people can be so blind to whats going on with other people i find it insane. For a few years now ive been depressed and im bipolar. Senior year i ended up cutting my wrist feeling alone is never fun. I simply dont understand all the people that i thought i was friends with or my family for a matter of fact can simply just not see the true pain and auffering i go though everyday. This past year i went to college and there was a bridge right near campus that 3 people would jump off of each month. The first time i heard […]
Tag:
find
This is my second post on here….when I say post, I mean not just making a comment on someone else’s account.
I promised a friend on Saturday, that I would take one day (today meaning Sunday) to really consider what I am doing. What I am planning to do, in hopes that I would find something within myself to hang on. He is a spiritual person, however I am not, at least not anymore and haven’t been in many years. However, it didn’t hurt for me to want to hold onto something, it didn’t hurt me to try. So with an open mind and heart, I […]
The harder I try to find a reason to live the more the world spits in my face…
It’s funny how things work, I suppose. I always seem to end up right where I started; in the dark. I’ve been trying to sleep for the past few hours but nothing is working, I’m disgustingly wide awake.
I’m just going to write how I’ve been feeling lately in this post, you don’t need to read it, not at all I just need an outlet.
My older brother and his wife had moved out, right? well, they’re back. I should’ve expected it, I really should have. On top of that the man who made me first start to hate myself, my grandfather, lives here now too. That’s […]
Work has me in a hotel tonight since I’m homeless. Worst one they could have picked. Apparently there’s a Hottest Women in America convention going on because the hotel is packed with all women. Yeah I want a gun to blow my fucking brains out right this second. My ‘friend’ is coming over but I’m sure he’ll find one of these women to fuck and forget about me. I’m so fuckng sick of this shit, being too fucking ugly to ever be loved, being homeless and all alone in the world!!!!
I tried to help a friend – a dear dear friend
It backfired – he hates me
I have nothing nothing left
I am leaving tonight – probably in a few minutes
They may not find me – hopefully not
My kids deserved better
My friend deserved better
I am sorry God
I tried
I failed
And the world is no more worse off than when I entered
Now I leave no more breathing, no more tears
I’m done
Goodbye
Tomorrow the cycle
My human
Tree like the oak
Long-sacred
What do you call this
Crossing line of design
I am here to go and to find
I’ve always been on my own, the reason
Cast from paragon
Conquer the dark, the dragon
…
And then, I’ma play Pokemon.
From the rope
I used to be a number one
Like I was, Washington
All alone like still no-one knows
Embracing the truth
Down, so ever down
Grime and the muck
I guess if I’m on my own, now
Do not wish for to find, but be the way
For me
Like the pain of singularity
The child of the pity and of the piety
Humility
Diffidence
To Undead, if you leave
I reckon, the cycle went along.
Just thought I’d make a post for those of you suffering physical pain and discomfort.
Many people are ignorant to the “scientific fact” that the left hemisphere of our brain controls motor function to the skeletal muscles on the right side of our body and vice versa. If you were to accept that movement begins with the eyes (you look in the direction you are traveling or intend to travel) then we must also consider the optic nerve and the way in which nerve impulses are sent from the brain (visual corteX) to the eye muscles.
There are in fact 2 branches of optic nerve […]
If you sit waiting for peace you will never find it. If you sit around simply hoping that life will get better that you will get a sign that there is a reason to continue, you will get nothing. ACTIONS, very important thing here. Without that you can’t expect anything. You have to do things to better your life and it’s not gonna happen over night maybe not in a week or a month or 5 months. Just think of it in terms of losing weight and getting toned, you can’t expect to be completely in shape in a month especially if you haven’t fully […]
I’ve been desperate to find some pro-suicide chat rooms or forums, ones that are well-frequented. Many of the old ones are dead. Forums and chats where one can make suicide-pacts are also greatly appreciated. I know I can’t be the only one searching. Thank you in advance.
The last place, where I can go
When Berserk has
At least the windows are open
Maybe if we wait the other time
I wander, how you even see
Somehow, can she find
So that and then
Perhaps, to clemency
Of what is the wrong
All that I have ever
It’s incredible
What you don’t even
I’m chanting
In the singing, of the Muk
The voice of Espeon
Can’t do anything
Retribution
Of the lamb
.
I wish I could just die already. I’m so sad all the time and I know that there is no way to escape it anymore. It feels like there’s this animal that lives in my stomach that eats every spark of happiness away. Any emotion at all is torn to pieces and all that is left is this shitty body.
I already walk around like a zombie, everyone knows it. I can hear people saying it behind my back. They treat me as if I’m a bomb; and time is slowly ticking away. What hurts me is that they’re completely right, and I am looking forward […]
so i am thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend of 10 years to focus on finding a good job with my education. She is all i had. trust me i wont find someone else to love me. just trust me (just trust me). I am focused on finding a good job soon, or im ending my life. Its that simple. if i find a job, i will contact her. she is not focused on a job, and it is hurting me to stay with her right now. im totally alone. i want to live, so im giving myself 2 years to find a good […]
i need resources to help me find a quality job. if anyone has knowledge on resources to help me, please let me know. seriously. i can send my email address (to anyone who is serious)), and tell you what i kind of training i have. please let me know, thanks a bunch.
it has been many months since i last posted on this website and i honestly thought i was getting better. Then, BAM!!! life gets you down once again and you find yourself asking the same meaningless question : ‘why me?’.
first i lost my family and simultaneously i started to fail my modules and have my bursary tugged away. i keep trying. i keep trying to pull myself up again but i dont understand why i need to suffer so much. so far my career is all i have left but now even that is fading from my life. it isnt like im not trying or […]
My relationship is being bludgeoned over and over by my inaction in slow motion.
written by Trapped in My Head
It feels like ages ago that I met my boyfriend, only it’s only been a matter of weeks. That time, I was still paying for my own rent with my part time job, and going for a language class.
I was contented with my life that time, because I lived in the same city as my younger sister, who was attending university there. I was new to the city myself, so I had no friends except those I saw in class. It was hard to talk to them more than just “schoolmates” so it was bland for my tastes. I decided to get some folks to […]
I’m scared because the only thing that has kept me from going over the edge are my boys and it seems lately that isn’t enough. I know those feelings are selfish and they make me feel like a horrible person and mother. Which just pushes me further to edge. I’ve tried to talk to a friend and I just keep being told that I’m fine, maybe I’m PMSing. I can’t find anyone to talk to me seriously and I’m afraid that if I talk to a doctor they’ll take my kids away. I don’t want to die but I can’t live like this.
I love you, Alicia. I can’t live anymore, and I hope you can understand. I just want to find ultimate peace…. a permanent solution to my constant suffering.
See you on the otherside.
and it’s so painful to see you in such despair.
That this must be our cross to bear, what brings us together as perfect strangers. The black dog on our shoulder. Wish it could be anything else for all of us.
I spent all night last night reading through posts and comments. When I came in I was crying for myself, hoping not to feel the end of my rope once more. I went to bed crying for others, hoping they can somehow find their way back up their rope, and if not, that they can find in death the peace they so crave and deserve. I […]