Am I just too coward to embrace the death… Am I still too much attached to people around me and care for their for feelings towards me … Or Is there still some materialistic/physical comfort that really excites me and is unconsciously asking me to hold on to it … or there is really a purpose that divinity had decided for us and we can’t go before fulfilling it …
I feel that the the answer is none of those…
Instead the only reason that I think that I am still alive now is sheer curiosity ….. there’s defn some thing really exciting after death […]
Tag:
Feelings
Feeling overwhelmed again and feel that crazy need to DO something; so I am going to write as honestly as I can in hope of clearing my head and maybe helping others to not feel so alone..
I am 19 years old, going to a community college in hopes of learning everything I can about computers and eventually getting a PhD. (programming and hacking take me to a different place, a place where I am extremely intrigued and life actually seems interesting because there is so much to it.)Â Normally I just get tired of waking up to the same routine everyday, not so much that […]
I finally have had enough with the emotional and physical abuse with everyone in my life. It is not like I have a best friend to tell all my problems to and receive advice from so I have decided to take a step forward and see a therapist.
I am partially excited about this decision because I can finally allow myself to open up without worrying about my secrets getting out but I am also afraid to tell about my feelings and emotions because what if he/she thinks I am a freak? A nothing.
This is my first step towards freedom from the dreadful memories that bind […]
I a sorry if I hurt any body feelings on this site by expressing my own feelings …….blah I hate the word feelings………but still I am sorry if I hurt any one
Life is just so hard.. I don’t understand how anyone can do it with a genuine smile on their face. Do people really truly feel happiness? My life really isn’t that bad, I have both my parents who care about me, a loving boyfriend, and am currently in high school. It’s just that everyday is a struggle.. I wake up in the morning with such an empty feeling, like a hole in my heart, and I wish I could just sleep and never wake up again. I feel so alone.. I just want someone to talk to.. But even if someone is there willing to […]
I’ve been feeling this way for almost 11 years. I’m surprised I’ve even made it this far. I’ve lost most of my friends because they’re tired of hearing me being sad and depressed all of the time, especially when their lives are going so well. Not like they were any help to me when they were around but it’s just that now, I feel completely alone. I have no one to talk to and I’ve been keeping my feelings in for so long. No one even bothers to help me anymore because they feel its no use. After they give me advice, a couple of […]
i’m in so much pain mentally.
can i tell you a secret? my best friend of 17 years raped and burned me with cigarettes while he was drunk. (you’re the first person i told) i have been cutting myself off and on since i was 9 because my cousin molested me until i was 12 and when i finally told them they said i was lying and i got slapped with being bipolar 2. i have one friend she is a complete ***** she doesn’t even care “it’s all about her” anyway. i am an introverted kind of person. i just turned 25 and i’m scared that […]
So I’m know I’m not the only one who is actively wishing and hoping that my life turns around soon and I magically become happy, or simply find a few real world (offline) friends to ease the feelings of loneliness….and yet while waiting for this to happen, wouldn’t mind if my life would just end.
I do not want to “commit suicide” though, because I know the pain this causes from family experience and I don’t want my family to know I was selfish enough to do that to them. Â But drugs – well an accidental overdose isn’t QUITE the same. If I overdose on pills, […]
I’ve never been one for expressing my feelings. But in the past two years i have seen two of my closest friends pass one from an o.d and the other from a gang beating. No one was arrested for the beating and were all free. I haven’t been able to let a day go by without wishing i was them. I have thoughts of my finally moments in my head everyday now. I am bullied at schhool teased and not aloud to make my own choices. My life is run by other people and when ever i try to talk about my problems all my […]
This feeling it hurts a lot I wish it would go away. Everyday I wake up pretending to be happy putting on a fake smile for everybody to see. I feel so alone and unwanted by everyone no one understands they or love me . Just tolerate me or push me to the side. I seem to cry every night the days are getting longer and I think that is if I hurt myself I would feel some type of real emotion. Or maybe just that one step into the street can end everything. Poof! I’ll be gone and life can continue like it always […]
Today during creative writing class my teacher really wanted to read a poem I wrote about me loosing my best friend (well she didn’t know what it was about). I didn’t want to say no because it would have hurt her feelings, so I said “sureâ€. She started reading the emotion-filled poem out loud. We had a visitor in our class who, just from the few lines my teacher had read, was completely focused in and had an amazed look on her face. Apparently so did everyone else in the class.
As she was reading, I started to realize what the words actually meant to me. They weren’t just […]
He broke up with me a month ago, and I was barely getting over it.
I’m just appalled. How could he have regained his feelings for me in under a month?
He wants me back. But I’m scared. I’m afraid of all the possibilities, both good and bad.
He treated me terribly after the first couple months.
And I don’t really want to go back to experiencing that sensation.
I never liked that feeling. And he reminded me about how it felt. To feel like I wasn’t good enough. Like I don’t make a difference whether I’m in someone’s life or not.
I haven’t become like this just […]
I’m scared of life. I think about the countless number of days ahead of me and I feel trapped. Trapped living. Trapped in my mind. I feel insane. I’m dying to get out. Dying to be free. I wish it it was all over. I wish I had the choice to end it all. Why don’t I have the choice? It’s my life. I’m the one who has to live it. I don’t want to live just because everyone else thinks that I’m sick. YEAH I am sick. But I’ve been sick and it’s not getting better. Why the fuck can’t I just die. This […]
How do I even begin to explain the way that I am feeling?
It’s a sense of emptiness;
A sense that you would care not to have.
I have no drive or motivation to do anything.
I’m sick of living the life that I have.
Sick of living in this body of mine.
I can’t seem to get out of this rut.
I can only wish that I were someone else.
Wish that I was happy, but doing that gets me nowhere.
I have no destination.
My future is unknown.
I just want to disappear.
I want to eliminate my life, but I’m scared of the unknown.
I just wish I had the desire to live and the […]
I am so lost… i am a single father 2 kids, their mother is a drug addict and has abandoned them for 3 years march 12th, i have 2 deaf parents so growing up was very hard, to never be able to talk about your feelings to your own mom hurts me alot, i know sign language but its just not the same… i have constant feelings of giving up, when i look at my kids i cry, when i think about my family i cry. i have gone nowhere for my whole life, dropped out at 16 and never made a attempt to be […]
Actually I don’t want to know why. I don’t want to know why I feel the way I do. I don’t want to understand my depression. I just want it all to be gone. Suicide, for me, is unrealistic. Only because I don’t have the guts and I’m just too afraid of the pain. I constantly tell this to myself because I know it’s true that I won’t kill myself. But I want to, I just can’t. I’m trying to stay in the present, and I’m trying to think about now and not about the future and not about the past. But the past and […]
Lately I’ve been feeling lonely. I realized that I have no one in my life, I can talk about my feelings. I want to tell my family what going on with me and try to get help, but I feel like I’m going to be judge. At school I have no one, I spend my breaks and lunch in the bathroom stall. I have no one who I can truly express my feelings without feeling judge. Sometime I want to end my life so I can feel free and have no worries but I then start to think about my mom and my family and […]
I just shouldn’t talk anymore. Whenever I say something, it’s always wrong. People laugh at me because of it and when I ask for them to stop they only laugh harder. I say things like ‘ I feel so stupid’ or ‘I’m such an idiot’ and people just smile and nod. I’m always yelled at for things I say or do. I feel like I need to do something like cut but I’m too scared to. I think they’ll find out and hurt me or send me to a therapist. I’m just so confused. I’m so alone. I’m just not okay anymore. I used to […]
no feeling… i can’t feel my fingertips… i can’t feel any feelings… all i want to do is die… i wake up every day wanting to do… every minute of the day… i would kill myself if i had the guts to slit my throat…. maybe il suffocate idk
Just a poem I’ve written a few days ago. I’ve written it because I can’t trust anyone and nobody understands it because it’s almost normal for those people, so I had to write it down in a poem to express my feelings.
~ Trust is something that everyone needs,
but how can you trust people when they’ve harmed the trust you’ve had in people so many times?
How can you trust people when you even can’t trust yourself?
How can you trust people when you are constantly afraid they will leave you?
How can you have trust in people when you realize it’s unpossible to […]