“Endurance” what does endurance mean? Hi everyone! I’m new to this site, but I’m sure we are all here for the same reason. We have suicidal thoughts or have actually attempted to take our life. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 9. At age 11 I was diagnosed with depression. I was never abused nor was I bullied in school, but I was always lonley when it came to socialize with others, I never thought that being alone was a bad thing. I actually liked being alone, but I came to realize that I had no friends. I have a family who cares A […]
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I want you guys to know its ok to want to kill yourself and that its also ok if you want to not ‘give up’ (more like give in). I know there are many various spiritual beliefs so i won’t get into that but i want you to know that the only person who can judge you is you. The opinions of your family, friends, the state or ‘God’ don’t matter. You are what matters. If you feel like it is your time to leave Earth then leave, cleanly, without regret. For those worrying about hurting their loved ones. Imagine if you moved to some […]
I wonder how my dad would feel if he knew I wanted to kill Myself so badly. It almost that time of year when girls go out to supper with their dad. I’ll probably stay home and cry but you know… That’s just me…
Does anyone else feel this way?
I’m so spiritually confused. I’m trapped with no car, and hardly any money. I impulsively spend the small amount of money I have in my bank account. I am just, trapped. Exhausted. I’ve lost all creativity. All my passion has been drained. I constantly feel as if I’m being watched, judged. Always aware of my thoughts. Drained. No eye contact. No smile. Violent thoughts. I’m so sick. I need my God again.
I feel like the most pathetic person in the world. I hate almost everything in my life, and so i know i deserve it when i say i have no friends. My colleagues hate me, they make fun if me and bully me, i am not sure if bully is the right word for what they have done to me but that’s just how i feel. Everyday i wake up thinking “how am i going to get over this hopeless day?” I sometimes just want to stay in bed and not going to work not going to meet anyone just stay alone. But i am […]
I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I get so upset over everything these days, when I’m at school I nearly start crying, I’ve been going home from school and haven’t been staying the whole day because I don’t feel like I belong. my best friend has just became my friend now because she’s started hanging out with a new girl and it doesn’t feel right. I just feel so alone and like I have no one.
Its been almost 6 months since you left . Hard to believe it would still hurt so badly…. We both moved on and yet I now feel cold more than ever and alone. Why ??? seriously just why???? I am so fucking sick of feeling like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrGq-pSvZg8
For months, I have been questioning the point of life. I have had anxiety for four years now. Acute anxiety that affects my every day life. Recently, I became extremely depressed to the point where never cleaned my room (was absolutely disgusting and unlivable) cried before going to class, had to leave multiple times because of breaking down in class. I hated walking anywhere, I hated taking care of myself, I stopped talking to friends. I started abusing drugs and alcohol. I chain smoked for months. I was so sad for no reason, and felt so worthless. Now, I have moved back home with my […]
ive thought about killing myself for longer than i can remember. the past few years all seem to be terrible and everything goes wrong. im a failure of a person, i have no job, i graduated and haven’t done anything since. i dont have any inspiration to do anything anymore. i’ve been cutting again the past couple of years, and it only escalates, it’s gotten worse instead of getting better.
i found the one person in my life that made me want to live. id spent so long thinking i didnt have a place in the world, that i was meant to die a long time […]
I’m such a sad girl that no one knows how I feel. Every single day I cry in my room wanting to end it all but to afraid. I’ve lost a lot of my best friends from this mental illness. Whenever I go somewhere I have sooo much anxiety it’s unbearable. All the medication I take and nothing works. I will never be fixed. I’m the only person in my family that’s broken. I’m just a waste of time and space. I’m socially awkward no matter where I am. I can’t tell anyone how I feel because they will think I’m doing for attention. Or […]
I don’t really have problems. My life is pretty awesome. I am surrounded by people who love me, I am likable, I am cute, and I make other people happy. I can’t really ask for more.
But there is a hollowness to all of it. An emptiness that I have felt for many years. And under that, a pain that I have been pushing down and burying deep, deep inside.
I don’t know why it hurts, just that it always has. When I think about it, I can feel it. I’m always aware of it. This terrible sucking, aching, vacuous throbbing that beats inside my chest and […]
Anyone else who is negatively affected by the summer break? Like me because I’m all alone most of the time? School as much as anyone can hate it was a place to socialize for me and with it gone I feel like I’m hated and realize that all of the people I talked to in school aren’t real friends, they’re just people that I talked to and joked around with. There’s a lot worse than that but I hate it. I stay up at night (like I am right now) because I just can’t get the voices inside of me to shut up. I just […]
My whole life I’ve felt so empty and worthless, it’s like I don’t belong here, I used to be the kind of person who just put on a mask and tried to live life thinking, “Well if I can’t know happiness I’ll just try and make others happy instead.” Bad idea. People will take advantage of you every single time whether you see it or not, no one cares, and the ones who do are only pretending so they can get something out of you in the end. I hate living, hate it. every time I look at my own reflection I get […]
I’m going to miss the rain. I love rain so much. It’s comforted me many times throughout life. I’ll miss the feel, the sound, the smell, the cool breeze. I wrote a stupid, short, song about rain once in the 5th grade and I still sing it nearly every time it rains.
“I can hear the sound of rain. I can see the beauty of rain. After every rain there’s a rainbow”.
I wish it rained everyday. My two favorite things ever are rain and dogs.
It’s always the people that want to live that end up getting terminal cancer or hit by a bus or stranded in a house fire. Those of us that want to die, if we never commit suicide, we will be the ones living miserably into our late 90s. We’ll be the ones to outlive our friends, our spouses, even our children. It doesn’t make sense. We should get to have our misery cut short if we don’t want to live anymore. Cancer on demand… nobody would blame us for our deaths. Those that are happy and capable of dealing with this stupid world should live […]
I like to think i do more good than harm.
When you feel like your trying so hard to hold it together, sometimes you just give up.
I haven’t self harmed in a long while.
Maybe I turned that aggression outwards instead.
We all have bad days. They get better.
not much better.
but better every day.
I said I’m sorry to my ex and now that I’m free I don’t feel bad for him or anything like that. and I can finally agree to date my friend since preschool.
It’s not like with my personality I can change for the better. I know I won’t. It’s not about needing sympathy here or looking for common grounds with people. It’s just to basically type it out because I rather random faceless strangers from the internet to know than the people I’m “close” to.
It all started last week that I mentioned in an older post. I lost my car due to bogus reasons, and then the next day I got drug tested from my job, in which I have been currently using narcotics. They sent the sample off to the lab due to a line not […]
I had this dream about two weeks ago. I was on a boat going down these really peculiar canals. the river was narrow and everything was really low. There were platforms either side of the river, then tall walls along each side. But it didn’t make you feel enclosed. At the top of the walls you could see the blue sky, the walls were all pastel colours and had origami trees next to them. It had me so relaxed.
I wish I had that dream again.