Im back to where I started this time in front of my parents I bit myself as hard as I could in front of them. They said I need help but my whole family does. I just got in a relationship with a girl I have been dying to be with. And now my mother treats our relationship like its her messed up marriage saying I give her too much attention and soon she will get tired of me and not love me anymore. She even had the audacity to go to my girlfriend and tell her “Dont distract him from what he needs to […]
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Nights like this I wonder why I’m here
I have so much to say to cry for and of course no one is near
I feel everything but fear when it wins.
I just wanna end everything at once
I don’t see a reason to why I’m still around. Not one fuckin reason.
Everyday it’s something new.
It’s not anyone’s fault, but I do wish you knew
I yell and scream the pain away
But when it’s inside I can’t bare but to stray
To stray to a place where no one can go
There, no one can make me smile or hurt me
No one can say […]
I am looking at all of my posts on my wordpress via SP. Under my latest post it says that I received mail on the far right side. When I go to view this mail the website says “you don’t have….”. Curious how I might view this mail.
Any help would be appreciated.
I mean i’ ve never done this before,”speak in public”. The only thing i ve ever said in public was a druken “just stitch me up and let me go home,i need some sleep”. Yes i attemped a suicide 2 years ago only to find out that i was far more messed up than i thought. I will spare you the details.
This is more of a desperate move, i actually don’t want to talk, but the whole idea,and site which i found looking for the right,or wrong, dose of sleeping pills,distacted me so… I have gone really far since then. I got into a […]
It’s been a long time since my last post here. I like to think of that as positive improvement, yet for some reason, during my breakdown today, coming here was the only thing that made the tears stop flowing.
I’ve been feeling a great deal of pressure lately. My sister has been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now. The past 2 years to my knowledge. This year it got really bad. She stopped going to choral practice and missed a lot of her senior year. She simply stopped doing anything that used to matter to her. So I convinced my parents to send […]
I’ve decided to give peace to my weary soul and shed the shell of human self. I have spent so much time going in and out of the reality of human existence, to realms far beyond the soul. Death and Rebirth without intention. My soul is eternal but this flesh is weak and poisoned. Is there salvation for aching bones and tethered flesh? A mind decayed by substance, a soul that cries for renewal. “Feed me to the bliss of abyss” pleads my soul. When i open my eyes and I realize I am myself again and I look at my skin and I […]
And I can’t make myself study for any of them, I just don’t have the energy. It takes every bit of strength I have just to climb out of bed in the morning. This is bullshit, I’m thinking this summer will be my last. I’m gonna go visit some family on the other side of the country, come back to CA to pick up my crossbow and hike far enough into the woods that the smell of my rotting corpse won’t bother anyone, then I’ll put a bolt through my skull. May seem excessive, but I’ve survived ODing twice and an attempted hanging, so this […]
Okay, so here is the link to read what I have written so far of my short story. I’ll be updating it probably daily, and would really like your opinions on it. Thanks.
How long have you been depressed and when did you first start getting treated for it?
by gwerg
written by gwerg
I’ve been extremely depressed for 4 years now (basically my entire teenage life) and have yet to seek any medical attention, like an idiot. So out of curiosity, how long have you been depressed, when did you start getting therapy and how has it been so far? Will be looking forward to every response. I am extremely depressed and closed to the edge but I doubt anything will truly help me.
Recently I decided to take matters into my own hands and end my life. I’ve set the date (New Years Eve) the time and the place. I have even decided who I want to be present. The thing is, I am not actually that suicidal. I just understand that I have no further use on this planet. More people need to come to this realization. I have been kicked out of school and have a pretty crappy future because of a lack of new options for my life. I’m far too intelligent to work at McDonald’s or Wendy’s forever and quite frankly it is beneath […]
I wonder how far in desperation I’ve fallen to resort to this online community to vent my feelings.
I’ve looked up many ways to cope with depression and anxiety, but everything just sounds so fake and cliche..
Things like “don’t give up hope”, “relax your mind”, etc.. Am I the only one who thinks this way?
I can never take advice like this.. it’s sooooooo cliche and shows no compassion whatsoever.. well what do I expect.. I was just one WebMD for this shit.
How do I even cope with this misery? And why can I never like myself and forgive myself?…
today i’m writing out the pros and cons of my chosen method. cons outweigh the pros by far, but i’m not sure that’s going to be enough to stop me.
I hate this unborn thing. I wish I could get rid of it but the father wants it. Im too far along to get a pill abortion. Most people I know are excited about the thing. I dont feel any connection to it. I HATE it. Im not ready for a leech Im never going to love. I wish it would hurry up and die so I can get back to my life or death or whatever Im looking for. I hate you leech. I will never learn to love you. I HATE YOU!
As a futurist, i got to thinking last month – What if we passed a national law that would allow everyone who is alive today, to have there brains preserved by cryogenics upon death until science and technology advanced enough to not only bring us back but far enough into the future were suffering abolition is scientifically possible?
I say just the brain to save space and money. I believe that in the future, 3D printing like tech will advance enough to build an exact but better replica of your body around your brain. Along with your original brain, there will be your original memory, and implanted memories […]
But I have to suffer. I got ditched. She’s just a ***** cause she don’t want to understand. Unanswered emails, phone calls and texts. Ignore me, that’s a good way to heal a man.
I bet you’re living the good life now
Probably got back with your old boyfriend who treated you like crap
But I was the bad one
You couldn’t understand me
I hope you’re happy
I’m no longer a burden
Only on myself.
My name is Kristin! I am 15 years old. About 8 months ago now, my life was a bit hectic. I was living in Thailand at the time. I had a handful of friends, but I never got to hang out with them, because they were busy during the week and I was busy on weekends. SO therefore, I felt very alone most of the time. Being on the opposite side of the globe from everything I had ever known didn’t help much either. I felt lost and alone. I didn’t think anyone cared about how I felt. One day, I was at home alone, […]
the only thing that’s been keeping me here so far is my family, and the chance that they would really go through a lot of pain and grief if i died. but lately i find that living for other people is not enough anymore. i’m barely hanging on as it is. each days gets more and more hopeless. more and more i just want to end it, and sometimes i doubt the people in my life would really mourn me all that much anyway.
All my life, i’ve been hopinh that the future will bring something good. So far my life has been filled with pain, I know it may seem how I have it easy compared to other people with real problems, but every time it comes, it hurts so much. Mosts nights I spend crying myself to sleep. This has happened for the past three years. My only hope and is that I have someone to be happy with, she held me up, she made me feel that I wasn’t trash, that I could be something, that I was human. Even with her being around whenever it […]
Ten people in my world have succeeded – that double edged word – in destroying themselves. Father, cousin, nephew, friends, teacher, aunt. Two drownings, two by gunshot, two by hanging, one by jumping, three by medication/suffocation. Broken worlds left behind, but I know the abyss to well to blame any of them. Four men and a boy, five women. Ages 14 to 90. Into the dark. Never, ever far from my mind.
Every single time I push myself towards doing it thats all I can think of…and my teacher wonders why he has to chastise me for taking so long to get started on it…
But this is what I chose…out of all the things I could be, I chose what I liked best, and its enough to drive me to the point of suicide…
I either need to start working or bite the bullet already…but oh no, those aren’t the two only choices obviously…there are never two choices; I could try and join the military again, if they’d take some suicidal person like me who has scars on […]