I wanted to call him so badly. I hurt him telling my story and my addiction of self harm. He needed to hear my voice and i needed to hear his. But i couldnt call him because my parents would hear the conversation. They know nothing about him or my problems. They don’t need to know and they probably don’t give a shit. They are part of the problem too anyways. I asked him how he was really feeling. And he answered with lonely. I feel horrible. I feel lonely everyday and i don’t want him to feel that pain. I don’t know the future […]
Tag:
Friendship
I just slept for a long time, but all I can say is that right now I feel exhausted.
I’m tired of everything in my life at the moment.
I’m tired of the endless monotony of school and exams. I have a countdown to summer in my Planner, but knowing I still have 95 days does not do a lot to comfort me.
I’m tired of people, and the person I’m expected to be.
I’m tired of myself, and the person I’m too afraid to be.
I’m tired of the fact that everywhere I’m just not good enough anymore.
I can’t do anything properly and just fuck it all up when […]
Nurses whispered, like a constant buzzing
Looking down on us, judging us
She rested on the bed next to me
Sick from the pills they gave her
Listen        Â
Follow
Conform
In a place where friendship is weakness
Eleven is too old for trust
Never asked but always taken
Pain is exchanged for freedom
Smile
Adapt
Recover
Running scorching water over my hands
The first time I tried to burn
Unyielding ghosts clung to me
She watched lazily from her bed
Haunting
Deceiving
Thief
Dear love,Â
I am very afraid of you and for you. You made me feel great when I was down. I wish to do the same for you. But you seem to be gone. I care about you, but you won’t give me a chance to be there for you. I am sad.Â
I am afraid of losing you, I am okay with you walking out on me. But i am not okay with you walking out on life. I don’t want to be the cause of your death. I don’t want you to leave. You are awesome and you are beautiful.
Just stay. Just stay with […]
I don’t have anything to write, because I can’t put it into words. Â I’ll just complain.
I’ve pulled away from my friends, and I’m dating a guy that I could care less about because that’s easier than getting hurt.
It’s been a long process, but I’m finally at that point where I can really say that I don’t really have friends. Â I have people that I can count on, but nobody that I would talk to. Â People have tried to help me in the past, but they always end up doing more damage. Â And as for the guy, I don’t really know what to do with him. […]
It’s 3 am, I can’t sleep, but I am tired.
I wrote a few weeks back, this is a follow up, things have not gotten any better.
I managed to tell a girl i was inlove with that it was so, she reacted as i had thought, told me there were no feelings and ignored it ever happened, it bothers me. Not just that i feel somewhat heart broken, It’s is not too bad. It is more the feeling that this is the one person i can talk to about my real thoughts, but it is slipping now. I feel myself growing more distant, not daring to […]
So, i found this site and thought: Why not share some of my thoughts here? First i must say, that my english isn’t too good, so boring, repetitive and easy sentences will be written here. Now let’s begin.
First some information about me: I am completely healthy, i have good grades even though i don’t study for it and i don’t have financial problems. However i probably have a Schizoid personality disorder. At least i fit exactly to all descriptions you can find about it. Also i am very bad at sports, only moving a bit exhausts me, i can’t walk for a long time […]
Well, my best friend wrote me a really long and sweet letter to me last night. She told me how much she loves me and cares for me and misses me( I’m in another country visiting family). And she is the top person I love and care for. I couldn’t live with out her. Literally. And she told me should couldn’t live with out me either. I guess our friendship is a bit odd. We want to off ourselves together. And we have been planning that for some time now. I really think its gona work. But we want to use a shotgun, to be […]
You. not anyone else. just you. you’re the only person I can talk to, the only person who hasn’t walked away, who hasn’t ignored me.
Please…come back. I’m desperate for you’re comfort. I need to hear those words, to let me know it’ll all be okay.
Kitty can’t live without her iguana…
To those who suffer and think that suicide will end the pain, I have a message for you…..
by ibjennyjenny
written by ibjennyjenny
To those who suffer and think that suicide will end the pain, I have a message for you…..
I’m not suicidal, but I used to be. I wish I knew five years ago what I know now, and I feel like I have to share it– So I’m sorry if this sounds preachy, because I really don’t mean for it to be.
When I was five my sister, Jen, killed herself with an intentional drug overdose. A decade later I was thinking about doing the same. I’d sit on the floor of my room every day after school and try to think of reasons not to end my life, with no luck. A couple of times I held a knife to my wrist, even […]
Hello. I am depressed. I need to go to a place where no one can judge me and yet I can tell anything too. In short, I messed up, I messed up my whole life and future. I was dating a boy for a year and a half and he didn’t receive enough attention from me. I was being beaten a lot from my father and I did not want to tell him because I was ashamed of it and I did not want him to get hurt as well. I wish I told him so we might still be together. After he broke up […]
With a heartbeat
dragged screaming from my rest
They cut me short.
Im a God whore now
Hiding under desks to hide away from people.
Whats with this Shyness
No dont do that
No Dont think that
Its Gods Will
Its wrong
Its Evil
They Laugh
They are Happy
Have Friends
They all going to hell
What is this wall
I can see you
What is wrong with me
Where is your sense of pride boy
Happy moments
Sad sack
There are people I love so much
And […]
So, what happened… Thursday night, I downed a bottle of medicine, because someone three fries short of a happy meal wrote on a website that “liquid is absorbed faster than pills.†So I thought… I die faster, and I fall asleep before I suffer. So much for that idea…
Obviously, my plan didn’t work. I didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything, though. I downed it, and my heart was pounding, to the point that I just knew I was going to die. So I laid down in bed, pulled the covers over my head, turned on Relient K, and tried to go to […]
I dont know what im going to do without her. She was my bestfriend at least i thought. I wasted 3 years of my life in some friendship. You might say friendships come and go.. but ill tell you why this one was diffrent. We were more then friends at one point. She started it and i went along with it just so happy that someone loved me. One night when she stayed the night she put her arm around me and that was it. Its as much as my fault as it is hers i didnt stop anything. Nothing serious ever happened just cuddling […]
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