I can’t share with anyone how I feel. None of my “friends” come from a broken home. I haven’t talked to my mother since Christmas and I can’t trust to tell my grandmother anything in fear of her telling my mom. My dad ignores me all the time and acts like “sorry son I didn’t hear you” and he try’s to cover up how he resents me. Seeing as I was an accident you would think he would have just put me up for adoption as a baby. My brother to. We just found out recently who my brothers real dad was and our mom […]
I know I keep posting…basically I guess I am trying to get my thoughts,feelings out before I die. I dont want to be saved,Im too far gone at this point. I think as I draw closer to the end I just need to purge this poison as much as possible….so bear with me. Or dont,I guess no one needs to read this. Dont necessarily need a reply.
Had another huge fight with BF on phone last night..still refuses to come back home,now trying to say he wants to talk to my therapist first. he keeps threatening to stay down there and never come back. His goddamn […]
While I write this i fear of the pain i will cause with this simple action,
But i will confess the true. I have been trying to kill myself for a few
months now. I was learning electrons to make my own defibrillator and will be able to fine all my research under Research on Defibrillations. (Tomboy notes) After a month or two upon finding out that this will not work, I tried to overdose on aspirin. When i didn’t die i did some more research and found out that the mortality rate for an aspirin overdose of more than 300 mg/kg is less than […]
Is it really ‘pain’ that brings about the desire to kill yourself? I’m not in pain. But I’m not happy either – I feel almost nothing at all, I just think. And my thoughts don’t make sense. It’s just numbness, and sometimes anxiety. Nothing at all or crippling fear and self-hatred. Life is just not coherent. Why is anybody bothering to stay?
I’m a 26 year old male, depressed, chronic procrastinator, without any sense of meaning in my life. I hate the world we live in, so much is wrong, greed over morality pretty much sums up most of it, and an ignorance is bliss lifestyle the rest. But that’s the normal QQ; here’s were it gets really pathetic. I hate myself most of all, everyday I wake up and cuss at myself until I can finally summon up the will to get out of bed and face another day of my life. I have nothing, and I know it’s no one’s fault but my own; I […]
The pain inside just grows and grows,
My pulse, my mind, my life just slows,
I shake my fist at the God above,
For placing me in a life without love.
At nine years old raped and molested,
Beaten for years, why was I tested?
Is this a joke, some sick experiment,
To live a life without being loved, no happiness, no merriment.
Bullied and tortured for over ten years,
Locking myself in the bathroom, in fear, fighting tears,
Afraid of the world, fearing my next rejection,
Looking in vain, for some family affection.
And then came the day when my father left home,
Neglecting to tell me, no call to my phone,
He packed up the things he loved, old medals he’d won,
Which […]
i havent been on here in so long, i forgot about how sad i was until i read all of these posts i put up. i came back for one reason and one reason only, to say goodbye to this website. i dont need it anymore 🙂
i have the guy of my dreams, my mother and me are happy, and im just happy. i dont cry as much anymore i mean, i still do but thats either period related or just missing my daddy. but im happy
so i over came my suicide. my dark moments filled with pain and sadness. gone, all the pain is […]