I’m scared. I’m scared of myself. I’m scared that I won’t, can’t feel. See, since the day I was born I have had this steadily growing indifference to life. For the past year I’ve been getting this feeling that everything is meaningless, pointless and that terrifies me. I just want to know that if someone I love dies I can feel the pain in losing them, actually be able to cry, somehow force myself to care. I don’t know how I move day to day with this feeling so ingrained in my soul that at some point I’ll feel nothing, not even the fear of […]
Today,for the 1st time in almost 2 years, I confided in a mutual friend. I told her of my thoughts and she insisted that I hear her thoughts and those of her son.. 4 the 1st time in a long time I actually feel like I will be able to prove that I am innocent. Thank you KK & NK. Xx
My mind and soul are tired of this game.
My heart hurts deeply and is full with lots of pain.
Many thoughts run through my mind, hoping I can find the secret to live a happy life.
After my searching is done, I always open my eyes to the dark and find myself thinking ….oh I’m fucked!
Fucked because I know there is nothing for me.
No smiles ….no laughing….no comforting dreams.
No light at the end of the tunnel and no angels to take me home.
Only a knife down my arm, the blood turns cold.
A hole full of darkness were they don’t […]
When I say seniors, I don’t mean school grade. I mean ‘over 65.’ I want to know if there are any others near my age on this website. I’m not presently suicidal. I have been most of my life. But now death is a given in the next 30 years or so. I’m wondering how persons from my generation who have survived feel now. Are there any on this website?
I’m presently having some physical problems. I am consulting with my general practitioner. I am not afraid of death, a friend I have sought during most of my life; but I’m also not afraid to live.
How […]
and I just get by by pretending that I don’t. Not inwardly, I mean on the outside. A mask of sanity. I’m a apathetic misanthrope portraying the character of a normal lovable person in a perpetual improv act.
I’m polite and sweet. I listen to people. I laugh at their jokes. I’m considerate. My mind is dissecting them. I’m dead inside.
I’m just not there.
I’m not depressed any more. I haven’t been for almost a year, but I no longer feel complex emotions of any kind. Some would call this a mixed blessing. There is nothing mixed about it. If I had to choose, I would trade […]
Feeling overwhelmed, meds are working perhaps but not really. I don’t believe in meds, I’ll take em so i feel like I’m doing something but moving has helped. I’m in my own place now. nervous at the cost, nervous at the waste of space that it is to be in a one bedroom or for me to exist. Anxious that i will fail, always on the verge, always begging for death to pre-empt that so that folks can smile and admire how hard i worked and not how hard i fell. Nerves getting the best of me. I can’t focus, don’t want to focus. I’m […]
When I was about 12 – 13 years old (I’m now 24) thought I was gay. I started going on a forum where I met a girl called Serena. I spoke to her every single day, eventually we decided to be girlfriends. Being that age I really felt like I was in love, I loved speaking to her over the net and by text. She’d get me to leave voicemails too, I’d do anything for her. It was so nice finally having someone to talk to, I didn’t have any friends and was always bullied… She made everything so much better.
This carried on for months, […]
is superhero real exist ?
are superheroes real exist ?
is superpower or magic real exist ? (like in those cool movies, games, comics, novels, books, anime / manga, etc) ?
you know, like in those ‘cool’ superhero movies : X-Men (X Men), Superman, Thor, Spiderman, Iron man, Captain America, or in those ‘cool’ fantasy / sci-fi (sci fi, science fiction) movies : Harry Potter, Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Avatar, TRON, or games like Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, etc etc ..
otherwise, fuck this boring reality / real world / real life !!
I hate reality, I hate life , I hate this very *LIMITED* & […]
I honestly believe I live a privileged life. My parents have wealthy paying jobs, and I am able to go to a very nice high school. Nothing awful besides the deaths of my loved ones, and regular crappy teenage drama has happened in my life. I’m lucky. I’ve never been abused or assaulted, but I’m still sad. I was briefly bullied in middle school, but who hasn’t been in their own way? No matter how many incredible things happen in my life, I somehow fall back into a dark place. I have periods where I am so happy, and then I have times where I […]
Zopiclone is squirting into my brain. If they find a way to make the taste you find in your mouth at this point less horrible, it would be much appreciated.
My mind is starting to melt like candles, bright glittering, forming pools of liquid, yet a solid.
I was told these can make some people hallucinate if you try to resist the urge to sleep, but it didn’t work for me.
I didn’t mean to make this post so long, but typing the last few paragraphs has been incredibly hard and and glittering sparking birds fly through the sky, they feed off the weak. They […]
get me thru this night
i am a single mother have been even tho i am married. the man has never been there, he was always off drinking while i was at home taking care of things. not saying i dont mind it….i love my son so much and i would do anyting for him. now my son is two, and im filing for divorce since my life with my husband became physically and mentially abusive…sorry if i have spelling errors…so i left him a year and a half ago. […]
I’m scared. Everything in my life is spiraling out of control.
I’m a failure. My family and friends are trying to support me, but all I can feel is their pity. And I hate it. I hate it so much. I just want to get away from everyone, and away from reality. I want to get drunk. Like so drunk that I don’t even know what’s happening, and just stay that way. And not have any worries.
I want to scream, and cry, and fucking hit something. I feel so angry and mad and.. I just don’t think I’m cut out for life. I paint a smile […]
Had a lovely Sunday with the in-laws.
Actually feel a bit guilty that come November I will no longer here.
I’ve a young nephew and niece who think the world of me and wonder why I no longer go and see them.
My brother in law and his wife, are worried about how I have withdrawn so much from theirs and their children’s lives, but I just tell them I’m busy.
If everybody looked the same, we’d get tired of looking at each other.
I’m pretty bummed out – anyone feel like chatting?
I’ve wondered so many times why I must feel the way Ifeel? I still have not found an answer. Every now and then I used to break down, to live in crisis, cutting myself, drinking alcohol until i passed out, taking pills to lose myself, damaging every part of me for not to feel. I understand that i may never get this feeling “out of me”, I understand that no matter what I do, what I try, I keep falling far away, pushing everyone else, and theres only one thing else to do, not to try, because trying implies that I could fail, i will […]
I don’t know what is wrong with me. I don’t feel like I have control over my body anymore. I don’t feel like I have control over anything. I want to cry…scream, shout. Something…I have all of this…this emotion built up inside of me and each one wants to get out. One minute I’m happy and the next I’m enraged. I’m sad and frustrated. I want company and I want to be left the fuck alone. I need to talk and yet, I need to shut up all together as well. I just need to stop existing for a while until I can get a […]
I feel like I have a secret life… I want the peace of death, but I would feel so guilty. Overdose?
I woke up this morning not long ago and decided to head to SP to see today’s posts. I noticed I had a fair amount of responses to my post last night. As I was reading them, a couple of users were talking about a topic that made me stop dead in my tracks and literally say ‘wow’. I feel everyone should take a look at this and give me there thoughts, because I really wish I had the answers.
” I’ve noticed one thing…a whole lot of awareness. Too much, I think. And intelligence. And thoughtfulness. A lot of very smart, sad, interesting, hyper-aware people. […]
The big question whist happens after we die, where do we go. Do we go into a spiritual realm for tortured souls, do we go into nothing, do we go into a dream world for good, do we see others that are past,do we go to heaven, do we go to hell? These are the questions that every one wonders, even the most religious person must think in the back of their minds I hope there is a heaven. So to kill yourself is a sin and then we end up in hell. Whet if you think life is hell, why is there such a […]
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