Tag:

final

My Story

by AlexelA 3/18/2015

written by AlexelA

I apologize for the lengthiness of this in advance. Just kind of the story of my life starting from 7th grade to now. No need to read it if you don’t want to.

I’m only 15. I’m currently a freshman in high school, and I’ve been battling depression since around seventh grade.

Before you ask: no, I’m not diagnosed, but I’m positive I’m depressed. I’m perfectly aware of all of the symptoms associated with depression, most of which I have.

Anyway, the symptoms started appearing sometime around sixth grade, but not enough so that I was truly depressed. My grandfather had died the year before, and I didn’t […]

3/18/2015 2 comments

I’d rather kill myself than do this final…

by Silverbird 3/4/2015

written by Silverbird

Every single time I push myself towards doing it thats all I can think of…and my teacher wonders why he has to chastise me for taking so long to get started on it…

But this is what I chose…out of all the things I could be, I chose what I liked best, and its enough to drive me to the point of suicide…

I either need to start working or bite the bullet already…but oh no, those aren’t the two only choices obviously…there are never two choices; I could try and join the military again, if they’d take some suicidal person like me who has scars on […]

3/4/2015 3 comments

by Matt 3/4/2015

written by Matt

There it goes. The final nail in my coffin.

Feels like I painstakingly pushed it in with just my fingers.

Funny how all of these problems over the past few months will be over in the space of half an hour.

3/4/2015 1 comment

Do you ever think about

by Ascending 3/1/2015

written by Ascending

what happens after the end?

I have been suicidal since I can remember. The only thing that has stopped me from attempting (in recent years) is the fear of what will happen after I catch the bus. What if I am successful in my endeavor, only to end up in the same position again?

I have the means. I have the will. Now I just need the courage to take my final step.

3/1/2015 5 comments

Who Would Be There?

by thelost 2/25/2015

written by thelost

Who would go to my funeral if I did it, if I really went through with it? Would they cry, spend a day mourning me like they did him? Or would I be another statistic in this world, another person put through the machine and spat back out? Would they think I was weak, would they respect me, would they talk about me, would they feel guilt for all the thing’s they should’ve and shouldn’t have said? Would my cousin cry? Would she? Would he? Where would I end up, who would lay me down to rest, and who would speak the final words, what […]

2/25/2015 0 comment

change

by disposablegrl 2/10/2015

written by disposablegrl

I have to say good-bye to you,

of that,

i am quite sure.

But who do i become without you,

with a heart no longer pure?

No looks of disappointment

no smirks, or glaring eye

for you know, i always told you

when you leave, i always die.

2/10/2015 0 comment

Cant Go On

by heartbroken33 1/6/2015

written by heartbroken33

My boyfriend of two years has left me and i cant go on.
I know this seems drastic but my life has not been easy and this is the final straw.

I was abused by my grandfather from an early age and because of this was unable to have children, (hysterectomy at 21)
My stepfather used to beat us instead of facing his issues with his father. And our mother beat us because defending us caused her to be beaten.

I have two failed marriages and i cant cope any more.
I love this man with all my heart but he has chosen to leave.

I have reserched […]

1/6/2015 3 comments

Real Life Sheldon Cooper

by MiseryMizer 12/12/2014

written by MiseryMizer

I have a long list of psychological problems and conditions. I once had passion for life and love, but no more. My level of intelligence, education, similar issues, and past compel me to make comparisons with that popular actor on The Big Bang Theory. The asexuality aspect of it isn’t a result of E.D. or some physical dis-function. I no longer desire any kind of relationship. I always knew I would die alone. Now I can’t imagine it any other way. As is par for the course, I had my share of suicidal thoughts, cutting, and even a real attempts. Bad news for the younger readers; […]

12/12/2014 5 comments

Another day I don’t want to be here, or anywhere

by rea3366 12/9/2014

written by rea3366

Another day of, well, nothing. I can’t laugh, I don’t want to eat, I don’t want anything but to plan my final sleep. I don’t know if my coworkers notice- probably not, they don’t know me that well. I’m trying to decide whether to do it before Christmas, before New Year, or maybe in February. All these are good times, I guess.
Every day is just empty for me, all I look forward to is sleeping and forgetting for one night and then forever. I can forget how I always let everyone down, how I always disappointed everyone- story of my adult life. They […]

12/9/2014 11 comments

More thoughts about my life

by rea3366 12/8/2014

written by rea3366

Not sure how to go about this- I would say I’ll learn as I go along, but I don’t really plan on being “available” for all that long.
Every morning I wake up and ask myself “will today be the day I die?” Knowing that, having that feeling, is like having a winning lottery ticket in my pocket- I can pull it out at any time and stop the hurt and the worry and the stress. That’s probably the main thing that gets me through each day, knowing that if it gets too bad, it will be the final day. This has been going on […]

12/8/2014 9 comments

school

by ella 12/2/2014

written by ella

I hate the feeling of not knowing how to do something or not getting things right away, it makes me feel obviously dumb as hell and incompetent. Final exams are coming up and being “stressed” is a damn understatement.. Maintaining my grades and not disappointing my parents.. I usually only write about how fast my emotions change but I’ve been feeling quite stagnant. Its weird to not have ‘episodes’ but hell its a fucking relief. Sorry this isn’t too cohesive I just wanted to write something here. And is anyone good at chemistry and is willing to help me? The teacher is 70 something damn years old […]

12/2/2014 3 comments

why go on?

by kcotti 12/2/2014

written by kcotti

I’m done feeling the pain I feel. Let this be read by some who may care. This is final as I’m slipping into death now. The pills are overtaking me I can barely type so I’m stopping.

12/2/2014 3 comments

Please

by Remnant The Unbroken 11/23/2014

written by Remnant The Unbroken

I know I barely post here anymore, but I still come back every now and then to read your stories. I recently read Shephard’s goodbye. He was a great friend to me a while back and I lost contact with him for a while. I need to know if any of you have had contact with him since his final post. I sent him an email, but haven’t had any response. And I know I may not hear from him for different reasons… But I just need some closure. It’s killing me. Please, if anyone has heard from him, or knows if he’s still with […]

11/23/2014 6 comments

Screaming at an invisible man…

by WiltedRoses88 11/15/2014

written by WiltedRoses88

I used to have faith of some kind (no specific religion; I considered myself to be Agnostic) but after having experienced life and seeing so many horrible things, I no longer believe in a “higher power”. The chaos of life and the fact that there is no control and ultimately no consequences for the vicious acts that humans carry out every day is terrifying. I often find myself cursing at God and then reminding myself that no one can hear me.

With the exception of going to work, I live my life in absolute isolation because I don’t trust anyone (twenty some odd years and I haven’t met one […]

11/15/2014 1 comment

by pondersaurus 11/4/2014

written by pondersaurus

It’s funny. What it all comes down to in the end. I thought id want to pack down my room for my parents. I thought I’d want to write an individual letter for every person I cared about. I thought I’d assign my belongings in writing, making each and every one a symbolic gift for those whom I adored. I’d thought I’d wear my favourite clothes and think about all my favourite things as I farewelled this life. But it turns out […]

11/4/2014 3 comments

final steps

by ghost walking 10/29/2014

written by ghost walking

maybe my last letter written to him…

i registered for some blog open blog of suicide notes etc..

i once wanted to leave my story. but now..

you have taken the last shred of me.. with your coldness, dismissal. and lack of compassion..
i am but a hand full of dust waiting to be blown, and scattered, erased in the winds … of a life vanished meaningless and alone

10/29/2014 2 comments

When you do it

by PariahMind 10/1/2014

written by PariahMind

Will you use your final act to help others in suffering? I am thinking of writing a concise message for the news to pick up on if they cover my death.

Depression and anxiety are real. Hug your friends. Learn to notice signs of depression (they can be hard to detect). Offer your own experiences with pain, and don’t give up on friends going through a rough time. You are likely much more important to them than you think you are.

Am I rambling?

The method must be drastic. I don’t know how specific I am allowed to be here, but I am inspired by the monks in […]

10/1/2014 6 comments

I dont know when but soon, this will be my final goodbye.

by Infectious208 9/24/2014

written by Infectious208

I know this is going to devastate everyone that I love and that loves me and for that, I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I honestly do love each and every one of you and I pray that this doesn’t make you love me any less or think less of me.

This is not something I am taking lightly. The worst part of this is not the fear, its not the unknown, its knowing that I am going to leave behind my pain for others to have to experience. What I do know is that every one of you are so much […]

9/24/2014 3 comments

Dark Days

by Jumper97 9/23/2014

written by Jumper97

When I wake up, I feel darkness surrounding me

When I’m at school, I feel darkness surrounding me

When I’m home, I feel darkness surrounding me

When I’m out with people, I feel darkness surrounding me

At my happiest moments, darkness posses me

Everywhere I go this burden will always be with me til my final day

The darkness doesn’t let the sun rise

Day after day, all I see is pain, misery, sadness, and negativity

9/23/2014 1 comment

I’m sick of this empty life

by Jumper97 9/23/2014

written by Jumper97

I’m sick of being alive and today, I tried to intoxicate myself with water. Fuck, I thought today was my final day. I drank 2 gallons of water in less than an hour, although, I puked once. I felt this strong headache, started feeling dizzy and I had trouble breathing and I laid down on my bed for a bit and passed out. I woke up with pure disappointment on my face, I woke up to find my heart still beating. I don’t have many options for suicide, just this and falling off the Golden Gate , but I hesitate on the bridge. I just […]

9/23/2014 3 comments

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