Tag:

get better

Feeling like today is the day (Update)

by Blood_Lotus 4/9/2016

written by Blood_Lotus

I think, my mind is ready. I have been constantly thinking about suicide for, I can’t remember how long. And I tried to get better but only got steadily worse. Now instead of dreams where I am killed by other people, for the last 5 days it is myself that is throwing themselves into the void over and over again.

I have an outdated suicide note in my nightstand. Written a couple of weeks ago… not sure if I should revise it last minute or tear it up completely.

I feel no words could explain why I want to off myself. I failed to convey it to them […]

4/9/2016 7 comments

Random 4th grade memory and other emotional breakdown fueled bitching

by chelle428 4/4/2016

written by chelle428

All of my life I had been abused by my parents and my parents were abusive to each other until my mom walked out on us for a year and then our parents just ignored us. In elementary school I had a lot of problems in class and I would sometime sit there and cry all day and have to kept in the office. Sometimes I would talk to the school counselor. One day in the 4th grade the counselor called me in and told me she would have me take an anonymous survey that a bunch of other kids were taking and told me not […]

4/4/2016 3 comments

I’m sad and self destructive, why would it get better?

by blank-clutter 4/3/2016

written by blank-clutter

How can my mind get any better when there is so much negative experience constantly happening. I remember before my first bouts of depressions and I wasn’t normal then. Me at my best wasn’t enough for me to have a good healthy life, why would me after all this struggle be any good? I want good enough then, now I’m beyond bad

My goals are simple now, I just have to have the courage or order a couple of things. Just wish it was cheaper

Just do it and don’t look back

4/3/2016 2 comments

A part of me thinks it will get better

by blank-clutter 3/31/2016

written by blank-clutter

Is it a good part? Should it be listened to? It’s very unrealistic and naive but it’s hopeful. Last I checked hope was a good thing.

The other part is a realist and knows that history is a good predictor of the past. Being on a downward spiral points further down.

in short, I’m suicidal with a fantasy of breaking free and becoming something great

3/31/2016 5 comments

I’m just trying to calm myself.

by xx 3/31/2016

written by xx

I can’t stop crying and I can’t sleep.

Strangely, I’m scared that I may have a panic attack. I read somewhere about the low-grade ones where your heart races and you’re scared and your mind turns blank… but now I can’t seem to find information about this.

I’m at such a loss. I don’t know what to do. I feel so scared.

I took a lot of sleep aids again tonight, even though I told myself I wouldn’t. I can’t stop hurting myself.

I think this is probably withdrawal, but looking at the way things have been going so far this year, I’m almost positive that these pills aren’t […]

3/31/2016 5 comments

I try

by Drowning 3/29/2016

written by Drowning

i try to help other people though their struggles because I have no idea how to help /save myself helping other takes away my pain for short time and is a distraction I like all you guys your strength give me strength when I’m in the darkness fighting the demons

“were in the same game just different levels same hell just different demons ”

would be nice to get to know everyone we all try to support each other though the struggle and you guys have supported me in my dark hours

im not saying we will beat this I’m not saying things will or won’t get better […]

3/29/2016 23 comments

I need help

by kupo95 3/28/2016

written by kupo95

Im so lost so broken Im trying with every fiber in my body to keep it together. but when I get myself in room alone I can’t function. I want to die soooo bad , I want it l to end . my husband seen me in ball of mess in the closet. He said “don”t worried I’ll take to get makeup later , so stop crying ” I said I dont care About the make up it sucks but whatever . I want to die i thought. Then he asked wich killed me to hear but felt numb inside. Are you unhappy with […]

3/28/2016 2 comments

Weak

by Drowning 3/25/2016

written by Drowning

I really don’t know how I used to purge it’s so fucking hard now mayb because I’m getting older or weaker ? I have lost the will to live so I guess the will power has gone to so unless a miracle happens or I get it right next time I’m going to be fat and depressed no i won’t let that happen il kill myself before that happens hope I get the strength to get it right because watching my weight gain slowly is like a slow suicide in its self And people say things get better being alive is a living hell !!!

3/25/2016 0 comment

Untitled

by imokaybutnotreally 3/25/2016

written by imokaybutnotreally

“You have so much to live for.”

I don’t know how may more times I can listen to that. Anytime I talk to any friends or family it’s the same thing. They start by telling me how I am going through a rough patch and that it will all get better. They don’t offer any real advice. They half ass their responses and tell me how my future is going to be just fantastic. I am getting frustrated even thinking of it now. A severe case of anxiety and depression is no “rough patch”. I have been dealing with these issues since before I can remember. […]

3/25/2016 1 comment

by Drowning 3/24/2016

written by Drowning

i find it so hard to express how I’m really feeling or mayb I don’t know how I’m feeling

so the mental health people come to check up on me every 3 days now because what happened on Monday well the woman asked do I regret doing it I pursed and said noI don’t….

because my life is pretty much a mess I don’t know what to do were to start lost interest in everything I’m bored of life iv seen enough and been though a lot why be optimistic ? Yeah things can get better but finding happiness is what counts and I don’t tink il […]

3/24/2016 2 comments

Another day..

by headupunderdarkcloud 3/24/2016

written by headupunderdarkcloud

Another day without her.
Another day with the painful memories of the past.
Another day I need to move my stuff out. 7 days left here at this place that saw everything fall apart.
Another day still don’t know where going to next.
3 cigarettes and memories of how things once were, where things were going, between sips of black coffee, trying to wrap my head around how things came to this. How I became this person, unrecognizable from photos taken only 10 months before.
The fear it’ll never get better, and only possibly worse.
Homeless at 34, abandoned hope for a brighter future, the […]

3/24/2016 3 comments

Drained

by Drowning 3/23/2016

written by Drowning

so fucking tired having to wake up at 6 am and basically run up and down stairs all day I’m mentally and physically drained plus i don’t really want to be alive but I ain’t really got a choice right now and now il feel guilty if I try again but it’s only a matter of time I guess I just hope I get it right next time unless things magically get better which I don’t think is going to happen so I’m kind of I’m limbo again

how’s everyone in suicide club today ?

3/23/2016 4 comments

hoping this helps

by moretroublethanimworth 3/22/2016

written by moretroublethanimworth

I’ve struggled with depression, insecurity, and severe anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember. My first appointment with a therapist occurred when I was 10 years old, I’m currently a sophomore in college. My depression comes and goes but I feel like it’s just been around for a while this time and it’s worse than ever before. I’ve never really struggled with suicidal thoughts, until just recently. The thing about it is: I do not want to die, I just have no desire to live. I don’t truly believe I could go through with killing myself, but I can’t stop thinking about it. […]

3/22/2016 3 comments

Plan B

by Drowning 3/21/2016

written by Drowning

well last nights plan didn’t workout to well waking up in hospital on a drip I need to think of a different method because I don’t think things will get better and iv lost the will to live so I don’t like the idea of crawling though life

3/21/2016 7 comments

Ready

by Drowning 3/20/2016

written by Drowning

i think tonight’s the night to try again we’ll see how things go had enough of life i feel iv lived long enough you know when people say things get better when is that ? Happiness isn’t promised think I’m living with faults hopes with no plans for the future no goals just the battle everyday with myself this isn’t living life it’s just surviving another day and having to act like your doing fine and handling life but really your face down in the gutter drowning in thought trying to keep your head above water if this is how the rest of my life […]

3/20/2016 6 comments

I’m In A Bad Place Again

by Musicsavesme 3/18/2016

written by Musicsavesme

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. I’ve been pretty depressed and anxious ever since. And my mom just found out I failed 3 of my classes last tri, and she said she’s gonna take my phone and car away if I don’t get better grades. That really worries me because my music is on my phone and I rely on my music daily. Everything’s getting a lot harder to deal with. If I see him in the cafeteria at school, I get sick to my stomach and I usually don’t end up eating very much, if at all. I feel like […]

3/18/2016 3 comments

Life is so…

by Wintergirl 3/18/2016

written by Wintergirl

Much sometimes. I have had such a crazy few weeks. I’ve been sick with a cold/flu/maybe viral pneumonia for two weeks now. All this coughing is a blast, I have had people get on my case about going to the doctor and my reply was, they can’t do anything this is the stuff EVERYONE else has and it’s viral. They can’t do shit to help me. I’m not wasting any money for them to tell me to take it easy and keep up on my fluids. Part of me wants it to kill me. If I don’t get better it’s going to turn into a […]

3/18/2016 0 comment

It Gets Better

by DexQuietlyBreaking 3/17/2016

written by DexQuietlyBreaking

For any LGBT people out there struggling:

You are not alone.

I’m transgender/lesbian and still fighting hard.

It does get better. I promise.

3/17/2016 3 comments

What’s the point?

by chelle428 3/17/2016

written by chelle428

To be honest, I can’t stop crying and I don’t know why. Nothing particularly bad happened I’m just so unreasonably miserable.

Today, I’m so desperately wishing that the human body wasn’t built to survive, and that it wasn’t so difficult to die. I wish I knew how to use a gun, because if I did I’d shoot myself since I have access to a gun. I wish all the useless leftover antidepressants I had would kill me if I took them all. Maybe the lexapro would since I’m allergic.

I wish I knew one person who was kind to me, I wish I had friends. I wish […]

3/17/2016 5 comments

Time will tell

by Drowning 3/16/2016

written by Drowning

well were to start well having to get up for college at 6 am today and tomorrow and mayb Friday Which really dose suck because I hate college now but I’m one of them people that have to finish something They start OCD maybe who knows

but the worst part is no not having to get up and go to college which u hate or get up at 6 am

The problem is waking up at all I really didn’t plan on living this long I really didn’t I should really have died at 18 or 19 so I’m like a decade over due and still don’t […]

3/16/2016 9 comments

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