost my family and just could not cope. I got lucky and saved my marriage, kept my family together. I was instantly ok again. Well, it didnt last. I guess I have issues. I fucked it up again. This time there’s no fixing it. Now I see why suicides peak around the holidays. The thought of missing my family at all, let alone for Xmas, is terrible. Ive pretty much made up my mind. I dont even care about the method anymore. Im just worried about what happens to the dog, who gets what stuff, […]
i have always had an issue with following through on things…i dont know if it is me or if i developed it as a bad habit from growing up in a different place every year for 10+ years. either way, i am finally going to commit to taking my own life.
the thought of suicide has brought me comfort and relief over the past few years, but this year i have been researching and planning it whenever the classic bullsh*t in my life resurfaces.
i.e bipolar alcoholic self absorbed mum and her abusive peado husband. and all they have tortured me […]