I think I hate myself… no wait, I know I hate myself.
I’m just sick of everything. I’m sick of the pressure to try and fit in, to try and have friends, to look good so people talk to me.
I’m sick of being a people pleaser, of hurting other people.
I’m such a f*cking *****.
I wish i could stop thinking straight. I wish I could let go of my obsessions. I wish I could run away and be alone forever. I wish I could slash up every inch of my body. Anything to get away from this f*cked sense of reality I’ve learned […]
In early 2009 I started dealing with severe recurrent depression, even though I was undiagnosed at the time. Â I’m sure many of you know what that feels like. Â I felt like my life had no point, none of my classes were interesting, I didn’t want to hang out with my friends, and I just hated everything and everyone, especially myself. Â All of these emotions just kept building up until I couldn’t deal with it anymore. Â In September of that year I tried to overdose on sleeping pills. Â I calculated what the lethal dose for someone my size would be, and took that plus a few […]
I don’t know why I feel this way. I use to be a mellow, laid back person. I worked hard, but only if the benefits outweighed the costs. I graduated high school, got into a university. I did everything I was told to do and everything that was expected of me. My whole purpose had been drilled into me to get to college. Never anything else. Now I have a job and attend classes. No one even looks this way now. As long as I continue to work and take classes I am ignored. Until they want something of course. My father, does not even […]
My friends don’t care about me. I don’t even know if they’re my friends. I’ve been crying all month and there’s this pain on my chest. They never bother to ask, they never comfort me. I have no one. My family does not care, they have been the reason for my depression. I have no one to talk to. No one has bothered asking if I’m gonna be fine. It’s always ”are you okay?” I say YEA. and that’s it. THAT’S THE END OF IT. Do they really care? I’ve been so down lately. I have no one, and it’s making me even more sad. […]
I feel numb right now, Â maybe of the anti depressants im taking, they make me feel weird. I cant sleep even though ive taken enough sleeping tablets to knock me out 3 times. I dont have anyone to talk to. I dont have the energy to write details, but here is my basic story.
My life for as long as I can remember has been unhappy, Ive been physically & mentally abused all my life. It made me insecure, I developed an eating disorder, self harmed and was suicidal a long time, I told myself when i’m older I wont feel like this and it will […]
 
Hello people.
I am 15 and from Brazil. I think this post is gonna be long, but I ask you to read it.
The point of my post is not sharing my self-harming story. But let’s start with it.
The time was 2011. I had some problems with people. Actually, people were my problem.
These Internet fads were rising at that time, in my country. Not only that, I was 13, that moment when we start to grow up and realize how people are […]
I am 37 with ADHD I Â I am over qualified but uncpder experienced for jobs _a fruitcake with no friends only a married man for company and I want to die every day of my shit life. Too intelligent to be happy with little as my sister a corporate lawyer earning millions and is pretty with husband and 2.4 kids I’m the reject genes and fail at everything – how can you kill yourself when you’ve Tories several times previously and jeep waking up the next day? Obviously have a guardian angel with a fucking sick sense of humour
I’m sitting in Spanish class right now And just can’t take it anymore. I don’t know how, but I will be dead by midnight tonight. I have the worst friends and barely any. Everyone else goes out of their way to make me wanna die. I just want to make them all feel terrible. I want everyone, to regret how they treated me. If I’m still alive, I won’t have gained respect. I’m gonna end it tonight.
I miss being a little kid the world was so pretty and I loved life. Now things are not what I expected to be like. I often wonder if I could of fixed it. My life just shattered. My counselor thinks my depression is caused by my past. Maybe it was I’m not sure but I just I want to feel good again not feel so disconnected all the time. I have really bad social anxiety I have no friends I’m alone. I think I like being alone I pushed all of  them away. Yet sometimes I wish I had someone who just understand me. I am […]
I have to ask… am I an ideal suicide candidate? My family life has all but gone to shit (and trust me, I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING to change that around); I have a job that makes me miserable and I’ve had enough jobs to know it’s not getting any better out there. I can’t afford school ( I’m 22) and I don’t know where I want to see myself career-wise. I hate the way I look, despite compliments, which seem more like desperate attempts from friends to raise my self-esteem or from guys to get in my pants. I could go on… I’m serious about […]
to be honest i’m not really sure what i’m doing on this site but i’m ust gonna go with it. I’m not trying to sway anyone into my thinking or anything this is just my own experiences and opinions. So I’ve read a few posts and stuff and it’s kind of strange but i feel like i can relate. People are saying stuff like “oh you won’t do it” and stuff like that but ppl will, they always do and that’s what’s wrong with this site. you shouldn’t test ppl. I’m just hoping to get some advice on how to kill this shit before myself. […]
Today a girl talked to me. The one I’ve been wanting to be friends with since I  turned up at the college. Her name is Tina and she’s from a parallel group. I honestly don’t know why she gifted me with that 5-minute chat. She was bored, obviously. And probably in a bad mood because of having to get up too early. It could be just that none of her friends was around to engage her, so she sat next to me and complained. It felt so awkward, I couldn’t find words to keep the conversation going. All I could manage was a couple of […]
I’m jumping, but thanks for being my friends. I love you but were on different sides of the world i bet. bye loves… Miss me not.
xx Jacqueline.
I think I’m done. I can’t tell anyone about this. So why not tell you? I wish everything would go back to the way it was. was When I was happy. No one was hurting me. I’m soooo tired of it. And when my friends try to tell they end up marketing things better for a little bit. bit But it just gets worse again. It all because I thought that I could trust him. But I couldn’t. Why am I always wrong?
It’s been a while since I’ve posted and I’m actually getting worse. I’m beginning to hate everything even more than I already do. It’s a good thing I haven’t cut myself in over a month.
I’m so tired of faking the same smile everyday and pretending to be happy when I’m not. I have a fucking brain tumor. Why can’t I manage to be happy? Whenever I begin to feel better something bad happens and ruins it. Tonight I thought about killing myself for the first time in weeks.
If I ended it all, no one would care.. my family would be happy a load […]
I want to die, but I don’t want to want that.
What I want is friends and a purpose.
I’m always surrounded by people, and yet so profoundly alone.
And the friends that remain think I am unpleasant in my depressed, manic state,
so I humor them with smiles.
Empty, empty smiles.
I just want a connection.
I don’t want to be disposable.
I hate everything about myself,
but mostly I hate that I think that way.
I think I’m broken.
So, I haven’t been on here for a few months actually, I thought my life turned around, at first my life seemed worthwhile, but…. I’m back. and honestly, this time I have no idea why. I shouldn’t be as sad as I am right now, I’m graduating highschool in a few months, I have to get a grad dress and a date. I have to decide what I want to be career-wise, but before that, college/university.. I should be ecstatic about all this happening right now.
but I’m not. Don’t ask me why, cause I don’t have an answer for you. Once again, I just feel […]
this is messing with my thought process. The endless cycle of bad, then good, then worse.. I dont like making decisions that i know will hurt my other relationships, like with my friends. After 6 days on break, where i was out of energy to really think about anything, and have everyone repeatedly tell me that hes not worth it, hes a fat, ugly guy who cant be a athlete, etc. He decides he wants to be with me. I felt instantly better because this kid has changed me in ways i dont understand. I really want to explain this to my friends, but they […]
I loved you, I loved you so so much, but I could just never tell you, I wanted to keep you as my friend and I tried, I tried so hard to keep my friend. I always try so hard with you and I just can’t do it anymore, you don’t understand how much it’s hurting me that you don’t even acknowledge the effort I make, it might not seem like much but it’s hard for me to just let go, but i’m trying but I just don’t even see why anymore babe. I’m sick of of you throwing me aside for what you consider […]
On TV or in books the protagonist is always described as “ordinary girl”, someone that just looks like no one special but turns out to be very special to just the right boy… People always want to stand out, be that little bit extra pretty, extra smart and just special. I just realised from the very beginning that I had no shot at being special in a good, charming way and extra pretty never kicked in either. I lost the “cute” when I turned about 12 and it just never came back. Instead I just grew tall, and big and insecure. I faked confidence well […]