I should be studying for my quantitative management exam I have tomorrow morning. I should be applying for internships for the summer. I should be out and laughing with friends. I should snuggling up with my ex-boyfriend. I should be watching Dirty Dancing with my best friend. I should be the happy go- lucky 20 year old that everyone expects me to be. But I’m not. Instead I sit here alone contemplating what my life is really worth.
I’ve always had that side of me that was never happy, and sometimes it would rear its ugly head and tell me how pathetic, worthless, unsuccessful, unattractive, […]
Tag:
God
Had a child. He suffers 1 year in the ICU and constantly in pain.
Painful to breathe, eat and even to take a crap. Basically painful to be alive. Yet he fights.
Everything points to God and the gods out there. They are just screwing with me. Hurting me where it hurts most.
Wife sad and keeps asking all the W’s that I have no answers to/
Baby wont live long. He goes to near death on a monthly basis. I revive him.
He fights. I am dieing inside by his side. He cries when we cry.
His case is a anomaly. No defect in genetics or any sort. A medical […]
I have a rare genetical disease that’s making me blind. I can hardly see anymore. It’s so difficult to write this post. The disease has also affected my muscles and nervous system. I’m wheelchair bound and I’m getting weaker day by day. I lost my job and my fiancee, she left me. I’m just 33 yrs and I wanted so much from life. But God has left me all alone. The doctor says I won’t ever get better. I’m going to die from either heart failure or breathing failure or failure of the liver/kidney. I don’t want to die in so much suffering. I want […]
The girl was laying in her bed staring up at the ceiling, unblinking, her long hair streaming out around her. Her tears had made large damp marks on her pillow case. The door was closed; the blinds were drawn.
She was waiting for the pills to take effect.
She wondered how long it would be before she started to drift away. She hoped it would be painless and peaceful – just like in the movies. How long had it been already? It felt like forever.
She thought of her family. Of her brothers and sister. Would they miss her after she was gone? They had never exactly been […]
What or who do you think is torturing us? And why? Is it a god that’s torturing us for some reason? Is it some evil powers like demons? Or is it just “nature”?
I see a picture of horses grazing in a field and, my god, it’s so beautiful, it’s so peaceful, none of them are bleeding, or in any pain, all of them are beautiful happy and content. That’s how life should be.
Instead we have chaos everywhere police syrens, blood, screams, filth, crying, humiliation, emptiness, suicide, hopeless, traumatized….
Everything is wrong. I want to know why.
all and all im happy right now and thats all that counts .Lifes to short to not make your self happy in life  . when it all boils down to it ..i did it my way .and i cant complain because i got everything i wished for and prayed for.. thats how i know theRe is a God  and He must love me .no one else does …the only thing i can tell you is God will give  you what you  pray for  ..but the key in praying to HIM  is use detail   God im lonley  ..so then God gives […]
why won’t the pain in my heart and mind  stop
why must i live in this shell and suffer the days and nights .
why does god keep me lock in this shell to suffer so much
why have i never found love in this life
how can i say good bye to my  only child without hurting her
how can i make them see that I’ve run out of time
why is it so hard to dream the dream of peace
why is it so hard to let go, all i wanted in this world is to  be loved
i am i selfish to want to end this life
. how can i […]
as I sit here deep in thought. Am i something you forgot? I am lonely, I am cold. These feelings surrounding me are getting old. I wonder every day, if your love is here to stay. only God knows why so I sit here and I pray. hoping one day this pain will go away I feel torn I feel used I feel broken and abused my heart can’t take this anymore broken shattered on the floor. I am here you are there why can’t you just finally care you say you love me say its true but this love fires turning blue. broken […]
the other post is getting heavier to load so i have forced to creat this one:)
Here are some proofs for god’s none existence.they are logical but they work 90% depending no your open mindness
hi, i am 20 years old and i’m currently studying overseas from my country. the first time i wanted to kill myself was when i was in the 4th grade (8 years old). and since then, every time i got a problem, i always thinking of suicide. i used to cut my wrist and taking sleeping pills when i was in junior high school. i have lots of problems with my family, school, and sometimes boyfriend. i just moved here 3 months ago and every night before i go to bed i always pray and ask to God what am i doing here, in this […]
I need really to talk.
I got a whole buch of meds just beside me. I don’t know if it’s enough, but it’s all I got. I got a whole bottle of wine already.
I feel lonely. I’m 33 years old years.Thanks I got already a therapist. Doesn’t help that much.
I’ve been chasing the same guy for two years and half. I’ve met a guy a few days ago who just don’t reply anymore to text messages. Even though he seem very interested.
I met a girl last month. She just told me today I “was a nice person” but she met someone else. It’s rare I got […]
Please God…..let me sleep…..let me sleep and just stay that way.
im a sophmore in highschool, and i have gone through a lot with my mom. My background story is fine nothing wrong as a kid my parents are still together blah blah. But it started in 7th grade. My mom started making me more and more angry as the days went on.. It didnt get real bad until 8th grade though. My mom was driving me to the point where i was suicidal. I didnt want to live here any longer. I attempted, was too scared and gave that attempt up, then about a week later, one of my former good friends decided to take […]
Every day, I see beautiful people around me. People with straight, pearly white teeth. People with skin as soft as satin and blemish free. They have everything in their hands, and they know it. Even I have to admit that beautiful people have the upper hand in life, because, hell, who doesn’t like looking at a pretty face?
My skin is disgusting compared to theirs. It’s spotted with scars. Trust me, scabies and a skin picking problem do not go well together. Now the scabies are gone, but the scars and scabs have been there for two years.
It’s almost as if God has decided that I […]
I think I should become christian.I don’t want to go to h*ll,and if I’m atheist then I’d run the risk of going to h*ll if God does exist.When I was christian I was happy but I lost my faith and started feeling alone again.So I think I should at least try to be christian before I think about killing myself.What do you think I should do?
So sorry Syria,
It’s your turn now to suffer the relentless war machine we have created. This was never the “dream” of the people, but some one pressed the bottom and now the machine is unstoppable.
Our collective hands are in the air and our perspective noses are back to the floor, our febel eyes rolled back with our stubborn feet kicking pebbles in our absence of helpful words for reasoning.
“I guess..I guess..well idk!”
If we had control over ourselves..idk!
If we really believed in a better world for…idk!
And if we could change things for tomorrow […]
I need to find someone who is like me and can tell me what the fuck is wrong with me.
I have this continuous feeling that I will never be good enough for anyone and that I have an expiry date, a certain amount of time a person can spend with me before they start to hate me.
This is not a once in a while thing, I feel like this all the time.
I cry myself to sleep every night parying to god to fix the thing that’s fucked up about me.
I need someone who has felt the same way as me to […]
deep inside im sad, its true that a person who laughs the most are the saddest. Crazy isn’t it?Haha is this one way of god’s keeping the balance in us humans so that we can survive our every day life of chaos and sadness? he’ll make us laugh at small things even if its not that funny.. i hate it when i laughed at small things, it makes me feel like im stupid but i can’t help it thats how my mind and body reacts to help me survive and live through the day 🙁 Crazy world!
Where do I start off I have a really low self-esteem, when someone calls me ugly I smile and I try to let it go.but I tell everybody I can that their beautiful cause i don’t want them to know how it feels this way i constantly think of suicide i cut and when i do it i don’t do it very deep just enough to feel the pain i cry myself to sleep and i ask god the same question over and over why am i still here? I go to high school and when i see the pretty girls i collapse i try […]