I need you to touch me. Make me feel wanted. Pull my hair, choke me, I don’t care! Just make it sweet. Make me feel loved. Help me believe you still want me, when all the signs say no. I yearn to feel you again, or for you to at least want me. I remember when you loved me… Oh, I remember…
Tag:
feel
I know it is selfish for me to be jealous of my family and friends that are dating their boyfriends or girlfriends. I just can’t help it. Ever since I fell for you and you decided to rip my heart out I just can’t stand seeing others happy. I mean sure I am really happy for them because I care about them, but I just don’t understand why I’m not happy like them. They have everything going for them and a man or lady on there side. Oh man, how I wish to kiss a boy. I haven’t in so long. I just want to […]
i spend most of my time, thinking to myself. trying to tell my self that yes, these people exist, they have feelings, their heart beat and they feel sad sometimes too.. but then again, how can I be so sure? and i can’t tell anyone how i really think, they’d think i’m crazy. who knows. Maybe i am crazy.
I spend most of my time wanting to die. the anxiety in me, the feeling of wanting to do everything at once, but having no purpose in doing it, not wanting to, why does it all matter? all what we do is grow up to get […]
so I found this website and it hopes of finding people that will understand me.. So I’m assuming this is my place..
to be honest, I don’t know what’s getting into me . I feel like a monster. I made my mother cry after she found out I self harm, and now that I stop self harming, me and my boyfriend have been getting into countless fights… My mom still puts me down. She calls me whore, slut, only because I’ve kissed one guy. She beats me for no reason too. It doesn’t stop and I know it won’t. I feel so useless and I feel […]
This isn’t really something I usually do, I’m more of the “bottle it up” kind of guy, but I really need to get this out and Google led me here as an appropriate place to do so. It’s up to you if you want to read all this, but at least if you do, I have some validation of my efforts. Which I imagine would be nice.
Well… here goes.
I should be happy or satisfied enough really, shouldn’t I?
I mean, I did life right. I left school, got a steady dead end job and got myself a place to live independently. In this […]
They are disgusting. They have a need to feel superior to one another, in looks or friends or personality. They stole all my hard work away. I will lose everything because of them.
I live with three other girls. I’m okay with one of them, it does annoy me when she is slow or in my way. But other wise she’s fine. My issue is with the other two.
I’ve known one of them since, 2nd grade or something. We’ve been best friends for a super long time. But i have never shown her my weakness. I have never shown her my true side. I just show […]
Someone help me understand why I continue to do everything in my power to make a man happy? Four years, and a child later and I’m still a wreck. The good days make me feel powerful, confident, loved. But those good days only come a few times a month. All I ask is for respect, loyalty, attention. I give you all you need, plus some. I don’t wanna feel terrible every day. But I don’t know life without you. What am I supposed to do with myself? I love you so much, but I want to love myself more.
I tried to hang myself last night. I have Schizoaffective disorder, BPD, PTSD and Anxiety and Depression. I feel like I have no one to talk to and everyone that I do talk to thinks I’m whiney. I have problems with my body and the doctors don’t see anything wrong. It’s so hard for me to walk and my insurance will be up at the end of next month. I will get a biopsy on Monday and they said that it could make my situation worse, plus they are going to stick a needle in the most sensitive area in my body. It’s so depressing […]
I wish I was a writer so I could try and put these feelings into words
but maybe I’m not because I don’t feel much of anything at all.
I’m thirteen years old.  I don’t know if it’s true or not but for some reason I have the fact that my parents hate me implanted into my brain.  I can’t seem to be able to trust them no matter what.  They’ve been making fun of me for as long as I can remember.  Some days they’re always calling me names and screaming at me.  They always threaten and criticize me and make me feel like nothing.  They blow it off and say that they’re just being sarcastic and that I can’t take a joke, but I don’t laugh at any of their […]
tempted
to write
my own feelings
but can i? no.
atlas i cannot write down
what i am feeling right now
why can i not? why can’t i?
so many things, people, cares, worries, frets, etc
maybe its good to bottle things up and lie
how am i? how am i doing? how are you?
i reply with, i’m fine.” i wish i could tell the truth
maybe someday i will be able to over come my fears, and tell
the real, down to earth, truthful, honest truth about how i really, truthfully feel
There are those times in all of our lives, where we feel like we haven’t seen her in such a long time.
There are some times, you haven’t seen her in such a long time, you don’t even remember what she looks like.
It is usually around that time, she decides to come over for a surprise visit, she’s a funny one, that aunt D.
She can come to you while you were having a great day, then you lie in bed and her ugly face shows up again.
Or sometimes, just when you feel like you cannot bear her company anymore, she gets up and leaves.
But in the […]
I remember when I was a very little girl, our house caught on fire.
I’ll never forget the look on my father’s face as he gathered me up
in his arms and raced through the burning building out to the pavement.
I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames.
And when it was all over I said to myself, “Is that all there is to a fire?”
Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing
Let’s break out the booze and have a ball
If […]
I seem to have a problem. Well, multiple problems, but the key outcome is that I keep screwing up. All my life people have told me how great and intelligent I am. So gifted and kind and well-rounded. Blah blah blah.
Do you detect a hint of disdain in that? The reason for that is, I don’t think I ever learnt accountability or the actual meaning of hard work. All through school, I could study the night before and still rock an A, or a high B at the very least. Hard work to me was just listening in class and occasionally doing my homework. But […]
bright screen
blinking cursor
eyes darting
fingers typing
dimmed screen
still cursor
eyes closed
fingers deleting
does it matter
what i say
does it matter
what i feel
do you care anymore?
do you worry anymore?
do you bother anymore?
do you listen anymore?
do i bother you?
do i annoy you?
do i irritate you?
do i disturb you?
Maybe you don’t care.
Maybe you don’t worry.
Maybe you don’t bother.
Maybe you don’t listen.
Are you really there for me?
Or am I just too clingy?
That you have to avoid me?
Maybe you’re too busy for me?
Ever since I was fourteen or fifteen, I have had many, many fleeting periods of suicidal thoughts. They come often at times of stress. I will take a walk at night and consider throwing myself under the wheels of the passing truck. I am a rock climber, and I have tied a noose out of climbing rope and put it around my neck five times, just sitting alone. Last year I lived on the eleventh floor of my building, and considered pitching myself through the screen and out the window. I have gotten drunk and pulled a knife across my wrists, imagining what it would […]
Everything was dull. Clouds hung over my head no matter how brightly the sun shone. I had to resist the nearly uncontrollable urge to fall flat on the ground, curl up into the grey hoodie I had been wearing for days, and cry. It pained me to smile. I was going through one of the worst bouts of major depression I have ever endured.
I fell into a rabbit hole, and theories, disorders, and research, along with a whole lot of blurry and blank areas was my wonderland. I ached to know more. I needed to know as much as I possibly could know about […]
I’ve wanted to commit suicide ever since I was 12 and before then I couldn’t really understand the true concept of depression I’d just see it as me being sad all the time. Cutting started becoming my escape from the world because I’d just feel pain and relief at the same time…now I’m just numb from all the suffering I’ve been through and quite frankly the world doesn’t give a shit whether I live or die….right now I’m on the verge of trying to commit suicide again and all I know is that only my family will feel sorrow…..my friends will be sad and bow […]
The first …
The idea of suicide … the spark of a thought that you don’t have to deal with this, that there is some other alternative…Â As mild and as “innocent” as psychiatry like to make it out, it’s just as dangerous as any, exactly for that reason…Â People don’t take it serously when someone just says “I feel like killing my self”…Â they feel that if you have the clarity of mind to share it, your not a suicide risk…your just feeling like you are caught between a rock and a hard place… so they put you on “retreat” for a couple of days […]
I have been taken this anxiety pills that my psychiatrist has give me and they are incredible strong,when i take them my muscles just chills like if they where smoking weed,i feel like in a cloud and i am so relaxed my deppression gets weakest,sometimes i take more than my psy told mecalled it medication abuse,yes who cares.someres i mixed with a bunch of alcohol and its glorious,and sometimes not much but sometimes i brake the pills into my joints and smoke them,directly to the brain,that is just another dimension.