What I thought was going to be a great Thanksgiving turned into a nightmare. My mom once again had one of her huge outbursts and just had to make everyone upset. It started out as a fight between her and my dad, they were screaming and my mom threatened divorce, and then she was fighting with my grandma. She was getting into her face calling her names and screaming. I would not allow her to treat my grandmother like that. I had to tell her to stop. Then she was following me around the house screaming for me to give her my phone. She kept […]
I am one of those hero-to-zero types, and I cannot bear the disappointment and shame I’ve put on my family. I wake up every morning wondering why I am not dead. If I wake up at kike 3 in the morning, I get hit by a tsunami of sadness, because I only have 2 hours before I face the world. Face the ones I have disappointed.
God, 1 year ago, I would have laughed at myself for being so emo. I can’t laugh now.
My father is so disappointed in me; it breaks my heart.
I don’t even know what I’m doing writing this here…I haven’t told anyone, […]
I’m a 23 years old Asian girl. I’m sorry if my English is not good (also posting by my cell phone) and my life story is too long. In my country, my family was quite poor and I wasn’t really good at studying. My only hope was not to become a failure like my parents. I hated my father for being so helpless and not trying hard to take care of my family. When my aunt suggested for my family to immigrate to the country I’m living in right now, I was thrilled with joy. I hated my country and their education system. All my […]
…never knew/barely knew your extended family?
How many only children here?
Raise your hands, friends.
(Misery loves company, right?)
I find my post is different than most but also has an underlying similarity…. Suicide aside. I’m almost 30. I have a good job, the usual BS to deal with. I’ve travelled the world. I’ve seen amazing things and experienced one of a kind moments. I’ve laughed till I cried, I have stories that could lead to movie bestsellers…. I could list a million reasons why I shouldn’t kill myself but the hurt I carry with me is too heavy.
Like others, my childhood was not perfect. Lots of fighting, confusion and pain, but that’s not what I blame. I grew up as the youngest of […]
I mistakenly got excited–not a lot, but enough to allow me to become disappointed when everything fell through and nothing turned out how I thought I would. I do not get excited very often. I loathe excitement and people who feel it a little too often for my tastes. They are more liable to get their hopes up, as well, which would make me feel bad for them, which would then just make me feel bad in general. Anyway, I went home for Thanksgiving break from college and for some reason thought that I would feel better, that being around my family would make me […]
I remember the day I found out I could actively take my life. It was the first time I realized I could die. It was freshman year. Two kids died that year. I knew them both fairly well. I guess that’s when it all really started. I knew I wasn’t like everyone else, but it seemed okay. I thought I would grow out of it. I didn’t.
I remember the day my life changed forever. I found my birthfather, or rather he found me. I made the mistake of meeting him. I remember shortly after my adopted dad found out he had a daughter much older […]
finally my death comes, my breathing is really bad again…
these are my last word in this site… I need to write something for my family too, I want to thank them for everything… bye…
thanks everyone…
My Name Is: Inuk ***** goodbye…
….There are so many of us. So many of us who feel suicidal and want to harm ourselves. Yet most of us say we hide away and/or try to fit in. Why is there this pressure/stigma to depression that just adds to the guilt we already have. Scared of hurting family and friends by telling them how we honestly feel. Other people can be selfish, put themselves first, are taught to look after themselves if they are treated wrong or are ill, but feeling suicidal doesn’t get anything other than a raised eyebrow, or a look of fear from people like you are going to blow […]
Few things about me. My name is Kiriakos. i am 32 years old. I am from Greece. I have to say that i have been diagnosed with Depression symptoms.
I am a very sensitive guy and probably overprotected by my family from my early years. I have friends but as from a gf i was very lonely since my early years. I was bullied mostly mentally at school every single day, i had problems my family to understand me and during the age of 16 had agoraphobia (i manage to pass it alone after 3 years). i was ugly as a young child and this let […]
I’ve been basically alone for 2 years straight, my family is “against” me for a couple of reasons. But anyway, i feel like i have no purpose to go on, really, i’m depressed, i don’t have REAL friends, i was bullied last year in school, and my family thought it was just a “phase”, i’m constantly critiziced for my looks and ideals, i’ve had so many people going in and out of my life, so many liers.
I have nothing to do with my life, i’m not interested in studying a career, i don’t have a hobby even tho i’ve tried many things.
I consider […]
So I have done everything I can to try and turn my life around and it just seems all I do is make it worse. I am now homeless, and jobless. My own family is basically not wanting to help me anymore – and I barely have any friends.
I will die by the end of the year and I am researching how to do it – I hate this world. People keep saying God has a plan for you – Well my name isn’t Job okay – I just feel I must have done something really horrible in my life to have my life be […]
A family member and two celebrities killed themselves this year. We know Robin Williams, but another is a well-known innovator in the veterinarian world (Sophia Yin). I relate to Sophia the most.
People around me tell me that I’m amazing and can’t believe what I’m accomplishing; I’m such a good friend; I’m an amazing animal trainer. They confide in me that they are ultra depressed. One family member is in/out of a mental ward. My mother and father are now gone; my brother doesn’t keep in touch. I contacted someone who once loved me (I think?) but who always hurt me…I’m forgettable or ignorable or… Why […]
I deleted my old post because well it was just another cry for help answered by the very reason I despise my life.
Honestly, would any of you converse with other humans if you were in my situation? Everywhere you go there’s people on phones or in person (wherever I go) having fake conversations just to get a reaction or to harass me. Fake conversations. Such as the ones going on in my last post that I deleted. It drains the life of me. It’s so ridiculous. The relationship between me and my family is truly lost forever. I’ve never been closer to telling them all […]
I’m looking for a short term coping mechanism that allows me to remain functional and that won’t lead to a downward spiral that damages my family – something I can keep hidden, and that won’t ruin my health and make things harder long term.
I don’t fancy cutting – I don’t like scars, or the sight of my own blood.
I’ve never found alcohol particularly effective, and the lives of alcoholics seem to unravel frequently.
Likewise, other recreational drugs seem to lead to a downward spiral. I don’t wan’t to end up on the street, or forcing my family to intervene, or getting a criminal record.
I haven’t really […]
I’ve wanted to kill myself since I was very young. I was raised knowing that I wasn’t very much liked in my family and knowing I’ve caused so much pain over the years just existing is killing me inside. Nobody deserves the things I’ve done and I just can’t be this person anymore. When my mom got pregnant for me she was cheating on my younger sister’s father with my father, who was dying. When I was born my mother want allowed to tell many people about my real father because her boyfriend didn’t want people to know. My father died the day I turned […]
It’s not like I think everyone hates me although I have never been loved by anyone except the people that are obligated to do so. We can’t choose our family someone once told me. If we could…would I have been chosen at all? I know that my absence will be a momentary sadness. I have been alone for so long. Fading in between the lines of their book. Into the crowd, just a forgotten ghost. I don’t even know how to handle company outside of family. Before it perturbed me deeply. But now I prefer to be alone. It is safe, predictable even if the […]
just saw a christmas countdown on the news.37 days til christmas.where the fuck did the time go?
now i’m all anxious since i haven’t found a job, been unemployed for almost a year.and it’s crushing me since i promised myself that i would make our family’s 2014 holiday celebrations grand.i’ll fund it, make my parents happy and proud,be the best eldest sis giving presents to my siblings.give grown-up gifts to my relatives as a sign of gratitude.bake a lovely cake, impress my bf and his family.
shit, i’m not going to be able to do any of that.none of that.i’m a fucking disgrace, a loser.it’s making […]
Hello. This is no a cry for help or pity or advise. It is just me … me on my own isolated wanting to end it all. My son lives abroad … I was due to spend xmas with him and his other family. Today the news came I am not welcome. Devestated. I have no one else around me. My mum died 2 montths ago. I think of dying every morning every night and even when I sleep. I hate pain so need a painless exit. The pain I feel in my life is real and strong. I am crippled by my emotions and […]
We are all on here for different reasons and have been driven to consider taking our own lives due to a wide range of experiences. We are a diverse company of sufferers. And that is as it should be.
I haven’t posted here with any regularity in many months. I’ve been in Puerto Vallarta since August 1st and will return to the states on Jan 26th, as planned.
Its been a time of great introspection, highs and lows and just plain old acceptance of who and what I am, and what is possible for me. I […]