Every second I’m awake I wish I was asleep, but the cruelest joke this life plays on me is to not let me experience sleep. I fall asleep and immediately wake up 8 hours later (like everyone else). My worst fear is that when sweet sweet death finally comes, it will be exactly like sleep, and I’ll simply wake up seemingly immediately and be forced to be alive once more. I’m 25, and havnt learned a damned thing my entire life. All I did was play sports throughout my life until college where I picked up drinking and smoking weed. My life is horrible. I […]
Tag:
Fear
I don’t particularly think my story is of any significance, nor do I think anything particularly bad has happened to me, but I shall share my story anyway because of the simple fact that I want to.
I shall begin with the fact that I’ve always hated my father, as far back as I can remember he has always annoyed me, with his selfishness, lack of manners and personal space, I swear, if I even began insulting him, I could never stop. People say I have a really good memory but the truth is, I don’t I can’t exactly remember anything before the age of […]
Humans, humanity, and this (earthly) world/life is not/never a perfect place..
sometimes it even can be ‘blamed’ because of our human’s hard-wired Nature. ie: the way we’re ‘created’.
A famous atheist literature Christopher Hitchens who just passed away ironically few days before Christmas, he said this: “Evolution has meant that our prefrontal lobes are too small, our adrenal glands are too big, and our reproductive organs apparently designed by committee; a recipe which, alone or in combination, is very certain to lead to some unhappiness and disorder.”
think about that, really…and this is even still just ONE factor (ie: I’m still not talking about other ‘imperfections’ nature […]
Forgive yourself & other humans,..because this *earthly* life is not perfect…and we’re all only humans…we made mistakes.
and besides, we all live only ONCE in this earthly life, so that’s why many people made mistakes in their life, because you can’t simply turn back time and repeat life..
So forgive yourself (& others), free yourself from all the restricting guilts,
keep learning,
and keep doing the Best & worthwhile while you’re still given a chance to exist and alive here in this physical world…
<img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-58739" title="Becca hi my name is Becca im 13 years old. My two best friends are brittany and kaitlyn and i love them to death. My favorite sports are gymnastics and basketball . I sing in my school chior and i recently moved to texas from washington state in march of last year. But i have a deadly secret. I’m sucidal and i cut . And was recently put into a mental hospital 3 weeks ago for a week for attempted sucide and cuttting. Now you may ask why. Why would a girl like me do so much harm to myself.. well […]
I couldn’t sleep so i took sleeping pills. They didn’t really sleep it was more like being paralyzed. I could feel hear but couldn’t stop him from having sex with me like that. I confronted him and he denied it. We fought and he said it would never happen again. I had no where to go. I was trapped. He went where I went. My first break  at help was a cop who said a husband can’t rape his wife. 5 yrs later some one stepped in. I had a child with him.
They lied said i was a druggie whore and other stuff and my lawyer […]
You’re right that life isn’t fair. Because people are self-absorbed, yes. Because people are selfish, yes. We’re born into a world that we know, as soon as we become enough aware we know, we have to leave sooner or later.
And we spend that time trying to fill it with as many positive experiences as possible. That’s all we really want, isn’t it? Our day in the sun?
Well, we didn’t make the sun. I’m not religious, but I’m sure as hell we didn’t make the sun. Or the ocean. Or the mountains. Or the sky. You’re right; you didn’t choose to come into the world. You […]
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.†– George Carlin
Hail George.
he’s right.
fucking humans who like to over-complicate everything with all their ‘systems’ and rules and BS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW4x4gswm-o
“Tsubasa wo Kudasai” (Please Give Me Wings)
Lyrics translation:
“If I could have my wish come true right now
I’d want to have wings
Please place wings on this back
like a bird
I want to spread my wings
and fly in these heavens
To the free sky with no sadness
I want to flutter my wings and fly
Even now, I don’t need money nor fame,
what I want are wings!
The things I dreamt as a child,
I still dream about them today!
I wan’t to spread my wings
and fly into this wide sky!
I want to flap my wings and fly to this
free sky filled […]
Reason for my downfall is simple: this real world is too damn boring, I can’t stand it anymore
by niki
written by niki
Perhaps to the contrary of what many of you would think here,
I am actually live from a quite healthy & “normal” situation/environment, eg:
– I am born from a quite loving, and healthy family. My childhood was a quite happy ones, with lots of traveling here & there.
– I am from a quite middle-to-upper class family, which can be said, I’m pretty much okay/well-off, albeit not super/very-rich.
– I even went to all those what “normal” society would call “great routes” in life like: great education & school overseas (in U.S, “The Land of the Dream” for immigrant people like me, which is […]
I hope 2012 come quickly, because this real world is too goddamn boring. I mean, what’s so interesting with all the “stock prices goes up, stock prices goes down, profits goes up, profits goes down”, and then on the other side you have party-poopers dumbwits kind of crowd.
I also hate like majority of humans as they’re usually dumb and ignorant, and prefer to have fun, party, have sex, seeking profits & money, rather than care about the continuation of civilization & humanity progress, basically, the things that REALLY MATTERS.
So hope HUGE catastrophe come! kill ’em all!
I for one never feel like I belong in […]
I love philosophy but questioning the things that we base our lives on scares me whilst exciting me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have no friends to hang out with, outside of school. I lost the few I had. I spend my days on the computer looking for things to put my mind to. I eagerly search for films and music that somehow relates to my endless negative feelings in order to find some connection with another person, even though I have never met them and they are oblivious of my existence. I saw my psychologist for the first time a week […]
Last night I’ve seen some posts that talks/mention about existential nihilism, and I think I used to have great discussion with my little brother about this..quite interesting.
However, like I’ve said before in some posts here, since “Hope” is always seem to be inherent in each human being (seems to be our given Nature), then it’s only logical for me to try to find the ‘loophole’ with that branch of philosophy (by now I’m sure we all know that all kinds of philosophies & even science can always be found the ‘loophole’ and sometimes for a Good purpose to improve for a better ones, this is […]
Hi. I stumbled across this site last night while not being able to sleep. I don’t know why I’m here, but I wanted to sign up regardless.
I’m a 19 y/o female living in a house with my mum and my brother, who is 16, in Australia. I have things that so many other people in the world do not. We have our own house, have food in the cupboards and a bedroom each. We love and support each other in our own dysfunctional ways. I see my dad regularly and have a good relationship with him.
I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-ufE76lO7Y
This might proves to be very interesting (and mind-opening) to watch for 10 minutes,
perhaps it’s heavily related with how almost everyone here often feels.
it’s time to re-think our ‘old’ notions about survival and living.
getting more interesting..
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead.
What happened in Egypt is the real, solid proof of this quote.
No one before probably could predict nor expect that this kind of huge thing could ever happen, even in year 2011,.but it DO…ES and CAN happen!
Hope is not all lost.
Zeitgeist: Moving Forward. might be the CORE solution to ALL humanity/society’s shitty problems!
by niki
written by niki
Watch it.
Join it, and spread it, if you think it’s really damn *worth* it.
It really opened my eyes for me personally, and I’ve joined the local movement here in my home country.
Surprisingly, this is a global movement! and I’m very sure it’s going to grow & grow even more.
Because it’s hell much BETTER than our current sick, corrupt, and obnoxious ‘System’ and ‘society’ we’re currently having all around the world!
“(Never underestimate the importance of an idea). An idea is like a virus. Resilient, highly contagious. The smallest seed of an idea can grow. It can grow to define, or […]
I’m starting to become a regular here :3 I’d like to meet some friends, to finally have someone who knows, to talk to.
anyway. I’ll be going to the city in about…3 hours. this is gonna be hard. (I’m agoraphobic by the way)
Havn’t been out in around a month and a half. and before that, I was out before the winter! I should try though, look at the brighter side of the outside world. hey, I’ll be able to see that cute guy at the shake bar. haha! I’m one for peircings and longer hair ;D -cat whistle-
rightio, I’m off the take a shower.
p.s this […]
What’s so interesting about being normal? and why most people stick with it?
by niki
written by niki
The more I stroll the street or malls at night, seeing all the humans and couples and happy and dull faces of them,
the more I feel so distanced and separated..
Men in suits always looking oh so professional, with their seemingly chic I-Phones or Blackberry on their ears,
Women often with glamorous necklace, and latest/newest brand of bag,
Ads blaring everywhere you see, hear, and even approached by so-called “Sales girls”,
discount here, buy this, buy that, discount there,
You come out from movie theaters watching perhaps most fantastical & hypnotizing movies/films,
that you even freezes out and don’t feel like you want to get […]