This is a request for advice from those who have had a family member commit suicide. I am attempting to finalize my funeral arrangements so that I can prepay for the services. I have already purchased a burial lot in the small town where my father is buried, about 2 hours from my home town. That town is about 4 1/2 hrs away from where all my in-laws live. I have some distant family members who reside near where I will be buried. I have little contact with my family members in my hometown, and no friends who will miss me. I will soon have […]
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family
I know you aren’t to bring religion onto this site, but it’s important in order to understand why this is hurting me.
I grew up in a strong Christian family. We always go to church and pray and follow the Bible. But that’s the problem. My family had their minds set on what was wrong and right, and they weren’t going to change what they thought. According to the Bible, two people of the same gender are not to be together. But that’s what depressed me.
I met this girl and to me, she was everything that I’ve ever wanted. But again, I was from a “Christian” […]
Hi, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Please let me introduce myself: I am a suicide. “A suicide…?” you say, with some shock, thinking I have just made a joke in very poor taste. Yes, a suicide is what I am. I have been dead for some time now, emotionally and spiritually, if not physically as of the time of this writing. My actual name does not matter, nor do the majority of my life’s circumstances. I was never a happy person; that is not to say I had always been sad, or down, or any other state implying the opposite of ‘Happy”, merely that […]
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always felt alone. Even though I grew up around a loving family, had siblings, cousins and friends, I still felt absolutely alone. I have always had this yearning to belong, to feel loved and to feel connected to someone or something.
I’ve always kept a diary and I use that to vent my frustrations or to release anything that I thought about obsessively. Now, at 28 I feel more alone than ever before. I truly feel like no one cares about me. Throughout my life, I’ve cried so many times and have felt so much unexplainable hurt and […]
Love to me is the look in my families eyes, my Mothers regrets and pain stab me through my Iris and cut through my heart when I glimpse into her aura. Bipolar has take over the family since the beginning, and my family still wonder why they are all so confused yet so content. I cannot lie to another, it burns my soul if I have to deceive another.
Every day is a reminder of my childhood, sitting against the cold damp step, hugging the bricks hoping to generate bodily heat. Alone and cold. This was my earlier realisation coming into action. “I am alone in […]
I think I’m done with people. I wish they’d at least give me a chance to die without having to suffer with this melancholic mind of mine, but people never fail to disappoint. A peaceful escape is just too much to ask for. I have no friends outside of the family, only feeling okay with my mother and brother. Each day, I feel like I am drifting further apart from them as well. I’m losing interest in talking to people as there is nothing to say. My connections are based on nothing more than materialism. People just can’t connect with me emotionally, philosophically, etc., or […]
Hi all,
I found this site accidentally whilst researching suicide options on-line and I have to say it is quite comforting knowing there are so many people out there that are battling with suicidal wishes…
A little about me…
I am 30, female from UK. I have struggled with depression from a young age and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder last year.
I showed a lot of promise when I was young, teachers constantly commented on my academic ability and apart from general rebellion I was a good kid, that was until I was 12. I was sexually abused by a family friend and that was the kick start […]
Almost two weeks ago, my almost ex-husband killed himself. We were going through a divorce, which he didn’t want. It had gotten ugly because he was using our son as an emotional tool to hurt me. Our son is 11.
A policeman came to my work, took my in my office and told me to sit down. The officer told me that his brother had found his body. I had to tell our son that his father was dead. Funny thing is, although I was so sick of him, I seem to be having a harder time with this than my son is. I’m so angry. […]
I know from experience what getting close to that moment is. I know it emotionally and physically. I have the means. I’ve just got some family matters to sort out and then there’s nothing standing in my way. It’s liberating, THAT moment.
Mid 20s, female. I wanted to go to grad school but my GPA is a bit below 3 so I feel like that decimates my chances. My degree is useless without going to grad school. I feel like a failure. I struggled with depression and weight my last year which made me lose my good GPA I have worked to lose 100 lb but I am still unhappy inside. Been on meds all my life but the depression is still there, deep down. I’ve always thought about the possibility of killing myself in a painless way. Death has fascinated me since I was 5.
I […]
Fuck, I can’t do this anymore. Can’t get up, can’t go outside, can’t make friends, can’t lie to my family anymore. This pressure is too much, like my head was exploding. I don’t wanna die, really. There’s beauty in life but I am not destined to feel it. I need someone to give me a purpose, someone to share a lifetime with. I don’t want to get this university degree for myself, I don’t fucking need it. I could as well get a job at a local IT firm, enough to pay for a small apartment and everything I need. But that’s not the life […]
Maybe if I get it out I’ll feel better. Maybe my next life will be better but I want to leave this one I’m tired of it. All this shit is past mistakes silly decisions. It would be better if I would accidentally get shot or hit by something big. Just so my family don’t feel so bad about how I died. I don’t understand why God just won’t do it cause God know I don’t wanna be here. I put to much faith in people that’s one of my problems and I always get let down friends, girlfriends, family it don’t matter. What happened […]
so I guess this is my own first personal entry here. sharing personal stories has never really been my thing but I ll give it a try.
I grew up in a what most people would probably call ‘golden cage’.
daddy a big-company manager, mummy a doctor. broom-stick-up-their-asses-rich-people.
From early age on I was their marionette; had to learn how to play the piano so they could show off with me at their business dinners; made me take ballett lessons; the list is as long as time and filled with various stereotypes it s not even funny. Whenever I did not obey I was either beaten […]
Day 18 and my fingers still itch for the blade. Will the urge to cut never go away? I’ve found that when I get a papercut or trip and fall scraping a part of my body brings the same kind of relief that cutting did. Mary’s boyfriend called me a whore when she brought me up in conversation. He doesn’t like me very much… I came out to my schools GSA under oath no one would say anything outside the group. When my parents find out I’m afraid of what is gunna happen to me. My family loves very conditionally. I hate it. I can’t […]
I feel so pathetic. My life hasn’t even been that bad. I’ve never been physically abused by anyone. Both my parents are alive, and my family isn’t poor…
So why do I feel so depressed… So empty? I feel so tired, but I’m only 13. Why?
Maybe it’s because I have to put on a mask whenever someone is around, after all it’s been that way since I was 9… I think I’m even starting to trick myself with my own mask.
I feel like an actor in a play I never auditioned for… My script is prewritten and made to deceive, my mask to convince. I can’t […]
My life, in a run down, boring, memory encasing, hell hole, will soon be over. My friends greater than anyone before are taking me out of this place. I’ve lost so many people here, my family, lovers, and some great friends but now I can see it coming to a close. I can’t wait to say Fuck this place, and now go live, have a new beginning. My arm is messed up and my head and body are screaming for this now. I know this is a beginning to something better. I love you, my family, I love you Cristina, I love my friends here, […]
Okay, so few weeks ago I posted about my dad commiting suicide and lot of you were commenting about how you wish for your dads or family to be dead.
Let me tell you that before all this I wanted my dad gone as well. He had done horrible things to me and to my mother. He had been always drunk and had played hazard games, spending all his money. And I hated him, for all the pain he caused. But be careful what you wish for. Once your family is gone. There is no way back. And no matter how bad they are on […]
I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.
I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone […]
I have been cutting for about three months now. I cut my wrists, legs and stomach. I have been very good at hiding them, at least I thinks so, but now I have a problem. I’m sick therefore not going to school and left alone at home for the day. My mom’s friend is a doctor and my mom asked her to come over and check upon me, find out why I’m sick and how to recover. I’m so scared that the doctor is going to make me undress, because I’ve been to doctors loads of times before I started self harming and many times […]
The cops were called today. They want to “help”. I just want to die, continue cutting and not live in this hell hole of a town. One of the three!! I have the perfect place to live in a different city with friends that are more willing to help me out than my own family. Now I don’t think I can go to the place I once called home.