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find

I don’t know what to do anymore…

by ZeZombie 2/10/2016

written by ZeZombie

I’m sixteen…and even so I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.

I feel like I’ve failed my parents and I’ve failed myself more than ever. For the past two to three years, I’ve tried to commit suicide, but I can’t bring myself to use a knife, or to pop a pill, or even to hang myself. I used to cut, but that became a hard stop when my parents found out and I’ve been clean since then. I tried talking to my counselor, but my parents got mad because they said: “It makes us look bad!”

I’m falling apart..inch by inch. I don’t like […]

2/10/2016 4 comments

better, not better

by evildandelions 2/9/2016

written by evildandelions

Sometimes I feel like my depression is better, that this is just grief and anxiety. But even if it is, it doesn’t feel any easier. Maybe I can enjoy things more, sort of- I was able to paint this weekend- but on the other hand I can’t seem to write creatively. I had a short story due and for the first time since junior year of high school (about a decade ago), I missed a writing deadline. It was just like my brain wasn’t there. And while I can blame anxiety for my procrastination on my math homework, I can’t on the writing. Not fully. I […]

2/9/2016 2 comments

02/08/16 – 01:55 AM

by missanonymous 2/7/2016

written by missanonymous

Maybe one day,
people would be more careful to what they say.
Maybe one day,
we’ll find a better way to lessen the pain.
Maybe one day,
our hearts will be healed.
Maybe one day,
scars will remain.
Maybe one day,
life will give us reasons to live.
Maybe one day,
we can learn how to stand again.
Maybe one day,
we can find ourselves.

And maybe, just maybe
It can all happen one day…

2/7/2016 0 comment

I don’t want to do this anymore.

by Dungeon 2/7/2016

written by Dungeon

I’m so sick of trying to live. I will never be okay. People keep asking what am I going to do with my life, why don’t you motivate yourself, why not do what makes you happy- Nothing makes me happy I just want to throw my body off a bridge. I find it so weird how most people just expect you to want to be alive, I don’t understand how anyone wants to live through all this garbage.
I don’t want to keep trying, I don’t want to be motivated, I don’t want to get to the “good” part where I have a wife and […]

2/7/2016 12 comments

I Don’t Want To See A New Day

by A Bullet Through My Head For The Words I Fail To Say 2/7/2016

written by A Bullet Through My Head For The Words I Fail To Say

I can’t do anything. I’m a waste of space and a burden. No one cares and I’m always ignored. I hate how everyday I just get worse and worse and no one sees. But then again, apart of me doesn’t want anyone to know. I hate how I always contradict myself everytime. I want to be happy but then I feel like I don’t deserve it. I want to be more open with people, get help but then I don’t. I just can’t do anything. I’ve gotten to the point in my life where I almost can’t find happiness in anything and all I want […]

2/7/2016 1 comment

The nature of all tragedies

by EternalED 2/6/2016

written by EternalED

You will die, some day, some time, you will die. You will absolutely die. Even if you avoid this death, another will find you. And I guarantee, that It won’t be nearly as poetic or meaningful as what she’s written.

2/6/2016 0 comment

RIP Dave Mirra

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/4/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

We are not the only ones who feel how we feel. Hes someone i watched growing up and he died how i wanted to die 3 hours away from where i now live its crazy to think.

http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/14717868/x-games-icon-dave-mirra-dead-41-apparent-suicide-greenville-north-carolina

May you find the peace in death you couldnt find in life. If heaven exists im sure there is a halfpipe.

2/4/2016 2 comments

When Marni Was There: where you can find it

by 200085 2/3/2016

written by 200085

You can try watchcartoononline.com. look in the movie section.

2/3/2016 0 comment

My time

by No1important 2/3/2016

written by No1important

I know I don’t mean anything to any of you, but I just need someone to know how scared of myself I am.

I continuously have dreams in which I end up dying, more often than not, by my own hand. I’ve jumped off buildings, jumped in front of moving cars, slit my wrists, overdosed, etc. I day dream and lose myself in suicidal role plays threatening my sanity. I wish I could turn off my thoughts for a day. I wish I could stop getting lost playing scenarios like pornography to an addict. Am I addicted to the thought of my death? Do I desire […]

2/3/2016 14 comments

New Here

by isnot 2/1/2016

written by isnot

Stumbled upon this site and I’m wondering if others feel they are looking for something that doesn’t exist. Compulsive shopper thinking I will find something that will make a difference in my life. Really don’t know how long I’ve been doing this and curious if this is common. Thanks

2/1/2016 5 comments

Things don’t get easier

by creep25 1/29/2016

written by creep25

I never wanted to live, not even when I was a child. I still remember when I was 9 years old and cut myself for the first time. I squat there in the sand behind my classroom and sawed at my arm with the metal insert of a wooden ruler until I saw blood. I hated myself so much and the only thing that seemed to take the pressure away was putting myself in pain. When I was 13 I tried a knife for the first time but it was the razor blades I discovered at 20 that changed things for me. In college I […]

1/29/2016 1 comment

Emailing Someone and Day 7 of Music

by Zetsumei 1/29/2016

written by Zetsumei

Just out of curiosity, is there any way to email members on here? There are some members I wouldn’t mind talking with through email or IM. Ironically, there is even a member that peaked my interest. Granted, I will try to see if it’s possible to see what makes them tick to better understand my insanity… And to see if there is a way out of this labyrinth called madness that doesn’t end in self-sacrifice.

Nevermind the music, I can’t find any other songs besides love songs… Illuminated in the darkness by artificial light, the laughter of madness ringing in my ears, I shall devour my […]

1/29/2016 15 comments

Belonging

by cleco 1/27/2016

written by cleco

I feel like I got confirmation today that I just don’t belong. I knew there was something wrong with me. Some hideous abnormality lurking beneath the surface. I wanted to wring the entire world in my hands – twist the planet round and round until all the pain and injustice leaked from it. I wanted to cleanse my soul of the mental torture I had allowed myself to both mete out and endure. I am my own prisoner – a hostage of a world I created to escape the hand I’ve been dealt.

I have grown up watching the world go by – observing others find […]

1/27/2016 2 comments

A Daylight

by HeartLies 1/26/2016

written by HeartLies

I woke up this morning seeing the bright light from the sun.It was 11:11 am,I must’ve drink too much alcohol last night that I feel a lil’bit tipsy this morning.I was talking to a friend in which I have lied about something,still,she can’t decide if she’s going to stay or not I think I deserve it anyway.I lied to people who cared and accepted me.Im a bullshit.She might stay or not,nothing will change I’m still going to be free on Feb 1,in the arms of death I’ll find comfort.

1/26/2016 1 comment

A book

by Moneypenny 1/25/2016

written by Moneypenny

There’s this book that’s really something. ‘What has no name’ by Piedad Bonnet.

It’s about how a mother reads and comprenhends her son’s suicide as a search for peace and freedom, and it’s based on what really happened. I don’t know how many books may talk about real cases like this one, but I really think this author has a lot to say. Her son was sick, he suffered squizofrenia, but even if you can’t relate to that desease I think this book is worthy…

It goes like this (just a few paragraphs):

Daniel died in New York the 14th of may of 2011, at one and ten […]

1/25/2016 1 comment

It’s kind of funny :-)

by Still wandering 1/25/2016

written by Still wandering

So, I found out that my family find out about me. They find out how vulnerable I am. They found that I’m not mentally healthy.
And I find out that they find out quite a time ago.

I should be something ; angery, nervous, anxious. I can also cry, i can be relived I can be worried but I have no feelings. Neither this thing hurt me nor it gave comfort to me. I’m exactly like I was a minute before. Caught in an argument, they confronted, I refused and went to my room. No talk.
It’s kinda funny situation. 😀 Her child is in pain, […]

1/25/2016 6 comments

Hopeless

by Moneypenny 1/24/2016

written by Moneypenny

I get this strong sensation quite often. An emptiness of positivism, a desperation, and a need to hide and stop thinking and feeling. Several things trigger it. But very few can make it disappear, and those are never the same. Like if the damaged part of me is always defeating the one that is trying to feel better. Little victories that wont sum up. You see, it’s as if I wanted the damaged part to win, but then I don’t know where the other one comes from. So the reality is the fighting one is stronger than I thought. But this battle is taking away […]

1/24/2016 2 comments

trying to find some hope in either to succeed in dying or getting over it

by Varisha 1/23/2016

written by Varisha

I recently broke up.. and its my 2nd break up n in both relationship’s I was very serious.. when I had my 1st breakup my friend , helped me to get over it.. and I fell for him.. and also he lykd me so he took great care of me n helped a lot to move on.. and eventually I started lying him and loving him.. I don’t knw whether it was wrong or right.. I loved him.. and I loved him a lot.. more than I have loved anyone ever.. but he left.. even though he knew I would be devastated, he knew how broken […]

1/23/2016 4 comments

A Miser’s words of wisdom: Thomas Hardy Collection

by Counting The Days Until I'm gone 1/16/2016

written by Counting The Days Until I'm gone

To an Unborn Pauper Child
Thomas Hardy (1840-1928)

Breathe not, hid Heart: cease silently,
And though thy birth-hour beckons thee,
Sleep the long sleep:
The Doomsters heap
Travails and teens around us here,
And Time-wraiths turn our songsingings to fear.

Hark, how the peoples surge and sigh,
And laughters fail, and greetings die:
Hopes dwindle; yea,
Faiths waste away,
Affections and enthusiasms numb:
Thou canst not mend these things if thou dost come.

Had I the ear of wombèd souls
Ere their terrestrial chart unrolls,
And thou wert […]

1/16/2016 0 comment

Find your exoskeleton: People do care

by Counting The Days Until I'm gone 1/15/2016

written by Counting The Days Until I'm gone

Quite surprisingly, I have survived my suicide attempts 12 times over the last seven years. Though this is not necessarily something to be boastful about, I believe that things happen for a reason; even if the premise behind my repetitive failures is unbeknownst at this particular time.
I am eighteen years old, and this dark phase of my life began seven years ago subsequent to the loss of a an individual who I considered to be more of a mother to me than that assigned to me biologically. Subsequently, I lost the only real paternal figure I had two years ago. Between these two losses, […]

1/15/2016 3 comments

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