Why would you pretend to care for me? Act like you actually liked me.. Dang dude.. You fucked with me.. & It hurt.. Especially not knowing what I did so wrong for you to stop talking to me.. You put my number into your friends phone.. Why? To see how I’m doing? Fuck with you dude! Rog says you stopped talking to me because I’m ‘Different’ … How? I don’t even want to do this anymore.. I can’t stop thinking about you.. You really hurt me & I don’t know if I can except this one.. The pain in my heart is strong this […]
The pain hurts so bad, my body feels like someones chrushing it, and i can barley breath. Once again im alone, depressed, and with many sharp objects all i have to choose. But i sit on my bed staring at the clock whispering one more minute as his voice screams in my head “it’s our secret”…..”you better keep it”
“Or i’ll kill you” i wanna scream fun back to my friends, but i’ve gone home for that night and again im alone, the pain is just to much as flashbacks push there way into my head. My heads throbbing and im shaking, it feels like someones […]
I don’t know what it is but somehow people dislike me right after they see me. I am nice, shy and I am hygienic but something on my is repelling everyone. When I talk to them … when I try to talk to them … they either ignore me or push me away with ‘what do you want fatty/*****/loser’. There is no one I can talk to. Even when we have to make groups at school, I am the last one to be picked (which really does hurt) or I just get those look ‘ugh, she is in our group’. I’m scared to say something; […]
Can’t stop thinking about this shit, have to write it or I’ll do something really fucking stupid
I have been having suicidal thoughts lately
Seems like the easiest way out…..yet I’ve seen how suicide affects my friends, and I don’t want them to feel the pain of going through that ever again
So I’m stuck in an endless loop of torturing myself
I don’t fear death, I embrace it
Why fear something you know nothing about? It could be the best thing that ever happened to you
I am ugly, and all people ever seem to care about is how a person looks
Even if one of my friends is eyeing someone, they always judge them based on what they look like, and involve me
Even I’m guilty of […]
I am never good enough. first its school, then its at home, and now my friends. I hate drugs, absolutely hate them and my best friend got this boyfriend who made her int a big ass druggy and now its my fault that her and our other “friends” call me a loser because i don’t do it with them. i changed my Facebook profile picture to me and my boyfriend at prom with her and her ex boyfriend saying “I miss this..” because that was the last time we ever hung out because now shes too busy. (on my birthday i invited her and her […]
I was at that muslim cemetery you were buried in, which is a little heart wrenching because you are without a doubt athiest. I found some kind of ritual you can do to bring a loved one back for a little while, it was hell to do, but it was possible and I did it. You came back but it wasn’t the same. You were happier, and more at peace, rather you were still your condescending self. Just not as much. We talked for a while, and I felt so much better. Your family members and some friends came to the gravesite. Some could see […]
You disappear…
What have I done to deserve this?
I’ve always been the good child. The one who would eat all their veggies, do their homework, listen to their parents, do well in school and sports and yet I’m always the one at fault. Reading some of these posts, I really have no right to complain about my life because others have it worse than I do. I grew up with both parents, I’m healthy, and we don’t have to worry about money. What more could I ask? All I’ve wanted, was to have someone to love me or care for me. Unfortunately, some things in the […]
I’m tired. Really really tired. I just realized something today. I’ve been struggling my whole life for what? Nothing I do can change the outcome of my life. All I can do is choose whether I want to make things more difficult for myself or not.
I haven’t seen my therapist in almost a month. I know I should contact her and I feel bad for not showing up. But, talking with her is painful. It reminds me of what things should be like and how I want things to be. But, that’s never going to happen for me.
I could go to school. I could suck […]
When my friends got problems I´m always there for them, and forget mine. When I really feel bad, I´ll push them away. Why can´t I just feel great and love my life and all who is in it? I know LIFE can really sucks sometimes but, all the time? FML -.-“
So many countless times I have thought about killing myself.I wrote suicide letters after everytime I think about it. I have attempted it a couple of times but then I chicken out. I’m scared of death. I don’t know what Is going to happen to me. I wish I could be dead for a couple of seconds then come Back to see what death is and if I’m able to see things again. Will I see eternal darkness, will I be stuck in a happy dream? Or will I be reincarnated as someone or something else?
I used to think that being scared of death right […]
i’m the type of person who hesitates to kill myself because i still have faith that maybe something good can happen. so i make a little agreement with myself; if nothing happens, if i’m not ever happy, within 2-3 months, i will die. every time i’ve done this i’ve met a wonderful person who seemed to be capable of being a good enough friend to make me decide to live an extra 3 or so months.
now that i’m with my girlfriend, this something good will nearly always be present which means i’m “safe” for a bit (or forever if she stays with me that long). but […]
i guess I’ve had a good life, my family isn’t rich, but i feel alone. all my pets never lasted, most of my friends i never saw more than once. My parents, and one of my sisters, yell at me constantly, and i just feel like nobody cares. im bad at school, and at sports, and the only thing im even sort of good at is video games. i guess i just want a friend.
My life has always been messed up. The earliest memory I can remember was of my mum holding one of my arms and dragging my out the front door of my first home and my other hand reaching out for my dad who stood and watched. I was screaming and crying. I didn’t want to go.
I’ve lived in many homes since my mum and dad got divorced. And mum has had many boyfriends. One was Gavin who had a son. They were really nice at first but I got scared of Gavin. One day during one of Their arguments I was hungry so I […]
So, the story is: my family and I had as friends another family (my friend, her mom, her dad and her brother) since I was a little baby.
They were like family to me, my friend was like my sister, her brother was like my brother and her parents were like my second parents. They had always treated me VERY well, as part of the family, and so did we, we are all very united.
Problem is: my friend’s dad, in a point in my childhood, had sexually abused me. He didn’t rape me at all, just touched me and had ALOT of physical contact. I never […]
I found my dadas vodaks and i drunk it drunk it all up. Like the bigger man supossed to be. Hahahahhha, what a *****. he deruves it for lying to me. Don mess with da drugs. i think i did it to stop he from drinking it heself but i cant really focus right mow. meow meow meow. i ment to say now. you know what? being drunk isnt as great as people say. i knocked my lamp over and it cut me. cutting is waaaay butter. and i don know hich site im on but it seems kind of nice. its all purple. I think i […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so lost and it’s such a long story I don’t know where to begin. There’s this boy and I’ve known him for a little over a year now. We became very fast friends and I told him everything. The first day we ever really talked I told him everything. I was sexually abused as a child, I was raped multiple times by a man I called my grandfather. He told me his life story, his troubled past with his parents, his horrible past relationship. We talked every day, all day. I moved to his city and got […]
IÂ sit there in the cafeteria
He sits on the floor he’s talking i cant hear him, my visions bluring black around the edges
I’m brought back because of an intense pain from my hand, my ex boyfriend yet again had bit me, i know he just flirting… that he’s only using me..
I smile laughing telling him it doesnt hurt, he doesnt realise he saved me from another embaressing seizure, he smiles biting my harder i ignore it typing on the computer with my left hand as i try to complete a school project. He lets go and we sit their for a while. I feel him bite […]
Why did they choose me to bully?? Why did my friends back-stab me? i was nice to them and i spent my money on them and trusted them. They just threw my trust on the ground and stomped on it. I called them my friend but they where two faced bitches. I told them secrets that they promised to keep and they told the whole school my secrets. and then they tried to be my friend again, and i forgave them and they broke my trust over and over until i finally learnde that they will never change! I have heard the word sorry so […]
Hello! They say writing and sharing your experiences can be therapeutic, and in my case that is especially true. So, today I thought I’d take a moment to sit down and have a little chat with all of you.
My story really begins about 8-9 months ago. I was going through a rough time, I had just found out I have a lump in my spine. In the past years I have been diagnosed with:
Reynauds Disease
Fibromyalgia
Osteoporosis (in my neck)
Osteoarthritis (neck, again)
Heart Arrhythmia
Severe Insomnia (still […]
I will kill myself.
I just need a letter.
I’m a waste of space. A stain on society.I’m marked with my past. All over.With ink, scars. My skin is like a road map.
I have no friends. No family.
My only loving sibling is gone. Deceased for over 3 years, now. My older sister resents me. My younger sister hardly knows me.
I’m never even around.
I don’t deserve to be around.
I know I won’t be missed.
No one will ever be upset.
That’s just the way it is, I suppose.
I’m hated, anyway. Why stay in a place where you’re stuck? Where you’re hated.
Where you’re nothing but a waste?
I imagine other people […]