to be honest i’m not really sure what i’m doing on this site but i’m ust gonna go with it. I’m not trying to sway anyone into my thinking or anything this is just my own experiences and opinions. So I’ve read a few posts and stuff and it’s kind of strange but i feel like i can relate. People are saying stuff like “oh you won’t do it” and stuff like that but ppl will, they always do and that’s what’s wrong with this site. you shouldn’t test ppl. I’m just hoping to get some advice on how to kill this shit before myself. Your probably thinking she’d never do it. I’ve tried 3 times in the last 6 months. nothing worked. it’s practically a fucking medical miracle! i’ve overdosed heavily. see my reality is that i’m really well known and popular, my profession has me that way. everybody around here “knows” me but they don’t fuckin know me. my friends dont even know me. but i have this best friend. we literally spend every opportunity hanging out she’s great. but once she finds out i have a mental disorder and i’m not actually in reality the best fun all the time and i’m in deep shit she just becomes numb. we never talk about anything it’s like ive lost a friend. but have i really ever had a friend if i was pretending to be someone else all the time? it’s fucking sick. i swan around uni every day with a big happy smile and chat shit to everyone then go home and harm! i cant deal with this shit anymre. my parents are sending me to every psychiatrist they can find. i’m so miserable. i broke up with my boyfriend cos i ddn wanna hurt him with all this shit. i never tell anyone whats going on. i’m going into a rehab centre soon and it’s my last hope. i can’t kill this cancerous like shit in my head without taking me with it. everyday i get more unstable and irrational. i cant control my emotions or feelings. playing a waiting game here. fuck everyone. ppl are so obsessed with their own lives and i get it, everyone wants to be the star of their own movie blah blah blah but you need a fucking cast. like i’m always there for my friends when they’re crying over lollipop drama like boyfriends and bitches. but i cant tell anyone, if word got out i’d become an outcast. i dont wanna go into detail about why i’m like this but lets just say i had a bad childhood. i’ve been drinking so excuse the lack of order. giz a shout if you think anything from this. please dont give me abuse i’m emotionally unstable haha cheers.