How many fucking things can go wrong? Just when you think it can’t get worse…
Sighhhh. I just want to cut and pop. Gets tough to fight the urges.
:/
Tag:
Fucking
i fucking hate my mind. it plays such horrible games with me. i cant stop thinking about the beatings i would get from my mom. and each one is more vivid than the last. looks like im going to wind up cutting..again. such a fucking failure.
pain… everything hurts, every single memory, each word, all my love gone forever and my life going to waste.
by sowhat
written by sowhat
Don’t wanna breathe anymore, don’t want to think anymore, don’t wanna spend the rest of my life missing the good times, don’t wanna have a life without my family and friends, Don’t wanna have this life, some days life feels just like a sickness and death seems to be the only cure…Fucking life worth less than nothing.Â
I tried it, I couldnt do it Ive fucked it up. i dont know how to do it, quickly so thers no chance of fucking up, i tried getting some castor bean seeds but my ma caught me online. idk what to do, i just want something quick and untreatable but the only ways i have accsess to can be reversed or aren’t quick im not too fussy on painless though. any ideas cuz quite honestly im fucked up now all i got left to do is die any ideas and no i dont fucking want to talk i tried getting help but in ireland […]
I lost my best friend to cancer. I first met her when we were 9, we played basketball on the same team. We had clicked instantly. Best friends right away. She lived two blocks away and we always would meet at the park to hang out. She was a year older then me and she was like a big sister. She always had my back and looked out for me. When she was 12 she got cancer. She had it for three months and then the doctors said it went away. But then four months later, just before she turned 13, the doctors said that […]
Can’t stand it anymore. I’m so socially excluded no work no study no activities no friends no nothing. I sit here all day everyday get excited my mental health people are gonna help me and they cancel..week after week. Spend all day trying to find something i can do but this feeling is pretty debilitating. Cant tell them they’ll shove me back in hospital i still have flashbacks from that place. Nothing feels normal anymore maybe i’m already dead i’m something and i dont think it’s ever going until i do. fuck this.
omg, so the ***** and i r home alone, she tells me to do HER chores. well i did them for her the past 3weeks im tired of it. so i said no then she threatened to beat me with the belt,so i tore it out of her hands and pushed her to the ground. she screamed “ABUSER ABUSER!”and called 911!!! omfg! ***** r u fucking stupid. luckily nothing happened but still she is so stupid. well yeah i hate her. think shes an angel? hang around her. she is a *****. SHE IS SATANS ***** DAUGHTER. she can go to hell. its her home.
why why why why why why why WHY FUCKING WHY!? are you so mean. i asked u for my mascara back..so u chuck out your door and it hits me right in the eye. it hurt seriously like fuck. u look at me and say “aww is poor baby ganna cry? what a loser” then u grab a belt and beat me with it. “hahahaha now u can cry over that” which i was. “yay yay! your in pain. this is my favorite day ever!” my mom: yeah she’s just watching all this and laughing. oh oh oh..and u pushed me into the wall and […]
So I woke up another morning. I saw my therapist this morning and told her nothing of my plans to kill myself or how bad the urge has gotten. How much I think about death. That I don’t see myself making it another month. What’s the point in counseling?? You can’t be honest…you tell them that you want to die and you will be thrown in a mental hospital which in my experience does nothing but make you wanna cut more and wanna die. I’ve done what I was supposed to do..i got “help”, I take the medicine everyday and I do all the coping […]
Dear Jackie, I remember a lot of years you had a lot of issues. I saw the cuts on your wrist.. and when we asked you, you told us they were the cat. I guess I believed you at first but then it came clear. your step father raped you.. you had deliberatley hurt yourself.. I was wrong to say all of the things I said to you in front of people.. I didnt know how hard it was to deal with those things. I truly am sorry.. I now know what its like to feel these feelings.. I know what its like to be […]
I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I FUCKING HATE HIM. I keep trying to tell him he’s gonna regret the way he treats me and it would hit him hard and suddenly. Why can’t he see I’m dying? He’ll feel it when I’m gone… Then maybe he’ll learn his lesson and treat her right too… She acts like it’s nothing, but he’s hurting her too…. She’s got enough aggrivation with my stepdad, she doesn’t have to deal with Aedan too… I fucking hate him… I hope when he finds out […]
I just woke up a few minutes ago. I was just resting my head on my pillow when that feeling hit. Boom. How do I know I actually exist? Why do I feel like I’ve seriously been here before. It keeps nagging me in the back of my brain. It wake me up abruptly from a night of rest or just before. I hate how it does that. Stop bothering me with these thoughts. That and my memories. I understand they happened. I understand one day I will die. STOP REMINDING ME. That’s all my brain does it just reminds me like I don’t already […]
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where have i gone wrong?Â
my deep decent into depression is worse than i thought possible. i have literally lost my mind. ive driven myself mad. i dont know whats real anymore,i cant concentrate. i daydream consistently, i cant controll it, its like ny mind is trying ti escape reality. its become so severe i struggle to tell if im actually imagining it or its really happening. im so insecure, i have no friends, my family disownes me, treats me like absolute shit. im so very alone, not a single person to talk to, but thats just reality. i dont sleep anymore, i just lay in […]
I feel so overwhelmed, I want out. My family never listens, so much fucking aggression. Everything is my fault. I want it to stop. Im so over my head, I just want someone to listen. I want something in my life that makes it worth it. I’m so sick of the fucking expectations and lectures and screaming!!!! I just want someone to be civil! No one will talk to me, Im fucking alone. They just get angry and yell when I talk about my feelings. I dont have any adequate instruments to cut myself. I feel like i’m welling up with all these ugly emotions, […]
I made a fool of myself last night again. Well, maybe not. Anyway, my best friend was in town and the past 4 or 5 times hes been here I haven’t been able to hang out with him. I was always pretty upset about it, anyway. I finally seen him and went to a little party with him and got reaaaaaally drunk. Tequila. Fucked me right up. And I thought I could handle it this time. Iv’e been truly happy lately. But not last night. I went outside to have a smoke and found a spot where I was alone and my friend followed. I […]
I can’t. this isn’t living. This is barely fucking surviving. And I can’t take this anymore. I should’ve done it right the first time or hell even the second time…who knows maybe the third time’s the charm. Fuck! Fuck it all to hell. I can’t even think straight anymore. I just want this to end. it’s time for my pathetic/miserable existence to end
8 fucking years and we got put together again wow im amazed how after that long we still act like best friends and now were back to being over 2000 miles apart but this time were doing it right were not going to go into 8+ years of silence i could see it in your eyes how happy you were to see me and sad i couldnt stay longer i even felt it as u held me close in front of our families. how everytime u let me out of your arms you looked so hurt. i know we get to do this right now […]
lately all i can do is laugh, its all so fucking funny,
its funny how i am such a pathetic person that has pity on himself while nothing bad enough has happened to me, its also funny how everything hurts, its funny that i am writing this and i am only now realising how terrible i am feeling, its funny how i can’t stop hating myself for a second. its funny how i never have any rest, its funny how i keep telling myself i don’t care , its funny how i love pain, how i love being treated like shit by my father, i […]
So yeah, it’s been quite a while since i last posted here, almost a year i think. Still alive.
Mum found out about my addiction ’cause i told her, she was helpful the first 2 days but then she just starting yelling at me and threatening me and shit, that’s what i fucking need when i try and quit pills and when i have so much anxiety i’m shaking, along with some depression. fucking great.
can’t find a job either, so that’s fun
EDIT: a couple or a few weeks ago i was almost kidnapped, then the next week i got beat up, this week i […]
I’ve always been lonely. It’s like I don’t belong at all( new to this site)
written by suchalonglastname
Hello everyone. I don’t understand my depression and often times I want to kill myself for being so goddamn fucking stupid and putting my boyfriend through hell. Me and my brother both have clinical depression. This isn’t something that can be fixed with just “positive thinking”. We need our anti-depressents. I hate to say the most cliche thing any depressed person could ever say but I really have always been a lonely person who never could hold a friendship. Kids wouldn’t tease me,They would belittle me. This isn’t what has made me depressed but this has shaped my lack of social skills. This world and […]