I think I need to be heard. I’m not looking for any help or something like that; I just need that people shut up and let me talk.
Well, all this start with me when I was a child. My grandfather is a pedophile and he raped my cousin when she was eight. When I knew about it I start thinking about all the time I spend with that man when I was an innocent and weak girl. By the way, I knew about that because my cousin told me, no one else in my family was enough decent for telling me about it. In my family what […]
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family
they tell me they are proud but yet they tell me i am the reason they never had anymore kids. they tell me i dont have good enough grades that i need a scholaarship but yet they offer to pay the precious chosen first child they will help pay for his. when he moved out they gave him every family heirloome am i a daughter or a slave. i dont want to be an acessory. i see the fake love in their eyes. they take him everywhere i have been on one vacation i can remember with them th other were with my grandma. my […]
My aunt died after having cancer for four years. It was six days before my twelfth birthday. I was in sixth grade.
I felt nothing.
Jump forward a year and three months: Christmas 2010. During my seventh grade year.
My grandparents were crying while we were opening presents. It had something to do with a photo album, sent by my uncle, which had pictures of my aunt in it or something.
My depression started then. It’s lasted for almost two years now, getting progressively worse. It started out as grief, and from then until the first few months of eighth grade, whenever I’d hear about cancer or suicide I’d […]
I’ve been sitting long and hard trying to think of the words that would be just right and not hurt or upset anyone. I hope you know who you are, we’ve always been so connected in life, 2 halves of one whole, and I don’t think now is any different. If you’re reading this and its not aimed at you I hope you also take some consideration that I’m sure there is someone in you’re life who feels exactly the same way about you as I do about her.
I know you feel that there is no way out, but I’m here to guide you through […]
have you already chosen a date ?
april 15th or 16th for me ..
my mom (04/06) and cousin (04/11) birthdays are coming up and I don’t want to fuck it up for them .. after the 11th, I’ll have ran out of concern for people feelings .. they’re grown enough to grasp I cannot contribute to their well-being when I’m dead inside and have become very negative .. it’s funny because if I had a child, I’m not sure I’d have considered suicide as an option till (s)he’s at least 20 .. anyway: death, life, politics, religion, fuck all of it
give me death or […]
My family can’t seem to grasp the fact that I have a problem. They all think that I am making myself sad and basically faking everything. For what? I have no idea. Maybe they think I’m trying to get attention or to be rebellious. I am, however, 100% clinically depressed and in no way “faking” this or making myself sad. If I liked being sad, why would I be constantly thinking about suicide? I would try to stay here as long as possible to wallow in my own self pity, but I want to leave as soon as possible. I went to see a therapist, and […]
Well, im going to write here everyday. Just to get my thoughts out.. Just to know someone is reading and listening to my story, cause somehow I feel a bit better knowing at least someone knows my story..
Anyways, my mom and stepdad(who might as well be my dad.) divorced about 6 or 7 months ago and i listened to their wedding song.(lets stay together – Al Greene) im not going to lie it tore me apart. I miss having a stable family and i hated sharing my holidays with my dad and family without this seperation. i HATE going for weekends, and having to […]
The days seem to get longer and darker everyday , I light one up and take another shot , yeah things will get better if im not sober . I get hit once again slammed into the wall . yet i take that for im a piece of shit . No one knows what happens when the door shuts . They think I laugh smile and have a good time . But deep down inside im dead , have been for a very long time .
i didnt know what to do until i decided to move in with you again . The drugs came […]
People always seem to ask why im never smiling or lauging . too many people ask whats wrong .
No one sees the scars on my stomach , legs , or wrist , people dont really get that shit gets real behind closed doors . No one knew for the longest time that i used to cut night after night after night . My family would be up stairs and I would be taking another razor to my body , making new or re opening cuts . It got to the point where my mom didnt even notice me anymore . she took his side […]
I feel like SHIT today. I could berely get out of bed. And today is supposed to be ”family day”. Great! I don’t wana go anywhere or do anything or see anyone. I just want to be aloneee. The cuts that I did a few weeks back are now scars. But I cut pretty bad so the scars are very noticable, even with my newer cuts. But I like them. They remind me. And in some way, make me feel a bit better. But they also make me wana cut more, and make more just like that. I make sure I pick the scabs so […]
I hate it here.
I can’t talk to my mother freely and if I go up to her while she’s just sitting there she always brushes me off or doesn’t respond. My grandmother is a callous and bitter. I’m afraid I’ll end up just like her. I don’t feel like I belong with my family at all. I stay in my room all day because I can’t stand being around them.
My boyfriend acts like he adores me and then he gets mad for no reason and I feel terrible. I always end up apologizing. I don’t want to break up with him because he’s […]
I’m here to tell my story. When I look back on it, it seems like a really stupid fucking life I’ve had.
To make it clear, I’m a 14 year old Australian male, so ill be using the Australian-English ways of spelling. Pretty much all of the trauma that I have gone through is because I was insecure about me being gay.
All of this started around July of 2010.
Everything was going great. I had great friends, family was ok, and I was secure. Then, in the mid year school holidays, I went on a holiday to America. It was really good, but I’m not here […]
i’ve been taking pain pill almost everyday for about 3 years now and it’s destroying my life. Â im going to my first counseling/rehab meeting tomorrow, and i’m scared the withdraws are going to lead me to think about suicide more than i already do. Â i sniffed my (hopefully) last two 40mg opanas a few hours ago. Â The place i’m going really pushes its patients to take suboxone to curb cravings and withdraw symptoms, but i can’t afford it. Â i’d rather kill myself than be a burnout drug addict the rest of my life. Â my loving family is the only thing keeping me from blowing my […]
I hate life so fucking much. I hate everything. I want to die so much, I want to hurt, I want the shit beaten out of me, I want to have reasons for wanting to kill myself but I have none, and I have like, two friends left after The Betrayal.
But i cant do it.
I cant kill myself, Im afraid, not of death itself, but leaving oppurtunities.
I want first love, first kiss, first time, I want to see my little cousins grow up with me there.
But I hate life.
I have a house, food, clothes, family, all that you basically need.
I feel utterly alone in this world of misery. I just want to say that it would be nice if someone here could support me and talk to me?
I know i sound pathetic,
but hey its worth trying!
I see hope for my future, but its really lonely with no one supporting my depression. not my parents, not my twin, and ill say it, i have no friends.
14 years old trapped in miserable california.
just a girl trying to be different, but in trying to be different i need support. and no, this is not an invite to creepers. just people who understand […]
As always, it’s a fight between putting up the bluff tough guy appearance and being honest with my feelings. Outwardly, I’m a 6’6″, 300 lb ex-bouncer with plenty of experience with armed attackers. Inwardly, I’m still the scared 9 year old cowering in the corner. But I’m getting ahead of myself, giving the wrong impression entirely and going in two many directions at once. Seems that’s my way.
Let me start again. I was diagnosed with a fractured personality disorder a while back. I can thank my degree in Psychology which hangs unused on the wall to fill in the blanks the cheap psych profiler missed. […]
5 Years I’ve been depressed.
Alot of people say It’s not important who they are but I want to share who I am, My name is Salem, I’m 16 years old, I’m 6 ft 2.
So 5 years depressed now, my family is slowly falling apart my mother has a mental dissorder, my father married another woman while married to my mother and had another son and doesnt give a shit about me. tests are here I can’t study this language because I don’t understand what the hell it says. for about 3 months now every night I take a knife from the kitchen and […]
I am a twelve year old girl who has been put through shit in the past few years. I’m not sure where the problem began, but I’m trying my best to find out.
I think it started last August, when my “friend” Shelby and I tried cutting ourselves with sticks. She did it for attention, while I did it because I thought that maybe it might help. Little did I know that I was committing myself to this life (because I’m such an idiot). She made scratches on her arm while I was trying to make it bleed.
In middle school, things started to get worse. I […]
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