my friend took his own life on march 18, 2013. he gambled with his own life as he spun the cylinder to his prized .45 revolver, looked dead into his best friend’s eyes and pulled the trigger… he had a 1 in 6 chance of death and he took that- he left no warnings before hand… i dont think he thought it would go off… Â but it did… and now he’s gone…….. he thought he had no one but his best friend- and even then, he knew he was gonna move in with his girlfriend and Robert would be homeless and living in his […]
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Friends
I just need to get it out. I’m 30 in July. I’ve never once had a job. I’m mentally disabled but can’t get on disability. Everyone treats me like I’m trash not worth helping. I’ve been bullied all through school, treated like I’m scum by the government, and my own family looks at me with contempt.
All I do anymore is sit and cry. When I try to talk to anyone it’s always “What do you have to be depressed about.” I can’t afford to get help, the government keeps denying me help because my parents aren’t complete assholes, and every place I apply to looks […]
You can get addicted to a certain kinda sadness,
Like resignation to the end, always the end.
So when we found that we could not make sense,
Well you said that we would “still be friends.”
But I’ll admit that I was glad that it was over.
But you didn’t have to cut me off,
Make it like it never happened and that we were nothing.
I don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough..
Hi, my name is Tyler… I’m about to turn 16 in July… I’m exceptionally gay… Which means that I’m gay with one person in my life who is an exception… Her name is Koral… Her and I dated for what would have been four months tomorrow… She broke up with me last Monday… My life has been hell ever since… She claims the reason for her breaking up with me, is that she used to have a feeling for me before we broke up, that she would always want to be around me physically, and she would get excited to talk to me, and be […]
Im not sure If I am truely mentally ill or if i subconsiously want to think I am.
by SomeGuy1993
written by SomeGuy1993
The tittle is strange but it is what im going through. It might be completely retarded but I have to throw this out there and hear from some other people. This site seems like a good place to do that.
Needless to say that im here because I been having some issues involving the idea of suicide, and im going to just say everything thats been bothering me and why. Im going to start off by listing some medical/Social that might be a cause. Also, I am 19 and male and white.
Medical/social suspicions:
– My mother is manic Bi-polar who attempted suicide and I have a brother […]
i found this website by searching for ways to overdose on pills so i decided to make an account to see if it would help but, now from reading other posts from people that are around 30 and over that i cant relate to in debt and what not, it just makes me feel even more alone. I’m only 13 and i really shouldn’t be deserving any of the crap i get. I know that people have it worse than me but right now, i should be worrying about boys and whatever a 13 year old girl worries about, i shouldn’t be worry about hiding my scars. […]
So…It’s been a cliché to say that you feel that your heart is shattered into millions of pieces because your boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you, but I have to admit that I’m my case, I’m sorta glad my relationship is over. About two hours ago my “boyfriend” broke up with me because I didn’t text him back…I know, stupid right? But anyways, all he said is “I’m leaving you” and all I said was “okay” and I didn’t burst into tears or jump up and down laughing, I mean, I honestly had no reaction, life went on and I don’t feel horrible or […]
If anyone has read my previous posts, you’d know that I’m not really here for affirmation or advice to deal with a boyfriend, family troubles, friends, etc. I’m here to maximize my chance for a successful end, and I hope to find those who are able to give me advice on that end.
I have planned to leave by summer but am struggling to clean everything, put my affairs in order, etc. This is a must. I believe in a well-planned out suicide, so there will be no such thing as a short “crisis moment” or a poor decision based on a situational crisis. I need […]
I’m not someone who anybody would suspect to be suicidal. I’m 17. I have the top grades in my class. I’m pretty (or so people tell me). I have a great group of friends. I’m popular. I’m funny. I’m well dressed. But at the end of the day, I hate myself. I hate myself more than anyone else could possibly hate me. But I’m still here. Read this and I’ll tell you why.
As I’m typing this tears are streaming down my face. My mom just finished another round of yelling at me to kill myself and how I’m a failure who will never amount to […]
I’m a 17 year old girl, and I’m still alive. I suppose I should start off with the positives.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression a year and a half ago, and most of my friends know. I don’t have the energy to do any work at home, and at college I can’t concentrate and just keep having to go to the toilets and cry. I’m going to fail all my exams, I’ve accepted that, and for the moment I’m just trying to concentrate on staying alive. I want to drop out and get a job, but I would keep breaking down and crying there too […]
Friend called the cops on me after I told him I was ready to die.
After that dehumanizing experience, I want to die even more. I learned that if I should ever attempt suicide, just let them find the body. My life has been ostensibly good lately: got a dream job, making friends, accepted to universities, yet I can’t get over losing  him. I never will. I really don’t know what to do anymore.
Even with all of my personal growth and success, I’m still not good enough for him.
I have always wanted a best friend, and the only thing close to that was this girl named Breanna*, but she got mad a lot at me for not thinking the was she does and she had another group she would hang around with and i dont think they liked me because in a way i was a higher class then them but i never saw people as classes i just saw them for who they were. Anyway back to my point, it is not like i dont have any friends, but these friends are more like, how would you put it.. acquaintance. Everyone seems to […]
So I’m know I’m not the only one who is actively wishing and hoping that my life turns around soon and I magically become happy, or simply find a few real world (offline) friends to ease the feelings of loneliness….and yet while waiting for this to happen, wouldn’t mind if my life would just end.
I do not want to “commit suicide” though, because I know the pain this causes from family experience and I don’t want my family to know I was selfish enough to do that to them. Â But drugs – well an accidental overdose isn’t QUITE the same. If I overdose on pills, […]
I’ve never been one for expressing my feelings. But in the past two years i have seen two of my closest friends pass one from an o.d and the other from a gang beating. No one was arrested for the beating and were all free. I haven’t been able to let a day go by without wishing i was them. I have thoughts of my finally moments in my head everyday now. I am bullied at schhool teased and not aloud to make my own choices. My life is run by other people and when ever i try to talk about my problems all my […]
Today during creative writing class my teacher really wanted to read a poem I wrote about me loosing my best friend (well she didn’t know what it was about). I didn’t want to say no because it would have hurt her feelings, so I said “sureâ€. She started reading the emotion-filled poem out loud. We had a visitor in our class who, just from the few lines my teacher had read, was completely focused in and had an amazed look on her face. Apparently so did everyone else in the class.
As she was reading, I started to realize what the words actually meant to me. They weren’t just […]
I don’t know if I should be here (This site) Only because I haven’t hurt myself in around 5 years, but lately I’ve been feeling exactly how I did when I was 13-16 (20 now), I just don’t really want to live anymore, (Already crying) I just can’t help it, whenever I’m alone I have to fight to keep myself from either bursting into tears or picking up the knife for the first time in years, I feel so helpless and I don’t know what to do, I want to see a counselor but I don’t really like telling my life story to new people every week […]
Wow, the last time I was here was a year ago..
& haven’t things got rough!
I was doing so well, I moved to London, started university and fell ridiculously depressed.
I relapsed again and again
I don’t think in control with myself anymore, my head is all over the place and my body is suffering. My bones are becoming weaker and weaker and I can’t cope. I almost broke my ankle recently and because of this my University won’t pass me for my first year because of the time off. I’ve been having tests upon tests to see whether I have a serious illness, they want to […]
This is kind of long….
The longer I sit here the more I think about not posting this, returning to my dark corner of existence, but posting will relieve some of this pressure… I hope. I don’t know why I chose now to share my story, but then again maybe I do. For my degree I have to take a mandatory counseling class, and to pass the class we were made to stand in front of the entire class and tell about how screwed up our lives had been. Loss. Heartbreak. Rape. Molestation. Abuse. Suicide. We heard it all. Having to go through my own personal […]
I have been lurking on this sight for a while. I thought I would post my story. Until about 15 years ago, I had a good life. I had friends, normal ups and downs. I was able to cope with what life handed to me.  I got married and had a very difficult time having a child. It worked out in the end, but husband was abusive, etc. I was lonely. I tried to connect wi other Moms. ±Gradually over time, I ended up with just aquantences  or “group” friends (people invite me to events and parties, but not one on one. It was very […]
There’s no such thing like a purpose or a meaning in life, in fact the whole universe exists without a special reason or purpose. People invented the notion of “purpose in life” so they could cope better with other people’s mistakes, selfishness, cruelty, or because they envy other people’s realisations and thereby they feel less worthy to society and need something to make them go on. It’s a form of self defense, I think. So why is it bad to want to stop carrying traumatic,bad memories or incurable diseases with you? Because other people would suffer from losing you?
We are conditioned to think we have […]